Through our many country moves, we have left much loved people behind. Time and time again, we have had to say good bye and hug our friends so tightly, not knowing when we will meet again. Knowing the relationship is about to change.
How it will change is not known, will the friendship get deeper, will we drift apart, will we become phone buddies, will texting replace the face to face catch ups, will we just move on and treasure the memories. It is impossible to know.
It doesn't get any easier. But I suppose we have experience on the reality and likelihood of the friendship lasting decades. The great news: Many of the friendships last.
How the interactions occur, changes of course. One particular friend, my sage, was someone I saw a few times a week for many years. We played sport together and hung out with the same crowd.
Then she moved away.
We were very close and we needed each others wisdom, so we both knew we would not lose touch permanently.
But the "how" we were friends did change. We didn't plan it, but over a short period of time, two traditions emerged. And over time these have become engrained and ritualized.
Tradition one
Every time I am at an airport and have time before I board, I call my friend. She always asks where I am, and laughs when I tell her that I am at the airport. We have great, short chats. Intense and heartwarming.
Tradition two
She always gives me practical presents. Wooden spoon holders, wooden trinket box, a paperweight, boots, great books etc. so every time I use these objects I think of her and smile.
She is everywhere in my house, in every room.
No it's not the same. But it's special and we live on for each other.
So as we get ready for our next big move, I know we will be heartbroken one more time, we will once again question, why the hell we do what we do, but I am also excited to think about how we will keep our friendships going. What new experiences lie ahead. And what fun is still to be shared with these fabulous people.
Who knows what new traditions will emerge and become ritualized?
So as the darkness of leaving comes upon us, I recall a lovely quote which reminds me what it is really all about.
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
Look where you are going
I had the sheer pleasure of being part of an amazing team building experience recently. (Have I told you that I work for an amazing company??)
Anyway, there were a range of activities all targeted at a particular learning experience. After each activity we debriefed on what we had learned and how it applied back into our professional lives.
Each person experienced each activity differently and the impact varied.
However one particular experience only began resonating with me a week later. It was fun at the time, but I had not understood its impact.
The exercise was about driving on ice. We were on a race track with pretty fast and powerful cars and we had to get round the circuit as quickly as we could. As said the track was solid ice.
We had to learn to over steer and under steer, how to use the brakes and when to accelerate. We had co pilots who encouraged and offered tips. We had radios to communicate when we span out of control, frequently in my case, and we had specific terminology to communicate quickly and effectively.
The advice we were given, was to always focus on the path ahead. Look where you want to go and not where the car is taking you.
This was impossible for me at the beginning as I could only look where the car was going, ie into the snow banks, but whenever I looked onto the path ahead, somehow I got back on track.
And this is so true.
When things go wrong and go off on an unexpected tangent, we should always look where we want to go and get back on track. Often we find ourselves looking where the problems are and continuing on in that direction. Possibly getting ourselves deeper into the issues.
Driving on ice was surprisingly possible, despite being thrown about all the time and spinning regularly. It was always possible to get back on the track, by seeking out the path ahead.
Today when I was cross country skiing, I fell. This was no big deal, but all the same I fell. It was an ungroomed path and I was concentrating on, and looking at, the ungroomed path beneath my skis. I fell mid way down the slope.
The next time this happened, I said to myself, focus on the path ahead, keep your eyes up and look to where you want to go. I swear I did not fall. I did not even wobble. I knew where I wanted to go and remained focussed on that during the 15 second descent.
So today's post, is dedicated to all of you who are stuck in a rut and can't find a way out. I say life is like driving on ice, focus on the path ahead, and somehow your wheels will turn and you will find a way out.
This may sound overly simplistic, but I believe in it.
Maybe knowing the path ahead is the hardest thing of all, so make sure you really know where it is that you are going. Once you know that and keep looking at it, you will get there. Of that I am sure.
Anyway, there were a range of activities all targeted at a particular learning experience. After each activity we debriefed on what we had learned and how it applied back into our professional lives.
Each person experienced each activity differently and the impact varied.
However one particular experience only began resonating with me a week later. It was fun at the time, but I had not understood its impact.
The exercise was about driving on ice. We were on a race track with pretty fast and powerful cars and we had to get round the circuit as quickly as we could. As said the track was solid ice.
We had to learn to over steer and under steer, how to use the brakes and when to accelerate. We had co pilots who encouraged and offered tips. We had radios to communicate when we span out of control, frequently in my case, and we had specific terminology to communicate quickly and effectively.
The advice we were given, was to always focus on the path ahead. Look where you want to go and not where the car is taking you.
This was impossible for me at the beginning as I could only look where the car was going, ie into the snow banks, but whenever I looked onto the path ahead, somehow I got back on track.
And this is so true.
When things go wrong and go off on an unexpected tangent, we should always look where we want to go and get back on track. Often we find ourselves looking where the problems are and continuing on in that direction. Possibly getting ourselves deeper into the issues.
Driving on ice was surprisingly possible, despite being thrown about all the time and spinning regularly. It was always possible to get back on the track, by seeking out the path ahead.
Today when I was cross country skiing, I fell. This was no big deal, but all the same I fell. It was an ungroomed path and I was concentrating on, and looking at, the ungroomed path beneath my skis. I fell mid way down the slope.
The next time this happened, I said to myself, focus on the path ahead, keep your eyes up and look to where you want to go. I swear I did not fall. I did not even wobble. I knew where I wanted to go and remained focussed on that during the 15 second descent.
So today's post, is dedicated to all of you who are stuck in a rut and can't find a way out. I say life is like driving on ice, focus on the path ahead, and somehow your wheels will turn and you will find a way out.
This may sound overly simplistic, but I believe in it.
Maybe knowing the path ahead is the hardest thing of all, so make sure you really know where it is that you are going. Once you know that and keep looking at it, you will get there. Of that I am sure.
Frozen lashes
She looked so beautiful, just standing there. We had been snowshoeing at minus 30 at 9pm.
It was cold and dark. Yet the brisk walk had kept us warm and our jackets had kept the cold out.
It was really cold however.
As we came in to chat and share a hot chocolate, I looked around and saw all the red cheeks. Healthy and happy faces.
As I glanced again, I saw ice crystals at the end of her eyelashes, they looked amazing. Glistening like diamonds. Shining like stars. They made her look beautiful.
It was cold and dark. Yet the brisk walk had kept us warm and our jackets had kept the cold out.
It was really cold however.
As we came in to chat and share a hot chocolate, I looked around and saw all the red cheeks. Healthy and happy faces.
As I glanced again, I saw ice crystals at the end of her eyelashes, they looked amazing. Glistening like diamonds. Shining like stars. They made her look beautiful.
For a moment, I wished I had frozen lashes.
I bet no one else noticed them, but I did and I was happy to find beauty where others don't.
Beautiful soft icicles, dancing and sparkling in the dark.
They were balancing at the tips of fine hair, almost as if they shouldn't be.
Pure natural beauty.
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