There is a perfume called "Beauty". As you may have picked up, "Beauty" is one of my favourite words. I like to see beauty in people . I look for beauty in the world. I find beauty whenever I look (well maybe not at the airport X ray machines!). And if I don't see it, I look again. It's always there.
So when I saw the perfume on the shelf, I felt compelled to try it. I desperately wanted to like it."Beauty". It's kind of like a promise the product is making. Who doesnt get lured in by that promise? Who doesn't want that?
As a rule, I don’t wear perfume, I tend to go for natural smells. I don’t mean sweat or pee, but you know what I mean, natural and light fragrances. Perfumes are often laced with a strong alcohol smell that I find overwhelming, so I tend to steer clear.
So I sauntered over to the glitzy counter and took a squirt.
I am wearing it now, and I have to say I rather like it.
Do any of you know it? Any of you wear it? What do you think?
If any of you are out at the weekend, pop by the counter and have a whiff. Let me know.
As I sit here now, I am liking it, yet I am trying to distinguish between wanting to like it and really liking it.
I will let you know.
This is a tough one and my brain might just be playing tricks on me!
After the gym
You may have picked up from some recent posts, that I am currently going to the gym a lot. It is a great way to alleviate, much of the frustration that I am currently experiencing, due to my move.
Well today, I had the luxury, of going to the gym with a buddy.
We went to a crazy kick boxing class, one that is coordinated to dance. It was particularly entertaining. Lots of kicking, punching and sweating. Don't think I have ever done a class to Metallica before!
The class was during lunch, so afterwards is a quick shower and rush back to your desk, whilst hoping the red face recovers quickly. Its a mad dash, but a great way to spend your lunch hour.
Today after the shower, I had an alopecia moment. One that was highly amusing.
My friend was all showered and dressed but had soaking wet hair. She was running late and was not yet ready to get going.
It was then that I turned around, after putting my wig on and said, "I bet you wish you had alopecia, it would save you time and your hair would always look this good."
She clearly found this amusing and we both laughed out loud. A silly moment, Full of truth.
It's great to have fun with being bald and even better, making people feel jealous and wish they had it, even for a few seconds!!
Well today, I had the luxury, of going to the gym with a buddy.
We went to a crazy kick boxing class, one that is coordinated to dance. It was particularly entertaining. Lots of kicking, punching and sweating. Don't think I have ever done a class to Metallica before!
The class was during lunch, so afterwards is a quick shower and rush back to your desk, whilst hoping the red face recovers quickly. Its a mad dash, but a great way to spend your lunch hour.
Today after the shower, I had an alopecia moment. One that was highly amusing.
My friend was all showered and dressed but had soaking wet hair. She was running late and was not yet ready to get going.
It was then that I turned around, after putting my wig on and said, "I bet you wish you had alopecia, it would save you time and your hair would always look this good."
She clearly found this amusing and we both laughed out loud. A silly moment, Full of truth.
It's great to have fun with being bald and even better, making people feel jealous and wish they had it, even for a few seconds!!
Ghosts
Everywhere I look, I recognize people. But it can't be. What would "they" be doing here, when "they" live and work 6000 km away?
Yet on first glance, "they" look like "them". Is it my mind playing tricks on me? Is it me wishing "they" were "them"? Is it part of the change process? Is it normal?
Either way it's mean.
I like "they" and am happy to be amongst them. But the other "them" are clearly part of my brain and are not leaving me. Maybe I am not leaving "them" or letting them go.
So I have termed these people ghosts, friendly ghosts. I think "they" are just checking up on me to see if I am ok.
Now every time I see one of these friendly ghosts. I say "Hi" and thank them for popping over the Atlantic to check up on me, I then tell them I am fine, so that they can go back to where they live. In peace.
I imagine when "they" are gone, I will miss them, but I have a sense that "they" are not going to leave me any time soon.
That's ok, I am not ready to lose them just yet. It's nice to have you with me for a little while longer.
Yet on first glance, "they" look like "them". Is it my mind playing tricks on me? Is it me wishing "they" were "them"? Is it part of the change process? Is it normal?
Either way it's mean.
I like "they" and am happy to be amongst them. But the other "them" are clearly part of my brain and are not leaving me. Maybe I am not leaving "them" or letting them go.
So I have termed these people ghosts, friendly ghosts. I think "they" are just checking up on me to see if I am ok.
Now every time I see one of these friendly ghosts. I say "Hi" and thank them for popping over the Atlantic to check up on me, I then tell them I am fine, so that they can go back to where they live. In peace.
I imagine when "they" are gone, I will miss them, but I have a sense that "they" are not going to leave me any time soon.
That's ok, I am not ready to lose them just yet. It's nice to have you with me for a little while longer.
Pulling my hair out
If I had any, I would pull my hair out.
I feel like I am constantly screaming at my kids. Over the last few days, they can do nothing right. And me, well I am the mother from hell.
I can reel of a list of things, just to paint the picture: wearing dirty boots in the house, constantly interrupting my only few minutes of privacy, namely on the loo, getting Nutella on their sleeves, always asking to watch TV. Not forgetting the permanent fighting with each and telling tales about what each of them are doing wrong.
They want everything they see when we are walking past shops, new pens, magazines, toys, even shoes. They sulk, they say mean things, they are driving me insane.
I have read enough to understand, that I am most likely contributing to this behaviour with mine. But this time I am not getting this theory. Yet, this morning I decided I would give it a huge effort. We were going to have a good day. So I planned a nice trip to the zoo, something they have been asking to do for a few weeks, and I even thought we could stay for lunch. Nice treat right?
This had to be a good plan, fresh air, physical activity and stimulation galore. But it clearly isn't enough for these demanding and right now, damn annoying offspring.
I have in my sheer loss of the situation just sat down, really calmly I add, with my 10 year old and asked her how I can make her day better and what we can both do to ensure I don't shout at her and am not too bossy, so we both get to enjoy our day.
It was a good conversation, with some good ideas, yet in minutes I was (obviously not literally) tearing my hair out again. Aghhh!
I am exasperated.
Is this normal? Have I raised two monsters? Do I need help?
As a last resort, how about this;
"Two kids for sale, any takers??"
I feel like I am constantly screaming at my kids. Over the last few days, they can do nothing right. And me, well I am the mother from hell.
I can reel of a list of things, just to paint the picture: wearing dirty boots in the house, constantly interrupting my only few minutes of privacy, namely on the loo, getting Nutella on their sleeves, always asking to watch TV. Not forgetting the permanent fighting with each and telling tales about what each of them are doing wrong.
They want everything they see when we are walking past shops, new pens, magazines, toys, even shoes. They sulk, they say mean things, they are driving me insane.
I have read enough to understand, that I am most likely contributing to this behaviour with mine. But this time I am not getting this theory. Yet, this morning I decided I would give it a huge effort. We were going to have a good day. So I planned a nice trip to the zoo, something they have been asking to do for a few weeks, and I even thought we could stay for lunch. Nice treat right?
This had to be a good plan, fresh air, physical activity and stimulation galore. But it clearly isn't enough for these demanding and right now, damn annoying offspring.
I have in my sheer loss of the situation just sat down, really calmly I add, with my 10 year old and asked her how I can make her day better and what we can both do to ensure I don't shout at her and am not too bossy, so we both get to enjoy our day.
It was a good conversation, with some good ideas, yet in minutes I was (obviously not literally) tearing my hair out again. Aghhh!
I am exasperated.
Is this normal? Have I raised two monsters? Do I need help?
As a last resort, how about this;
"Two kids for sale, any takers??"
Airport fury again
It makes me mad. Remember Airport fury back in September.
I line up patiently. Like everyone else. I get my turn. Like everyone else. I successfully get my bag through the Xray machine. Like most people. But then me, just me, gets pulled into a cabin and gets demanded to display my bald head, in all its glory.
Hardly anyone gets to see this part of me. It is very private. Yet these people feel they have a right to expose and embarrass me. As if it is human right of theirs. Well it is not.
If I was wearing my wig, they would not care. But my hats are like a red flag to them, any sight of them makes these people lose any respect or kindess to other human beings.
I can’t believe they have the right to demand I take my hat off. Can I find that out anywhere? Anyone know? Surely us baldies have rights? Isn't that a form of harrassment? Well it feels like it!
I have had enough. I find it a real intrusion.
The woman today insisted that I had to remove my hat. I argued politely, but she was insistent.
In the spirit of getting to my destination I removed my hat, a little abruptly. I showed her, what hardly anyone else gets to see, my bald alopecian head. Even my best friends haven't seen me like this.
I am angry. This experience made me mad.
And now I am in a bad mood on what started out as a lovely day.
Grumble grumble.
I line up patiently. Like everyone else. I get my turn. Like everyone else. I successfully get my bag through the Xray machine. Like most people. But then me, just me, gets pulled into a cabin and gets demanded to display my bald head, in all its glory.
Hardly anyone gets to see this part of me. It is very private. Yet these people feel they have a right to expose and embarrass me. As if it is human right of theirs. Well it is not.
If I was wearing my wig, they would not care. But my hats are like a red flag to them, any sight of them makes these people lose any respect or kindess to other human beings.
I can’t believe they have the right to demand I take my hat off. Can I find that out anywhere? Anyone know? Surely us baldies have rights? Isn't that a form of harrassment? Well it feels like it!
I have had enough. I find it a real intrusion.
The woman today insisted that I had to remove my hat. I argued politely, but she was insistent.
In the spirit of getting to my destination I removed my hat, a little abruptly. I showed her, what hardly anyone else gets to see, my bald alopecian head. Even my best friends haven't seen me like this.
I am angry. This experience made me mad.
And now I am in a bad mood on what started out as a lovely day.
Grumble grumble.
Ordinary is the new extraordinary
I have heard this expression a few times of late. And each time I like it.
A friend of mine had been talking about how her ordinary days are the best. The time spent with friends and family, just doing regular stuff is what is making the difference. It's not the fancy hotels and the amazing restaurants, it's just the plain and simple ordinary,
The regular day doing simple things. That is what is is making the difference and becoming the most memorable.
This weekend was filled with ordinary moments and it was magical.
Having an ice cream in Germany's best creation the "Eiscafe", namely an ice cream cafe. Ok maybe some would argue their cars are better, but whatever. Anyway having ice cream with grandma, was a precious moment. As was watching one daughter do homework with her grandpa. Then there was today's magnificent brunch with friends in the sunshine under a beautiful sky, just like last weekends long and lazy brunch with other friends.
These ordinary things are extraordinary.
We are all healthy and happy and able to enjoy each other so freely. And all of it just a tram ride away.
So what ordinary things are you doing right now?
Would you agree with them being extraordinary?
A friend of mine had been talking about how her ordinary days are the best. The time spent with friends and family, just doing regular stuff is what is making the difference. It's not the fancy hotels and the amazing restaurants, it's just the plain and simple ordinary,
The regular day doing simple things. That is what is is making the difference and becoming the most memorable.
This weekend was filled with ordinary moments and it was magical.
Having an ice cream in Germany's best creation the "Eiscafe", namely an ice cream cafe. Ok maybe some would argue their cars are better, but whatever. Anyway having ice cream with grandma, was a precious moment. As was watching one daughter do homework with her grandpa. Then there was today's magnificent brunch with friends in the sunshine under a beautiful sky, just like last weekends long and lazy brunch with other friends.
These ordinary things are extraordinary.
We are all healthy and happy and able to enjoy each other so freely. And all of it just a tram ride away.
So what ordinary things are you doing right now?
Would you agree with them being extraordinary?
A new friend
It's bizarre.
This person was in my life for a number of small years. She was someone, for whom I had an inordinate amount of respect. Her knowledge, articulation and assertiveness were impressive. Maybe she espoused the things I desire. Maybe therein lay the attraction. Yet there was no warmth there. No sign of light for a friendship. Maybe a twinke in the dust now and again, but the shutters were closed on this one. In fact, there was even a phase where there was pretty much dislike, even disdain on both sides.
Yet we didn't give up. Maybe we both saw the sparkle but didn't know how to access it. We had it out. We both understood something differently as a result. We both needed this conversation.
Months later, we both found the capacity and the willingness to explore the possibilities and weeks later even jumped in, raw and vulnerable.
The product is now unfolding. I feel a richness evolving. I feel distance and space could be oxygen to this relationship. I have no expectations but I have a lot of hope.
I think we have both realized how important it is to have friends in the workplace. Friends to support each other, friends to tell you the truth and importantly, friends to have your back. I think we both see the value in this. And I for sure am looking forward to this friendship.
Whenever and however it unravels.
This person was in my life for a number of small years. She was someone, for whom I had an inordinate amount of respect. Her knowledge, articulation and assertiveness were impressive. Maybe she espoused the things I desire. Maybe therein lay the attraction. Yet there was no warmth there. No sign of light for a friendship. Maybe a twinke in the dust now and again, but the shutters were closed on this one. In fact, there was even a phase where there was pretty much dislike, even disdain on both sides.
Yet we didn't give up. Maybe we both saw the sparkle but didn't know how to access it. We had it out. We both understood something differently as a result. We both needed this conversation.
Months later, we both found the capacity and the willingness to explore the possibilities and weeks later even jumped in, raw and vulnerable.
The product is now unfolding. I feel a richness evolving. I feel distance and space could be oxygen to this relationship. I have no expectations but I have a lot of hope.
I think we have both realized how important it is to have friends in the workplace. Friends to support each other, friends to tell you the truth and importantly, friends to have your back. I think we both see the value in this. And I for sure am looking forward to this friendship.
Whenever and however it unravels.
Skype invasion
We "skype" a lot with friends and family. It's fun. The kids enjoy it and love taking the laptop around the house with them and showing the person on the other end, their personal journey of what they think is relevant.
Only last week, I caught my youngest, showing my sister the contents of the fridge. Well why not? It actually is quite interesting, checking out other peoples fridges.
The oldest, when she is in the mood, takes the device into her room with her, so she can can have private and undisturbed conversations. That's nice too. A guess a sign of her growing up.
Usually we only overhear snippets of the conversations, and these usually make us smile. They are funny these little beings. Listening to their ramblings offers up insights into their daily life.
Anyway for my todays hair blog or rather lack-of-hair blog, there is a story involving skype which I will tell you.
My youngest was taking two unsuspecting callers around our new place. She was showing them her new room, the terracce etc. Rather normal and relateively innocent you may think.
Then I hear her say, "and this on the dressing table is my mummy's hair".
Well she was right, my hair was indeed lying on the dressing room table, in my bedroom.
She didn't wait for a reaction or comment from the other people, she just immediately continued with her journey around the room, showing off items like this the sock drawer, the bookshelf etc.
This little "overhear" revealed three things to me
1. My lack of hair is as mundane as a sock drawer to my child
2. My alopecia is a fact with no emotion attached to it
3. My baldness and my wigs are not taboo subjects
So thank you skype for ruining our privacy, but thank you really for showing me what my daughter really thinks about my condition, namely nothing at all.
Only last week, I caught my youngest, showing my sister the contents of the fridge. Well why not? It actually is quite interesting, checking out other peoples fridges.
The oldest, when she is in the mood, takes the device into her room with her, so she can can have private and undisturbed conversations. That's nice too. A guess a sign of her growing up.
Usually we only overhear snippets of the conversations, and these usually make us smile. They are funny these little beings. Listening to their ramblings offers up insights into their daily life.
Anyway for my todays hair blog or rather lack-of-hair blog, there is a story involving skype which I will tell you.
My youngest was taking two unsuspecting callers around our new place. She was showing them her new room, the terracce etc. Rather normal and relateively innocent you may think.
Then I hear her say, "and this on the dressing table is my mummy's hair".
Well she was right, my hair was indeed lying on the dressing room table, in my bedroom.
She didn't wait for a reaction or comment from the other people, she just immediately continued with her journey around the room, showing off items like this the sock drawer, the bookshelf etc.
This little "overhear" revealed three things to me
1. My lack of hair is as mundane as a sock drawer to my child
2. My alopecia is a fact with no emotion attached to it
3. My baldness and my wigs are not taboo subjects
So thank you skype for ruining our privacy, but thank you really for showing me what my daughter really thinks about my condition, namely nothing at all.
So frustrated
I am so frustrated.
I will save you the details of why. But it comes down to lack of preparation accompanied with high expectations. Both high expectations from me and from others too.
Bottom line is I have hours to spare and nothing constructive to do.
La la la.
I am trying to keep myself in check and not to lose control, but it's hard. I like being busy. I like having a to do list. I like planning. However I can do none of this.
I have to wait and do actually very little.
To divert the frustration, I have decided that this is going to become a fun challenge for me. In this situation, which might very easily stretch into days, I am being put to the test.
How many things can I do to plan and prepare, in an unconventional way.
Alternatively, what can I read or write that will be helpful.
So I registered to the gym, wrote a blog, made some calls, made a list, made some more calls, texted a few people and then went to the gym. After that I sorted my address book /contact list out and made another list.
I suppose I should be grateful for this gift of time, but I guess I do have a strong work ethic, that gets in the way.
Maybe I will go for a walk and think about it.
Maybe I should reflect on my productivity rate. Maybe I actually was really productive without the usual infrastructure, but in a very laid back and thoughtful kind of way.
Whatever my walk reveals, I think I failed the challenge. I am still frustrated.
Grumble grumble.
I will save you the details of why. But it comes down to lack of preparation accompanied with high expectations. Both high expectations from me and from others too.
Bottom line is I have hours to spare and nothing constructive to do.
La la la.
I am trying to keep myself in check and not to lose control, but it's hard. I like being busy. I like having a to do list. I like planning. However I can do none of this.
I have to wait and do actually very little.
To divert the frustration, I have decided that this is going to become a fun challenge for me. In this situation, which might very easily stretch into days, I am being put to the test.
How many things can I do to plan and prepare, in an unconventional way.
Alternatively, what can I read or write that will be helpful.
So I registered to the gym, wrote a blog, made some calls, made a list, made some more calls, texted a few people and then went to the gym. After that I sorted my address book /contact list out and made another list.
I suppose I should be grateful for this gift of time, but I guess I do have a strong work ethic, that gets in the way.
Maybe I will go for a walk and think about it.
Maybe I should reflect on my productivity rate. Maybe I actually was really productive without the usual infrastructure, but in a very laid back and thoughtful kind of way.
Whatever my walk reveals, I think I failed the challenge. I am still frustrated.
Grumble grumble.
Deliciously predictable
My hubbie and I try to go out for lunch frequently. On a week day. I would like to think we go monthly, but it isn't that often. But we go now and again.
We find it a good time to spend together, uninterrupted and quite lovely. We enjoy nice food, a good chat and a fine sip of wine.
There is one particular venue, we really enjoy. It is a fabulous restaurant, renowned for its steaks. It costs a small mortgage in the evening, but during the day, they have amazing deals. Same stuff, cheaper prices, just a few hours earlier.
The absolute best deal is the "table d'hote". This menu consists of a small choice of starters, a select range of main meals and one dessert. The quality, the service and the presentation is always top notch.
The best thing is however the dessert.
As said, there is only one choice, and it had been that way for the past three years. Possibly even longer. It's one if those chocolate soufflés. You know, the ones that that melt, as your spoon penetrates the surface. They are only cooked to order and need 10 minutes to cook. It is accompanied by homemade vanilla bean ice cream. Oh my word. A taste sensation. Dessert heaven.
What I like about this concept is that it works. The dessert is amazing and they know it. They don't switch it up, they don't get complicated and they don't over fancy it. One choice.
It never fails to impress and it's deliciously predictable.
I like this concept. Do it good, get it right and keep it simple.
I realize chocolate pud does not appeal to everyone, but looking around, not many desserts get rejected or are left uneaten.
So as I reflect on how wonderful this experience is, I was wondering if anything can be taken from it into life. Any parallels?
Anyone got any ideas on how this can be applied to life?
Curious to know.
We find it a good time to spend together, uninterrupted and quite lovely. We enjoy nice food, a good chat and a fine sip of wine.
There is one particular venue, we really enjoy. It is a fabulous restaurant, renowned for its steaks. It costs a small mortgage in the evening, but during the day, they have amazing deals. Same stuff, cheaper prices, just a few hours earlier.
The absolute best deal is the "table d'hote". This menu consists of a small choice of starters, a select range of main meals and one dessert. The quality, the service and the presentation is always top notch.
The best thing is however the dessert.
As said, there is only one choice, and it had been that way for the past three years. Possibly even longer. It's one if those chocolate soufflés. You know, the ones that that melt, as your spoon penetrates the surface. They are only cooked to order and need 10 minutes to cook. It is accompanied by homemade vanilla bean ice cream. Oh my word. A taste sensation. Dessert heaven.
What I like about this concept is that it works. The dessert is amazing and they know it. They don't switch it up, they don't get complicated and they don't over fancy it. One choice.
It never fails to impress and it's deliciously predictable.
I like this concept. Do it good, get it right and keep it simple.
I realize chocolate pud does not appeal to everyone, but looking around, not many desserts get rejected or are left uneaten.
So as I reflect on how wonderful this experience is, I was wondering if anything can be taken from it into life. Any parallels?
Anyone got any ideas on how this can be applied to life?
Curious to know.
I threw them away
They have been in my make up bag for years. They cost me over 20 Swiss Francs plus the glue so I wasn't going to throw them away.
However every time I looked at them, I thought there was not a chance in hell, I was going to attempt to put them on. Who needs glued together eyes?
So as I glanced at them for the thousandth time, I picked them up, took one last glance, then flung my false eyelashes into the bin. Gone.
Never again to be looked at in despair and reminded of the fact that I don't have any eyelashes!
So liberating.
Have you ever thrown away something, and felt only relief afterwards?
Do tell......
However every time I looked at them, I thought there was not a chance in hell, I was going to attempt to put them on. Who needs glued together eyes?
So as I glanced at them for the thousandth time, I picked them up, took one last glance, then flung my false eyelashes into the bin. Gone.
Never again to be looked at in despair and reminded of the fact that I don't have any eyelashes!
So liberating.
Have you ever thrown away something, and felt only relief afterwards?
Do tell......
Just one night together
Life is full when you have two little ones. I mean let's be clear, we are the ones filling it up. I also would not have it any other way. So this fullness is more of an observation, not a complaint.
Swimming lessons, skating lessons, gym classes, ski weekends, play dates, sleep overs. We are, like most parents I know, trying to expose our kids to many things. At the same time, also ensuring they get the social interaction they so desperately want, on top of all this.
Now let's not forget, that in addition to all this, the parents, namely us, are also scrambling for a hobby. Just one night out is all we need. But then there are two of us. So in a flash, the week is packed to the brim.
So back to my point. Life is full.
Within this fully planned week, I really try to keep one evening free. Free of any commitments. This way we can do whatever we like, together. Not too much to ask is it?
In general, we are pretty successful at this, and I think we all need it.
However this week, it didn't happen, that one precious evening, got planned for someone. Now in the grand scheme of things, this was not a problem. But it was. I was not happy about this.
Now I didn't make a fuss about it at the time, as it felt unfair to stop this activity for the one who clearly wanted to partake. Yet it made me grumpy.
I was not grumpy because this person was missing. I was grumpy because I love being together and I had mentally prepared for our cosy evening together. I knew what we were going to do and it was treats all round. Yet with one person missing it was not the same.
So I let it pass, but I realized how important it is for me to have this one free evening with all of us together.
Surely me wanting this is a good thing. Right?
Do any of you have tips on how to protect what's important?
Please share.
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