Missing out

Work has taken a big place in my life of late. I have always enjoyed my job and given it a lot of time and energy, but I have often consciously chosen to prioritize other things like friends, family and gym. For me there was always a place for everything. However recently work has moved up the ranking. It was without intent at first, and now I can say I am aware of its priority and have accepted it.

A few months ago I blogged about how I believe we can only have three things on the go at the same time, and I believe once again I am finding this to be true. And right now, work seems to be at the top (and I think place 2 and 3 go to sleep and food!)

Whilst this is conscious, I can’t help feeling a little sadness. A little regret.

I am missing out on nights out with friends that I cherish, I am missing out on dinners with close friends, I am missing out on hearing about my daughter school trip, I am missing out on weekends away with friends as I prefer to have a quieter time at home and I am not keeping in touch with people the way I like to.

For me this is a choice right now, but I know it is not sustainable. After a few weeks of this, I am already feeling the exhaustion. Being so focused on work and driving for results is taking a toll on me.

That said I am consciously choosing this for a few more weeks. Why you may ask. Well its simple. I am finding meaning in my work. I am finding that my skills are the right ones right now to help the organization I work for. I am getting feedback and recognition that I am a catalyst for the needed change and most of all I am enjoying it so very much.

Yet I am not a workaholic. I am not someone who believes I can have it all. I am consciously chosing.
So a mammoth world trip to 5 locations including China and Spain in 5 weeks and a whole load of “Sorry I wont make it” emails.

I still can’t say it’s all worth it, but you know, I feel I am making a good choice.

My work matters. My work is making an impact.

So for now, no apologies but know that I miss you all and I will be back to socializing (and hopefully more frequent blogging) in mid May sometime.

Does inspiration matter?

I noticed a lack of inspiration in a meeting agenda we were putting together, and I tried to influence this. Not an easy task. I was confronted with questions that I had not set out to answer, however the challenges I received really made me think. 

Why does inspiration matte? , I was asked. I think it was a provacative question rather than a real one but still.

Really? What? Why does it matter? Duh! It matters because it does.

My thoughts really went to “Does this question really need answering?”: Yet the answer of YES INSPIRATION MATTERS BECAUSE……….. pause, silence, the answer did not roll off my tongue. The answer was hidden inside me, but I struggled putting words to it, in the first few seconds of being asked. I knew it to be true, but more from a gut feel than a data driven reason.

So I decided to take a few moments to ponder this one, take a day or two to mull it over.

I could not be more convinced that inspiration in the workplace matters, yet why?

So I began by thinking of what inspiration is and what it is all about.

I decided that it was the difference between what we know of the world around us and what we suddenly see as new possibilities. The bit in between is where inspiration happens, where inspiration plays a role. The inspiration is what accesses in you the thinking that a different future is possible, a different and better future than the one you saw before.

Inspiration awakens new possibilities by allowing us to go above and beyond (transcend) our ordinary experiences and limitations. Inspiration allows us to see our own capabilities differently, and those capabilities of others.

Inspiration technically also means to breathe in. This is also very linked to the concept. That one deep breathe of reflection and pause.

Based on this, inspiration has to be a worthy emotion with multiple reasons to inject this into a meeting. Who wouldn’t want all this in the room?

Yet inspiration is not something you find when you look for it. I believe you find it when you are open to new ideas and new ways of thinking, it happens when you are open to learn, but not when you are sitting there waiting to be inspired.

Inspiration comes in many forms, a book, a conversation, a behaviour, an experience, a view point, a landscape. So anything can inspire and so can anyone. I would assert that more often it comes from those you least expect it. Children are an amazing source of inspiration for example. (However if you are anything like me, you have to take a break from the nagging to see it :-) )

Also let’s not forget that feeling inspired is a wonderful feeling, it is a positive emotion and one that is contagious. Who doesn’t want to work for an inspirational leader?

Finally and very importantly I believe we would all enjoy the compliment of, “Did you hear what he/she said, how inspiring is that!”
Surely we would all enjoy being recognized as being that person.

So here are the 3 things I will report back out, based on my own thoughts and not on any Harvard reviews or the like:

Inspiration matters because:

1. Inspiration allows you to go beyond the ordinary
2. Inspiration generates positivity
3. Inspiration creates followership

And all of these are linked to better business results.

What did I miss? Does inspiration matter? Have you been inspired today? Is this an untapped into capability?

Do tell…….

25 mins of stuck

On a beautiful sunny day, we were heading up the mountan on a ski gondola. The summit of 3100m awaited us.   However as luck would have it, the gondola stopped midway. We were left hovering over a very long drop onto a glacier.  For the first few minutes, the mood was normal, it was oh well, it will get going in a minute and conversations continued.

Five minutes in to the experience, voices got quieter, there was more whispering and coats were being removed. There was a heat in the cabin due to the roaring sunshine and only one small opening to let in the air. It was getting hot and uncomfortbale.

Luckily as it was the end of the ski season the cabin was not packed full of people, but as the minutes ticked by, the space got smaller and the breathing took up more space. Thank goodness the gondola was not full!

After 10 minutes of waiting with no understanding of what was going on, couples and friends started telling stories of other people they knew who had been in similar situations and that the wait had been over 4 hours!! Despite the stories being in French, German, Italian or English, we all understood that stuff like this happens and its not always with happy endings.

With the passing minutes, the mood was plummeting and there was no sign, no movement and no way of knowing what was happening. More items of clothing were being removed and it was now 15 minutes into the hanging.

The friends I was with were also starting to mildy panic. Quietness was around.

At this point, one person called someone to find out more. Miracuously they got through and spoke to the right person immediately.  They were informed that in 5 minutes the problem would be solved and we would be on our way. Everyone was listening in.

There was a communal sigh of relief.

The sense of security spread through the space and we all became jovial again, we had made contact and the problem was being sorted.  

However the wicked voice in my head was considereing whether they just saying that to console us? Did they really know what the problem was?

Once the 5 minutes were gone, we really did wonder and we got quieter.

Time seemed to slow down and faces seemed to get more stern. A few folks were breathing heavier and getting nervous.  What needed to be done next? A communal hug? A team buidling session? Another phone call? Smash a window?

and breathe...........

However 10 minutes later after many questions had been perculating in the mind, the gondola began to move. The sighs and the breathing were intense. Phew.

We were on our way. On arrival to the summit - 3100m - we were told of the problem and that it was routine. A tire had burst and needed to be replaced. Simple and routine.

Many things had been in our favour, but one thing that really could have been better was the communication. There would have been a way to broadcast the issue to all cabins as speakers were installed, yet this had not been done.

As a consequence we had all began building our own stories and dramas, and as it turned out, it was just a 25 minute wait for a routine problem.

So my reflection is, do we spot these opportunities to communicate the message? Should we be consciously doing more of this, to remove fear and dread?

Anyway we had a great day skiing and a pause for reflection!

A good "to do" list

I love a good list.

So does my sister, who adds things on, just so she can cross them off again.

But writing a list, does keep my thoughts together and I believe keeps my stress levels in tow.

However the book I am reading, suggests that we should stop creating the "To do" lists and instead, start writing "To be" lists.

Now that does make me stop and think.

What on earth would I write?

Be calm

Be bold

Be beautiful

Be kind

Be generous

So if you were to start writing things on your "To be" list, what would they be?

Sheer happiness

In the three years I have been blogging, I dont know if I have had one called "happiness". It is possible but I am not sure.

Even if I have had one, I want to name this one "happiness" 

Honestly my heart could explode with the emotions that I feel today.

For those of you who know me, you will understand.

As context, for whatever reason, I carry the burden of the family's health on my shoulders. It weighs heavy. Its not that we are stricken with health issues, but the ones we do have I carry with a heavy load. It's my thing.

One of those is the well-being of my eldest daughter. She has some mild things going on, which impact her ability to learn and socialise. As a consequence, she does not have a lot of friends.

In fact, as parents, our hearts have been broken a number of times on this issue.

Today, those broken hearts were repaired and even inflated. 

Today she turned 12. For her birthday she invited one person for a sleepover. It was risky, but a risk we were all up for. Now all I can see is that this was one of the best decisions we could have taken.

They built up a tent, chatted til midnight and were up at 7 doing more of the same. They laughed over a movie, went bowling and were given 20 francs for lunch at McDonalds which they were allowed to get themselves. They hung out in the garden and tickled each other, whilst splitting their sides laughing. They visited their friends mum and brought her letters and flowers and best of all, they decided that the sleepover would go on for another night!!!

They are off playing badminton as I type and the day is not over yet.....we have sausages on the open fire, nail varnish and smoothies at 4 and another movie to come!

 

My hubbie and I have been in awe of their beauty today. In awe of our daughter being happy. In peace at our daughter having fun. It has been a moment for us both. Such a wondeful day.

Her birthday has been so simple. Yet so magical.

My heart is so full of emotion and I am so greatful for this day.

Good Friday is a religious day on the calendar. I won't try to draw any paralells, but for us this day now has a new meaning and a new memory.

(oh and yes I get to eat meat and chocolate very soon too!!!!!!)

Exposing the bald bits

Each time I get a little braver in the changing rooms. You see having alopecia, or should I say, being bald, in public changing rooms is hard.

I live in a country, where people have no problem with nudity. People prance around changing rooms butt naked and even hold conversations whilst standing and facing you with absolutely nothing on. I tell you, I sometimes really don't know where to look.

Despite years of being out of the UK, I still hold on to my prudish tendencies and cover myself up only revealing what I have to.  So having a bald head is also like showing my bum, namely I don't do it. (Yes for those of you who know me for MANY years, I have been known to do this whilst a little inebriatated!)

However whilst quickly getting changed into gym clothes and later on out of them, it is my personal challenge not to bare the head. As a reminder I don't wear my hair in the gym, as it is very hot and uncomfortable, instead I wear a little fleece cap, which does the trick perfectly. 

A few years ago, I would have gone to lengths to hide my baldness and gotten changed in a place of complete privacy, yet over the years of changing in the gym, I have migrated to being swift and efficient, and staying in the main public space. (Note there are no cubicals in my gym)

However I am the ever practial gal, and if any hiding or cover up, takes time and effort, I am gradually shifting to the mode of just getting the job done.

So nowadays, I even find myself walking from the shower to my locker spot, often without my hat on. I often dry my head and leave it exposed whilst I put on my clothes.

I am very quick to do all this, as I do feel very awkward and odd in these moments, however I am moving towards acceptance and none humiliation.

In short it is starting to become like my other private parts of the body, you just keep them to yourself, but if for a short time they are exposed, you just get on with it and focus on the task.

I tell you, this is progress. It only took 10 years!