This week most people are back to work or school and schedules and routines kick back in. I am finding getting out of bed so hard so far, my eyes burn and refuse to open for at least 10 minutes of being awake. That said, within days it will become usual again as the holiday relaxed state fades into the background. Sigh!
However this week has been marvelous in many ways. It has been a little quieter than usual, and it has offered up a little time to reconnect with friends over lunch and coffee and in my case, quiet time at my desk to plan in breaks throughput the year, ensure time for holidays is blocked and ensure the important stuff gets planned.
It seems that others have been doing this too. As one friend quoted, this week has been about putting the big rocks in.
She reminded me of the story
http://www.appleseeds.org/big-rocks_covey.htm
So what are your big rocks? Are they in?
What about that project? That girls weekend? That play you wanted to book?
I reckon by Friday the slot for doing this has gone, so what is stopping you?
Showing posts with label being bold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being bold. Show all posts
And the 2016 word is.........
DARE
I have thought long and hard about my word for the new year. I take my word very seriously as it can become a compass at times when I need a form of guidance. Also when I commit to something I tend to take action and ensure I live up to the intent. So whatever word I take, I have to be willing to live up to it!
I have played with a few ideas.
Dance
Light
Breathe
Chill
Stable
Kind
I have had a few conversations with lovely friends to hear their words and to bounce off mine. I have heard:
Mindful
Courage
Belief
Expectationless
Present
Calm
Compass
Moments (love this one!)
And after these conversations and my morning reflections whilst lying lazily I bed, I have landed with DARE.
I have to confess, I have a nervousness with the word. I am a little scared of it if I am honest. As I really don't know where it can lead me and what trouble it can get me it. Does it mean that I am daring myself to make the controversial decision, maybe it is about daring to be honest, daring to change a plan, daring to live into my future self, daring to write a book, daring to go to new places, daring to do the unexpected, daring to live up to my capabilities, daring to do what I want to do, daring to go bald, daring to wear my headscarf at work, daring to express all the emotions I feel. Just taking one step further and being a little more daring.
If I take this word, I have to confess I don't know what it will bring. Stable, my word of 2015, was easy to imagine, but Dare is very different. Dare is exciting and scary.
So I will let you know how it works for me and you let me know how yours works for you.
Have a great start to what promises to be a wonderful year.
I have thought long and hard about my word for the new year. I take my word very seriously as it can become a compass at times when I need a form of guidance. Also when I commit to something I tend to take action and ensure I live up to the intent. So whatever word I take, I have to be willing to live up to it!
I have played with a few ideas.
Dance
Light
Breathe
Chill
Stable
Kind
I have had a few conversations with lovely friends to hear their words and to bounce off mine. I have heard:
Mindful
Courage
Belief
Expectationless
Present
Calm
Compass
Moments (love this one!)
And after these conversations and my morning reflections whilst lying lazily I bed, I have landed with DARE.
I have to confess, I have a nervousness with the word. I am a little scared of it if I am honest. As I really don't know where it can lead me and what trouble it can get me it. Does it mean that I am daring myself to make the controversial decision, maybe it is about daring to be honest, daring to change a plan, daring to live into my future self, daring to write a book, daring to go to new places, daring to do the unexpected, daring to live up to my capabilities, daring to do what I want to do, daring to go bald, daring to wear my headscarf at work, daring to express all the emotions I feel. Just taking one step further and being a little more daring.
If I take this word, I have to confess I don't know what it will bring. Stable, my word of 2015, was easy to imagine, but Dare is very different. Dare is exciting and scary.
So I will let you know how it works for me and you let me know how yours works for you.
Have a great start to what promises to be a wonderful year.
Why pink tights matter
It took me till I was 40 to really understand that I was "enough".
I realised literally on my 40th birthday, that I am a good person, I am kind and I have good intent. I work hard and do my best to deliver on my committments. And if that isn't enough for others, lets talk about it, but you know what, it is good enough for me. I am enough!
It took me till 40 to get that.
So last week when asked to open a female leader event, I decided to tell that story.
And I chose to do it wearing pink tights!.
You see pink tights are funky and funny and maybe not very common in a corporate world but they are me, so I wear them with pride.
I wore them with pride that day too and my message was two fold:
1. What are your pink tights and why are you not wearing them?
2. Are you waiting til 40 to be at your best?
I closed the event with a fabulous quote from Dolly Parton. Hope you like it!
I realised literally on my 40th birthday, that I am a good person, I am kind and I have good intent. I work hard and do my best to deliver on my committments. And if that isn't enough for others, lets talk about it, but you know what, it is good enough for me. I am enough!
It took me till 40 to get that.
So last week when asked to open a female leader event, I decided to tell that story.
And I chose to do it wearing pink tights!.
You see pink tights are funky and funny and maybe not very common in a corporate world but they are me, so I wear them with pride.
I wore them with pride that day too and my message was two fold:
1. What are your pink tights and why are you not wearing them?
2. Are you waiting til 40 to be at your best?
I closed the event with a fabulous quote from Dolly Parton. Hope you like it!
Top Tips for 4 weeks off
This Summer I decided that I would like to take four weeks of holiday with my family.
A few times I have taken 3 weeks, but usually I plump for 2 weeks and spread out the other weeks throughout the year, yet this year I decided to take 4. Not all travellng, just 4 weeks away from the office.
It was inspired by a few things. The first was that my friend took 4 weeks last year and said it was amazing and encouraged me to do the same. I also was granted an extra week of holiday just for this year as it was 10 years of service, and also I felt I needed to reconnect with my family.
So as I come back, all relaxed and calm from the wonderfully long break, I thought I would share with you my top tips for making this happen.
BBBs tips of taking a month off work
1. Communicate your intent often and to many. This starts to confirm the plan in your own head and with each declaration you actually believe it is true and start to committ.
2. Book 5 weeks off in your work calendar. This allows flexibility to change one of the weeks if work needs you for some days, you can always offer them week 1 or week 5.
3. Ensure you plan your workload so that the big stuff is done before you go.
4. Nominate someone to back you up, so that if something comes up and work need you, you can delegate to someone you completely trust
5. Committ to yourself that you are going to do it.
I don't think I would add more than that, but these 5 things definitely helped me.
So the big question, will I do it again? I think I might!
A few times I have taken 3 weeks, but usually I plump for 2 weeks and spread out the other weeks throughout the year, yet this year I decided to take 4. Not all travellng, just 4 weeks away from the office.
It was inspired by a few things. The first was that my friend took 4 weeks last year and said it was amazing and encouraged me to do the same. I also was granted an extra week of holiday just for this year as it was 10 years of service, and also I felt I needed to reconnect with my family.
So as I come back, all relaxed and calm from the wonderfully long break, I thought I would share with you my top tips for making this happen.
BBBs tips of taking a month off work
1. Communicate your intent often and to many. This starts to confirm the plan in your own head and with each declaration you actually believe it is true and start to committ.
2. Book 5 weeks off in your work calendar. This allows flexibility to change one of the weeks if work needs you for some days, you can always offer them week 1 or week 5.
3. Ensure you plan your workload so that the big stuff is done before you go.
4. Nominate someone to back you up, so that if something comes up and work need you, you can delegate to someone you completely trust
5. Committ to yourself that you are going to do it.
I don't think I would add more than that, but these 5 things definitely helped me.
So the big question, will I do it again? I think I might!
Transition matters
This year by complete fluke I have managed to have the Friday off work and free of committments before my Summer holiday starts of the Saturday. This is very different from last years scenario, when I rushed through my final meeting, grabbed my half packed bag and the family and raced out of the door, screaming at the family to hurry up to the airport.
As I said I can't take credit for this wonderful planning as it came about by my original idea of having this week off for holiday and deciding last minute not to, hence freeing up my calendar.
This has allowed me to have a glorious and dare I say relaxed week of work, including hanging out with friends for breakfast, lunch and dinner (not all on the same day, but spread out over the week), I met up for swims/floats down the Rhine and even a nice long walk. I have had time to complete my final work tasks, think through the delegation and as I said, have the Friday off to pack and prepare!! Amazing, such zen!
And you know what, this transition time matters. It matters for holidays and it matters when you come into the house from work, so why is it that I don't plan this in?
Have you ever tried to call the kids in from playing and chase them upstairs to brush their teeth and get ready for bed. It's impossible. Why don't they listen?? Well it's because transitions are hard. Moving so quickly from one thing to the next is difficult and the brain takes time to change its path.
So maybe, just maybe, I have learned from this week and next year I will plan in a week of transition.
It's definitely to be recommended!!!
Striving for perfection?
I am not a perfectionist.
At least that is what I would have said til now.
I love pareto's 80 / 20 rule and often claim I am more of a 60 / 40 kind of person.
However recently I have been challenging this assumption, not least because of a comment left on last weeks blog about "being grumpy at home and happy in the office".
The comment made me think twice. See below.
"First of all bickering and burdened is entirely compatible with happy and normal. We are none of us perfect and the bickering is a way of responding to the burden. What seems less normal is the image of perfection you are painting about your work life - your last sentence may be key to resolving the conundrum."
I began asking myself, what am I striving for? At work and at home. Is it perfection?
I would never have thought it was perfection, yet when I read this comment and thought about the efforts I go to sometimes to do the right thing, to ensure I send that mail, to follow up with that person, to call someone back. I have to admit I go to extreme measures to get most of these things done. Not forgetting that I want to go to the gym and be at home for dinner.
What is it that I am unwilling to let go of?
Is it OK if the laundry is not done?
Is it OK if I reply on Monday to the email I received yesterday?
Is it OK if I skip the gym?
Is it OK if I miss the work dinner?
Is it OK if I don't do everything that I believe is asked or expected of me?
Well of course it is OK in all of these cases, yet I strive to be all of these things to all of these people. What for? Who for? Why is it so important?
Are my expectations unrealistic?
What if I let a few things go and relax a little more?
I was asked in a course this week, "What would your 95 year old say to you today?" My answer was "Relax a little more, chill, let some stuff go"
I am not sure how I start about it, but having an intent seems a good way.
What would your 95 year old self say to you?
Do you have a TED talk in you?
I have a TED talk in me.
Do you?
Well lets start with what a TED talk is. TED stands for " Technology, Education, Design" and basically it is a a talk about a subject that is meaningful to the speaker and includes ideas to change the world. In fact their stated purpose is "Ideas worth spreading"
The length of any given speech is max. 18 minutes and it is like a strory which has a beginning, middle and end. They are usually great stories. The ones I am most familiar with are ones on leadership and personal well being, however I know there are a whole range of subjects to interest everyone including science, academics and culture. There are millions of recordings of them on youtube, thus very accessible to everyone.
TED conferences are held across the world in many great locations and hundreds of people desperately try to get tickets. Even the process of getting tickets is interesting. You don't just get them on a first come first served basis, you have to apply for one ticket and state why you want to join the conference and what is it that you bring. You can not buy multiple tickets.
Recently TEDx were in Switzerland and I was lucky enough to get a ticket. It was such an inspiring event in that the speakers were eclectic, fascinating and local. Would highly recommend it.
As I was watching the speakers, I thought to myself, I can do this. I have a TED talk in me.
I believe I could construct a story about "being beautiful in business". It would be a story about unconscious bias in the workplace, diversity and inclusion and ulimately about how hidden conditions like alopecia affect women at work.
So do you have a TED talk in you?
What is your subject?
One word - Mid Year review
This blog came as a consequence of two events.
The first being my corporate Mid year review. This is a check in half way through the year to see how you are doing in achieving the set 2015 objectives.
The second being a dear friend of mine commenting that she was upset that her word had been blown away by events and that her word was nowhere in reach. What I liked about this conversation was the direction that was set back in January when she chose her word. And also the awareness of the fact that the direction her life was taking was not right for her, for that year. Yes this is frustrating and maddening, yet the fact that the word was holding weight in her thoughts and furthermore her intent for the second half of the year, again reinforced the power of the one word for the year.
As a reminder of my one word for the year 2015. It was stable. Click here for the reminder!
This word has indeed guided me through a few moments this year. There was a situation recently where I was given a choice. The decision I took impacted my stability either one way or the other.
My response took only seconds to conjure up. My choice was to remain stable. Yes the other choice could have been exciting, enriching, bla, bla, bla. But my year was not about those things, my life choices did not need an injection of adrenalin. What I had whole hearted committed to and to which I remain loyal is stability. The power of my intent soared.
So do you remember what your word was?
Is it guiding you?
Are you remaining true to it?
How is your mid year reflection?
What are your hopes for the second part of the year?
Is this word still the right one for you?
Do tell.............
The first being my corporate Mid year review. This is a check in half way through the year to see how you are doing in achieving the set 2015 objectives.
The second being a dear friend of mine commenting that she was upset that her word had been blown away by events and that her word was nowhere in reach. What I liked about this conversation was the direction that was set back in January when she chose her word. And also the awareness of the fact that the direction her life was taking was not right for her, for that year. Yes this is frustrating and maddening, yet the fact that the word was holding weight in her thoughts and furthermore her intent for the second half of the year, again reinforced the power of the one word for the year.
As a reminder of my one word for the year 2015. It was stable. Click here for the reminder!
This word has indeed guided me through a few moments this year. There was a situation recently where I was given a choice. The decision I took impacted my stability either one way or the other.
My response took only seconds to conjure up. My choice was to remain stable. Yes the other choice could have been exciting, enriching, bla, bla, bla. But my year was not about those things, my life choices did not need an injection of adrenalin. What I had whole hearted committed to and to which I remain loyal is stability. The power of my intent soared.
So do you remember what your word was?
Is it guiding you?
Are you remaining true to it?
How is your mid year reflection?
What are your hopes for the second part of the year?
Is this word still the right one for you?
Do tell.............
Humans with stories
Take a moment to stop and breathe.
I did this this morning on my way to a meeting.
I was cycling over a bridge where the view was spectacular and I stopped.
Just literally for 5 seconds. I stopped, looked at the water, and took one deep breathe.
It was lovely.
Although any yoga practioner would say that you should not think of anything at this time, except your breath, I didnt. I had my head full.
My thought at that moment, was that we are all humans, with our own story.
That was it.
I then began peddaling and rode on my merry way to my meeting.
What I did not expect, was that in that meeting, I would come back to that moment and share that exact insight with the group of Engineers I was standing in front of.
I told them that I was aware that they were all humans with their own story.
Shortly after one of the participants, when prompted, got up and told a story about his child and how it had given him purpose and meaning. It was such a wonderful moment. Such an inspiration.
It was amazing to see what that one moment of pause and deep breathe, had caused in another person. And I dare say, in a broader group of people.
I then began wondering what if I had had two breathes!! Lol.
So I encourage you all to take 5 seconds out of your day and breathe. Just one, long and focussed deep breath.
See what changes happen because of it.
Let me know............
I did this this morning on my way to a meeting.
I was cycling over a bridge where the view was spectacular and I stopped.
Just literally for 5 seconds. I stopped, looked at the water, and took one deep breathe.
It was lovely.
Although any yoga practioner would say that you should not think of anything at this time, except your breath, I didnt. I had my head full.
My thought at that moment, was that we are all humans, with our own story.
That was it.
I then began peddaling and rode on my merry way to my meeting.
What I did not expect, was that in that meeting, I would come back to that moment and share that exact insight with the group of Engineers I was standing in front of.
I told them that I was aware that they were all humans with their own story.
Shortly after one of the participants, when prompted, got up and told a story about his child and how it had given him purpose and meaning. It was such a wonderful moment. Such an inspiration.
It was amazing to see what that one moment of pause and deep breathe, had caused in another person. And I dare say, in a broader group of people.
I then began wondering what if I had had two breathes!! Lol.
So I encourage you all to take 5 seconds out of your day and breathe. Just one, long and focussed deep breath.
See what changes happen because of it.
Let me know............
One year on
So it is one year since we touched down.
The wheels of the aeroplane landed on the tarmac in Zurich. Early morning. April 1st 2014.
We have been back "home" now for one year.
It has been a wonderful year, full of ups and downs, mainly ups.
So what has happened since then
1. Our friends are our real friends. If anything our friendships have gotten deeper.
2. We still speak, email and laugh with our Canadian friends,
3. My husband opened a Beer Brewing club - on the very day we landed. 1 year later. Coincidence???
4. We have travelled a little around Europe, enjoying the proximity of the countries
5. I have a new job, which is my dream job, which I love
6. We have lots of plans to look forward to
7. We have seen our family a little more
8. I have given up ice hockey :-( it just didnt work here
9. We have redone the garden
10. We bought, renovated and rented another house.
11. My little girl started school
So lots of things in a year. Some big. Some small.
We are very happy to be here. Very happy to be home.
I believe a full cycle is needed to understand where you live.
One Spring. One Summer. One Autumn. One Winter.
What have you done this last year?
The wheels of the aeroplane landed on the tarmac in Zurich. Early morning. April 1st 2014.
We have been back "home" now for one year.
It has been a wonderful year, full of ups and downs, mainly ups.
So what has happened since then
1. Our friends are our real friends. If anything our friendships have gotten deeper.
2. We still speak, email and laugh with our Canadian friends,
3. My husband opened a Beer Brewing club - on the very day we landed. 1 year later. Coincidence???
4. We have travelled a little around Europe, enjoying the proximity of the countries
5. I have a new job, which is my dream job, which I love
6. We have lots of plans to look forward to
7. We have seen our family a little more
8. I have given up ice hockey :-( it just didnt work here
9. We have redone the garden
10. We bought, renovated and rented another house.
11. My little girl started school
So lots of things in a year. Some big. Some small.
We are very happy to be here. Very happy to be home.
I believe a full cycle is needed to understand where you live.
One Spring. One Summer. One Autumn. One Winter.
What have you done this last year?
My care bear cookbook
My 10 year old, is capable of now cooking a simple dinner. Spaghetti with home made tomato sauce (garlic, onions, tomatoes, basil). I think it is so important for us to teach the kids to cook, especially cheap and healthy meals.
I don’t recall learning to cook at home, I kind of taught myself at college. I will not blame my mum for this, as I would assume I just wasn’t interested, and my kind mum, let me get away with this.
Despite my lack of interest and helping at home, at school it was different. There was an obligation.
At school we had lessons.
As a result, I do have a hand written cook book. I created it following my cookery classes at school, in fact I think they were called Domestic Education lessons, not cookery lessons. Either way I still have it and still use it.
What I like about the recipes, is there simplicity.
Victoria sponge cake
Flap jacks
Pancakes
Etc
What I find cute and a little embarrassing when other people pick up the book, is the fact that I rated the recipes with scores out of ten, and with my verbatim thoughts. 8/10 – would do it again, 6/10 too sweet.
Maybe I missed my calling as a food critic????
Do you have something from your school days that you hang on to??
I don’t recall learning to cook at home, I kind of taught myself at college. I will not blame my mum for this, as I would assume I just wasn’t interested, and my kind mum, let me get away with this.
Despite my lack of interest and helping at home, at school it was different. There was an obligation.
At school we had lessons.
As a result, I do have a hand written cook book. I created it following my cookery classes at school, in fact I think they were called Domestic Education lessons, not cookery lessons. Either way I still have it and still use it.
What I like about the recipes, is there simplicity.
Victoria sponge cake
Flap jacks
Pancakes
Etc
What I find cute and a little embarrassing when other people pick up the book, is the fact that I rated the recipes with scores out of ten, and with my verbatim thoughts. 8/10 – would do it again, 6/10 too sweet.
Maybe I missed my calling as a food critic????
Do you have something from your school days that you hang on to??
Diaries and letters
Having a few nights on my own, as the family are with the in-laws for a week, I took the opportunity to sift out some rubbish.
I don't consider myself a hoarder, however over the years I have hung on to many sentimental things that have begun to stack up.
Here are some of the things I chose to dispose of:
Old letters from my early to late teens (ie before email)
I began reading them, but at some point I had to stop. They were cringey and embarrasing. I decided they were not really for anyone elses viewing and although they did refresh the memory and the past events, I decided that there was no value keeping them all. My memory of the events was already good and the details, were really not required to rehash!
Clearly some of the letters I held onto, including letters from my mum and my Great Uncle, some cards with poems from my creative friends. But by and large, they were recycled. Bye bye!
One bunch I did keep, were the ones from my now-husband, these were truly beautiful. We really were in love.
My old diaires
Boy did I write a lot in my youth.
I started as of the age of 13, and wrote daily in a diary til my mid twenties. Its no wonder I became I blogger.
These I re read, but yet will destroy, as they serve no value to others.
The insights I got were as follows:
As a teenager I was always saying I was "bored". School was most defintely documented as "boring"
Although I wrote a lot, I documented events rather than feelings
I was always with friends
I overthought stuff
I was always falling out with my friends
I had way too much fun at college (its a wonder I ever graduated give all the parties)
I went to Sunday School and Girl Guides religiously
So are you holding on to this kind of stuff?
Do you think I was brutal, getting rid of it all?
Should I do the same with my photos?
Let me know,
BBB xx
I don't consider myself a hoarder, however over the years I have hung on to many sentimental things that have begun to stack up.
Here are some of the things I chose to dispose of:
Old letters from my early to late teens (ie before email)
I began reading them, but at some point I had to stop. They were cringey and embarrasing. I decided they were not really for anyone elses viewing and although they did refresh the memory and the past events, I decided that there was no value keeping them all. My memory of the events was already good and the details, were really not required to rehash!
Clearly some of the letters I held onto, including letters from my mum and my Great Uncle, some cards with poems from my creative friends. But by and large, they were recycled. Bye bye!
One bunch I did keep, were the ones from my now-husband, these were truly beautiful. We really were in love.
My old diaires
Boy did I write a lot in my youth.
I started as of the age of 13, and wrote daily in a diary til my mid twenties. Its no wonder I became I blogger.
These I re read, but yet will destroy, as they serve no value to others.
The insights I got were as follows:
As a teenager I was always saying I was "bored". School was most defintely documented as "boring"
Although I wrote a lot, I documented events rather than feelings
I was always with friends
I overthought stuff
I was always falling out with my friends
I had way too much fun at college (its a wonder I ever graduated give all the parties)
I went to Sunday School and Girl Guides religiously
So are you holding on to this kind of stuff?
Do you think I was brutal, getting rid of it all?
Should I do the same with my photos?
Let me know,
BBB xx
I just whipped it off
I just whipped it off
I knew it was a safe place.
I don't think there is a safer place in the world.
It is the London Underground.
Millions of people in a rush to get somewhere, anywhere but where they are right now.
The underground hosts an eclectic mix of people. Nationalities. Races. Religions. Interests. Careers. Rich. Poor. It all goes on. In one place. Together. In silence.
Also there is a kind of protocol where you don't stare. So many people look different, odd and strange. That staring is neither of interest or socially permitted.
So I whipped off my wig in a moment of madness and strode down the stairs, the escalators and stood on the platform. Bold, bald and beautiful. Alone and confident.
I made a decision to be proud. To hold my head up high and strode with purpose through the labyrinth.
I was scared. I was nervous. I was conscious. I was alive.
As I got a little more comfortable, I stopped focussing on me and how I was feeling and decided to look around. And here is the most interesting part.
No one was looking at me.
No one was interested.
No one was staring
No one was remotely curious .
Of course there was the odd prolonged glance but even that was short and polite.
No one looked bothered.
No one cared.
I felt like shouting "Hello everyone I am bald, why are you not staring at me????"
I could not fathom that I was a non event for all these city commuters.
I was underwhelmed by the response yet overwhelmed by it.
They were more interested in the local newspaper, their phones or the announcements about the doors closing.
I did it for over 30 minutes.
It was my first public outing and I was viewed by hundreds.
I am not sure what it all meant and what it now means.
But I know I had to do it.
And today was the day.
I knew it was a safe place.
I don't think there is a safer place in the world.
It is the London Underground.
Millions of people in a rush to get somewhere, anywhere but where they are right now.
The underground hosts an eclectic mix of people. Nationalities. Races. Religions. Interests. Careers. Rich. Poor. It all goes on. In one place. Together. In silence.
Also there is a kind of protocol where you don't stare. So many people look different, odd and strange. That staring is neither of interest or socially permitted.
So I whipped off my wig in a moment of madness and strode down the stairs, the escalators and stood on the platform. Bold, bald and beautiful. Alone and confident.
I made a decision to be proud. To hold my head up high and strode with purpose through the labyrinth.
I was scared. I was nervous. I was conscious. I was alive.
As I got a little more comfortable, I stopped focussing on me and how I was feeling and decided to look around. And here is the most interesting part.
No one was looking at me.
No one was interested.
No one was staring
No one was remotely curious .
Of course there was the odd prolonged glance but even that was short and polite.
No one looked bothered.
No one cared.
I felt like shouting "Hello everyone I am bald, why are you not staring at me????"
I could not fathom that I was a non event for all these city commuters.
I was underwhelmed by the response yet overwhelmed by it.
They were more interested in the local newspaper, their phones or the announcements about the doors closing.
I did it for over 30 minutes.
It was my first public outing and I was viewed by hundreds.
I am not sure what it all meant and what it now means.
But I know I had to do it.
And today was the day.
I want to go public
Whilst daydreaming on a plane today, I decided that I want to go public with my alopecia. Not just now and again, going bald in a new place. But a story in a magazine, with photos with me doing my daily life, working, cycling, hanging out.
A photo shoot. Bald and beautiful. Most definitely bold.
Problem is. I have not got a clue how to begin on this journey.
Is it time to ask for help?
A photo shoot. Bald and beautiful. Most definitely bold.
Problem is. I have not got a clue how to begin on this journey.
Is it time to ask for help?
Raw and laid out
There are some people, where laying it all out is just perfect.
The good, the bad and the downright ugly. Laid out and raw.
It is so liberating to lay it all out, tell it how it is and hide nothing.
In the past, I may have hidden some of the bad stuff. Why I don't know.
Maybe to protect my ego? Maybe I couldn't find the words? Maybe to live in denial? Maybe to have an easier life? Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But now, I am enjoying just laying it out. Seems wrong not to.
I am not talking about displaying my emotions for all to see, but what's wrong with being brutally honest with those good people around me?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
The good, the bad and the downright ugly. Laid out and raw.
It is so liberating to lay it all out, tell it how it is and hide nothing.
In the past, I may have hidden some of the bad stuff. Why I don't know.
Maybe to protect my ego? Maybe I couldn't find the words? Maybe to live in denial? Maybe to have an easier life? Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But now, I am enjoying just laying it out. Seems wrong not to.
I am not talking about displaying my emotions for all to see, but what's wrong with being brutally honest with those good people around me?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Encouraging teens to think differently
Recently I was invited to speak to a group of school kids. Their age was mid to late teens.
As I was invited based on my profession and experiences, I chose the subject of "career paths and choices" to spend my hour with them.
I really got into preparing. I asked myself lots of questions.
What was it I wanted to leave them with?
What did I want to trigger in them?
What did I want them to think differently about, as a consequence to listening to me?
Did I want them to be involved in the conversation?
Did I want to give them tools, handouts, for them to refer back to?
Did I want to be cool or professional? Funny or serious?
I decided on my approach and and planned that I would teach them the following:
How to prepare for an interview
What possibilities are there for jobs
Why is travel important for our horizons
What experiences teach us
I met with the teacher (for really yummy sushi) a week before the big day, to align on the topics, the approach, the students and to ensure I was ready and had his support.
I was nervous, this was not my comfort zone, but I was excited, as I really like the idea of influencing young minds and offering them different perspectives.
The day came and it went well, the students got stuck in, really offered insights, thinking, challenges, they asked me unusual questions, some even stumping me. It was fantastic.
I asked the teacher a few weeks later to follow up with the class and ask me what they remembered and what they took away.
I was thrilled to hear that many of them thought differently as a result of the discussion. Some had decided to find Summer jobs and experience new things before going into the family business. Others had decided to travel and others just enjoyed the perspectives, before they make bigger decisions. (Hope their parents don't come looking for me!!!!!)
Most of all, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed sharing my thoughts and passions with these young and impressionable teens.
As a result, I think I realised how much I would like to do more of this kind of thing. I came out with a ton of energy and many ideas on how I could do things differently. I came out with a kind of purpose and satisfaction. Wonderful!!
Do you know what gives you satisfaction and meaning?
If you have worked this out, are you able to find ways to do this in your every day life?
As I was invited based on my profession and experiences, I chose the subject of "career paths and choices" to spend my hour with them.
I really got into preparing. I asked myself lots of questions.
What was it I wanted to leave them with?
What did I want to trigger in them?
What did I want them to think differently about, as a consequence to listening to me?
Did I want them to be involved in the conversation?
Did I want to give them tools, handouts, for them to refer back to?
Did I want to be cool or professional? Funny or serious?
I decided on my approach and and planned that I would teach them the following:
How to prepare for an interview
What possibilities are there for jobs
Why is travel important for our horizons
What experiences teach us
I met with the teacher (for really yummy sushi) a week before the big day, to align on the topics, the approach, the students and to ensure I was ready and had his support.
I was nervous, this was not my comfort zone, but I was excited, as I really like the idea of influencing young minds and offering them different perspectives.
The day came and it went well, the students got stuck in, really offered insights, thinking, challenges, they asked me unusual questions, some even stumping me. It was fantastic.
I asked the teacher a few weeks later to follow up with the class and ask me what they remembered and what they took away.
I was thrilled to hear that many of them thought differently as a result of the discussion. Some had decided to find Summer jobs and experience new things before going into the family business. Others had decided to travel and others just enjoyed the perspectives, before they make bigger decisions. (Hope their parents don't come looking for me!!!!!)
Most of all, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed sharing my thoughts and passions with these young and impressionable teens.
As a result, I think I realised how much I would like to do more of this kind of thing. I came out with a ton of energy and many ideas on how I could do things differently. I came out with a kind of purpose and satisfaction. Wonderful!!
Do you know what gives you satisfaction and meaning?
If you have worked this out, are you able to find ways to do this in your every day life?
A simple question
I heard it recently on the radio and I really liked it.
It was a question to the audience.
It went like this.
What would you do, if you were not afraid?
I am still thinking about it.
Do you know what you would do?
Why not go and ask a colleague or a friend and strike up a good conversation. Let me know what surfaces.
I think mine would be going to work without my hair on!
It was a question to the audience.
It went like this.
What would you do, if you were not afraid?
I am still thinking about it.
Do you know what you would do?
Why not go and ask a colleague or a friend and strike up a good conversation. Let me know what surfaces.
I think mine would be going to work without my hair on!
Washing my hair
I have to find a way to squeeze in washing my hair, as it takes a period of about 10 hours to wash and dry. Remember it has to dry naturally. See my lessons on looking after a wig post.
So its not just a case of: "Ooo, I had better wash my hair before I go out." This does not work. I once tried putting on a wet wig, which had actually been drying for a few hours, and it was disgusting. Imagine wearing a flannel on your head with an elastic band holding it on. Not pleasant I tell you. So the lesson learned was, to ensure I have enough time to wash and DRY my wig.
Anyway back to my story, a few weekends ago, I had a friend coming over at 11.30 for a few hours and then a bit later an overnight guest coming at 5. It was also a Sunday and I wanted my hair washed and ready for work tomorrow.
What to do!??
I decided to wash it at that moment. I am a relatively spontaneous person and here and now seemed like the best time. Yet I knew it would not be dry for my guests. Now, to give you context, these were friends who I hadn't see for many years. Namely before I got alopecia. So this was not as straightforward as you may think. However my gut said, wear your hats. I am anyway most comfortable in them.
So that is what I did. No discussion, no worrying, just hat wearing.
Neither of my friends commented on the hats, but one of them clearly felt they could adress my alopecia head on, which is of course wonderful.
So it is in these moments I always have to make a decision. Expose myself amd declare my baldness publicly or pretend it doesn't exist and hide it with a wig.
I have chosen my path and it feels just fine.
So its not just a case of: "Ooo, I had better wash my hair before I go out." This does not work. I once tried putting on a wet wig, which had actually been drying for a few hours, and it was disgusting. Imagine wearing a flannel on your head with an elastic band holding it on. Not pleasant I tell you. So the lesson learned was, to ensure I have enough time to wash and DRY my wig.
Anyway back to my story, a few weekends ago, I had a friend coming over at 11.30 for a few hours and then a bit later an overnight guest coming at 5. It was also a Sunday and I wanted my hair washed and ready for work tomorrow.
What to do!??
I decided to wash it at that moment. I am a relatively spontaneous person and here and now seemed like the best time. Yet I knew it would not be dry for my guests. Now, to give you context, these were friends who I hadn't see for many years. Namely before I got alopecia. So this was not as straightforward as you may think. However my gut said, wear your hats. I am anyway most comfortable in them.
So that is what I did. No discussion, no worrying, just hat wearing.
Neither of my friends commented on the hats, but one of them clearly felt they could adress my alopecia head on, which is of course wonderful.
So it is in these moments I always have to make a decision. Expose myself amd declare my baldness publicly or pretend it doesn't exist and hide it with a wig.
I have chosen my path and it feels just fine.
One year of blogging
Before I became a blogger, I did a bit of homework. Not much, just a bit. I checked out other peoples' blog sites, I spoke to a few bloggers about what works for them, in terms of style, frequency etc and talked to a whole lot of people.
I spoke to friends about ideas and insights and I spoke to family about how they would feel about me doing this. Specifically about going public with my baldness!
Everyone was supportive, many urged caution in terms of keeping privacy and separate from work. But all said go for it.
My intention was to do it for six months and see how it goes. My aim was to write about alopecia every week, every Friday as it turned out. The rest, well, I left open.
After the launch at the end of May 2012, a year this week, I found my rhythm. Three blogs a week. One usually reflective, one a bit more random and silly and the third about alopecia.
It was an easy rhythm to maintain and the content just emerged. I thought I would run out of (lack of) hair blogs, but somehow the content kept flowing. I never dreamt that there was so much about Alopecia to tell you all about.
There were however three blogs that I had to tear out of myself. They were so difficult to write, really painful and they actually took me weeks of thinking. Accompanied with a whole lot of energy to put this story into words. These blogs were "My story". Raw and until then, a story, that had not been told.
(Hyperlinked if you want to read them again.)
Part One - The Discovery
Part Two - The Tradtional Treatments
Part Three - The Non-tradtional Treatments
As I write this, I realise Part Four is still not told. Part Four - The solutions.
The ones that got, and still do get, the most attention and laughs are:
Tupperware Being an average mother As I turn 40 Best Marigold Hotel
My personal two favourites are:
The contamination of experience and If you were wine
It seems these resonated with people and made them think a little bit different about themselves and life. This makes me feel really good!
However different blogs appealed differently to different people. Your comments, which I love, tell me that.
I have now over 200 readers a week from all over the globe. My biggest following is the USA, yet I only know who two of you are!!!!
India, China, Russia make frequent appearances, as do my loyal and many readers in UK, Canada and Switzerland. Thank you for keeping on coming back! Many of you subscribe, others just pop in when they feel like it. Clearly I dont know "who" any of the statistics are, but I know I am read. That feels fantastic!
So a year on, I can say I am proud and pleased with where my blog has gotten to. I have even been published. Alopecia Matters. This poem is now featured in a book. That was an unexpected acheivement!
The journey continues, and thanks to you all for your comments, both on and off the blog, and to my "Pathfinder", for encouraging me to become a blogger in the first place. She saw something in me, I didn't know was there. Thanks for keeping the faith. To you I raise a glass of milk!!
Here's to the future, wherever it may go!!
I spoke to friends about ideas and insights and I spoke to family about how they would feel about me doing this. Specifically about going public with my baldness!
Everyone was supportive, many urged caution in terms of keeping privacy and separate from work. But all said go for it.
My intention was to do it for six months and see how it goes. My aim was to write about alopecia every week, every Friday as it turned out. The rest, well, I left open.
After the launch at the end of May 2012, a year this week, I found my rhythm. Three blogs a week. One usually reflective, one a bit more random and silly and the third about alopecia.
It was an easy rhythm to maintain and the content just emerged. I thought I would run out of (lack of) hair blogs, but somehow the content kept flowing. I never dreamt that there was so much about Alopecia to tell you all about.
There were however three blogs that I had to tear out of myself. They were so difficult to write, really painful and they actually took me weeks of thinking. Accompanied with a whole lot of energy to put this story into words. These blogs were "My story". Raw and until then, a story, that had not been told.
(Hyperlinked if you want to read them again.)
Part One - The Discovery
Part Two - The Tradtional Treatments
Part Three - The Non-tradtional Treatments
As I write this, I realise Part Four is still not told. Part Four - The solutions.
The ones that got, and still do get, the most attention and laughs are:
Tupperware Being an average mother As I turn 40 Best Marigold Hotel
My personal two favourites are:
The contamination of experience and If you were wine
It seems these resonated with people and made them think a little bit different about themselves and life. This makes me feel really good!
However different blogs appealed differently to different people. Your comments, which I love, tell me that.
I have now over 200 readers a week from all over the globe. My biggest following is the USA, yet I only know who two of you are!!!!
India, China, Russia make frequent appearances, as do my loyal and many readers in UK, Canada and Switzerland. Thank you for keeping on coming back! Many of you subscribe, others just pop in when they feel like it. Clearly I dont know "who" any of the statistics are, but I know I am read. That feels fantastic!
So a year on, I can say I am proud and pleased with where my blog has gotten to. I have even been published. Alopecia Matters. This poem is now featured in a book. That was an unexpected acheivement!
The journey continues, and thanks to you all for your comments, both on and off the blog, and to my "Pathfinder", for encouraging me to become a blogger in the first place. She saw something in me, I didn't know was there. Thanks for keeping the faith. To you I raise a glass of milk!!
Here's to the future, wherever it may go!!
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