"What are they?" she asked
Last night I was at the park, when one of my little neighbours came over and said, "What are those things, those things on your face?" she had the cutest little smile and a radiant little face. It was such an obvious question for her, this lively five year old. At first I had no idea what she was referring to, then she pointed at my eyebrows.....my tattooed eyebrows! Aha I said, you mean my eyebrows, yes she said. What are they?
I explained very plainly that they were my eyebrows and as I did not have any hair, like she did, I had to paint them on. Like face paint but a bit more permanent. Oh she said, satisfied with the answer and off she went kicking her ball. Conversation over.
Question answered. Curiosity satiated.
And that was it, a simple question and a simple answer. An adult may have also have wondered about them, maybe with a little more understanding of what they were, but then again maybe not. Were they permanent, do they rub off, did they hurt. But the difference is significant, an adult would never have asked.
So as I sign off with todays post, may I leave with you with two thoughts.
1. Let your child ask such questions, through this they learn and probably acknowledge other peoples imperfections.
2. Revert back to being a child and try asking a question that pops into your head, you may be surprised what it does to you and to the respondent.
Let me know how it goes?
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When you have a friend with Alopecia it's deeply upsetting. Not because it affects your view of them, but because you know they're going through such a painful experience and it's heartbreaking! It did change my view of my friend actually-massively. But it changed it in such a positive way, as the strength she showed and the proactive approach she took to this new situation made her look outwardly, and inwardly, even more beautiful and wonderful than she had ever done before. I've explained to my daughter about her condition. You know what, she doesn't care! it doesn't change her view of her one bit. It is what it is. So she wears wigs? My daughter has a rapunzel one- she loves it!! But I told my daughter the whole story and about how it was upsetting for my friend initially. She's five my little girl. She came back much later after we'd discussed it (She's known since it started but I'd never told her how it made my mate feel) and she asked if I'd send her a text from her. So here's what she text.. "Try not to think of the bad things when you did have hair and be happy. Think of the happy things when you go to bed, dream you're not on your own and other people don't have any hair. And think why you shouldn't be lonely anymore." (her exact words..you get the idea!!). Children say it as it is. Ultimately, it's very comforting knowing others are in the same boat. Comforting knowing others get on with it- and do it so well! And comforting knowing that the most honest of people (5 year old kids) recognise that it's ok and as our harshest judges tell us it's really ok and not a big deal!
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