Possible intents

I dapple with yoga. I enjoy the intensity and the intent. I equally enjoy the speed at which any posture and it's difficulty are over. It is a quick and concentrated effort versus a run or a long bike ride. I do however find yoga extremely difficult.  It requires strength and focus, both of which I am seriously lacking!

So as I said, every now and again I go along to a class. As much as I enjoy the stretch and the physical demands, I am also fascinated by the spirituality behind it. The stories and explanations are simply lovely. Dare I say, even inspirational. The thought of inner harmony or practising a discipline which offers physical, mental and emotional strength all in one go, sounds like a good deal to me! The thought of relaxing the mind and turning off the internal TV, even for a matter of minutes, sounds like sheer heaven. So in theory I am bought in.

Anyway, this morning I intended to go to a yoga class. I had freed up the time in my day and thought I would be rolling out my purple mat, one more time.

However I fell at the first hurdle and I didn't go.

Someone asked if I was available at that time and I said, without any hesitation, yes. Why did I agree so quickly? Had I forgotten? Was the request so important? Well no, not really. Was I looking for an excuse? Possibly.

Either way I didn't go.

Later on in the day, I was grumpy with myself. Why hadn't I gone, even when I thought I had wanted to?  My behaviour was really quite lame.  The reason I came up with, was that I had never really committed to going. I had not mentally made this a priority for my day. Basically I had not committed enough. I thought I had, but when it came down to it, I found a reason not to go. Something else was more important. So all that I really had, was a possible intent. And let's face it, possible intent, was never going to happen! Never ever.

Is this why we never get round to doing the things we want to? Is it as simple as committing, I mean really committing, versus having "only" good intentions?

If it is, I am going to stop wasting my time and energy by pretending that I might do something, namely having lots of possible intents.  Instead I am going to make fewer but more real commitments.  Committments that I really will protect fiercely.

Ask me in a few weeks, to see if it has made a difference?