After having no full head of hair for nigh on ten years, today I got wondering, what would it be like?
What would it be like to have have a full head of hair in my early forties?
How would I wear it?
Would I be dying it or would I go for the natural grey look?
Would it be short or long?
Wavy or straight?
Would I tie it back or wear it down?
Would I have one colour or multi tones?
You see, my own hair had a very different weight and feel to it than any artificial hair, so I am sure my own hair would be completely different to my wig choices.
Also with my wigs, I get to chose styles and colours, that dont need frequent cutting, layering and highlighting.
I guess I will never know, but I think my false hair is definitely more stylish than I would do it myself. So that's got to be plus!!
Anyway, I was just wondering.
The other side of it
She only had eyes for him.
She listened attentively.
She asked questions.
She was seeking to understand.
I received the occasional glance.
But her attention was only for him.
She was engaged.
She was attentive.
She listened.
So what am I talking about?
I am talking about the things that are not known, not understood and not shared.
I am talking about the things working mothers, with magical spouses, bury, hide and deny.
I am talking about parents evening.
I am talking about how the teachers interact with my husband.
I am talking about how I get ignored as I clearly have no understanding of how my daughter learns or does her homework. Or how she behaves when things don't work out.
I am talking about the shame that mothers like me feel but never share.
She listened attentively.
She asked questions.
She was seeking to understand.
I received the occasional glance.
But her attention was only for him.
She was engaged.
She was attentive.
She listened.
So what am I talking about?
I am talking about the things that are not known, not understood and not shared.
I am talking about the things working mothers, with magical spouses, bury, hide and deny.
I am talking about parents evening.
I am talking about how the teachers interact with my husband.
I am talking about how I get ignored as I clearly have no understanding of how my daughter learns or does her homework. Or how she behaves when things don't work out.
I am talking about the shame that mothers like me feel but never share.
A question
So sitting down to an evening on the sofa, my eldest asks:
"Who is the most famous person of all?"
Good question isn't it.
So go on, who do you think?
Here is what I said " God"
Here is what she said "Queen Elizabeth"
Here is what Daddy said "Father Christmas"
I will ask the youngest one tomorrow, when she wakes up.
So who did you come up with?
Go on, ask your friends and family, entertain yourself
Let me know.
"Who is the most famous person of all?"
Good question isn't it.
So go on, who do you think?
Here is what I said " God"
Here is what she said "Queen Elizabeth"
Here is what Daddy said "Father Christmas"
I will ask the youngest one tomorrow, when she wakes up.
So who did you come up with?
Go on, ask your friends and family, entertain yourself
Let me know.
The cause of stress?
If I were to ask you, what causes you stress, would you know?
I am not sure I had a definitive answer til now. I would most probably have conjured up a few theories. For example, I may have said too much work causes me stress. Or maybe too little sleep. Maybe too short deadlines. Possibly even bad relationships with peers.
But I would not have know for sure that these are the root causes.
This week I think I have reached a conclusion on what actually causes me the most stress.
I think it is lack of control of my time.
Meaning I cannot chose if I have an 8am meeting or a 5pm one. I also can't chose to have a lunch break or a lunch meeting. I most definitely have not been able to chose when I go the gym.
This control of my time, has exhausted me.
I have realised, I am not a resilient machine that can consistently do 12+ hour work days, without pauses of energy renewal.
Anyway this period is most definitely time boxed and very soon I claim it back, but at least I have understood why I feel this way.
What about you?
What causes you stress?
Ambiguity. Workload. Relationships...........
Do let us know.
I am not sure I had a definitive answer til now. I would most probably have conjured up a few theories. For example, I may have said too much work causes me stress. Or maybe too little sleep. Maybe too short deadlines. Possibly even bad relationships with peers.
But I would not have know for sure that these are the root causes.
This week I think I have reached a conclusion on what actually causes me the most stress.
I think it is lack of control of my time.
Meaning I cannot chose if I have an 8am meeting or a 5pm one. I also can't chose to have a lunch break or a lunch meeting. I most definitely have not been able to chose when I go the gym.
This control of my time, has exhausted me.
I have realised, I am not a resilient machine that can consistently do 12+ hour work days, without pauses of energy renewal.
Anyway this period is most definitely time boxed and very soon I claim it back, but at least I have understood why I feel this way.
What about you?
What causes you stress?
Ambiguity. Workload. Relationships...........
Do let us know.
Hats and Ears
Someone recently asked me about my hats.
The question was a good one.
She said, can you hear people well if you wear your hats?
And the truth is indeed, no, not so well!!
The hats I wear are designed for us baldies and as a consequence they are cut very deep around the ears and round the back of the head. Think about it. They need to look nice and not just cover the head.
Thus they are designed to cover the ears and reach to the nape of the neck.
So in fact when I wear my hat, I do lose some of my ability to hear.
It has not really affected my quality of life, nor have I chosen to stop wearing my hats, but once again it is a different reality. One which I share with you on this Winter Friday.
Happy weekend!
The question was a good one.
She said, can you hear people well if you wear your hats?
And the truth is indeed, no, not so well!!
The hats I wear are designed for us baldies and as a consequence they are cut very deep around the ears and round the back of the head. Think about it. They need to look nice and not just cover the head.
Thus they are designed to cover the ears and reach to the nape of the neck.
So in fact when I wear my hat, I do lose some of my ability to hear.
It has not really affected my quality of life, nor have I chosen to stop wearing my hats, but once again it is a different reality. One which I share with you on this Winter Friday.
Happy weekend!
The Magical Spouse
So any of you who have ever moved around for your work, will have heard the expression
"Trailing spouse"
Technically it means, the spouse who gives up their career and status and follows the spouse to the new location, without planned employment.
I have always taken offense to this expression, as it feels derogatory.
Quite simply, many people who move around the world for work, NEED, the support of their so called trailing spouse, to keep all the balls in the air.
The list includes, taking care of the schooling, the governmental administration , the upkeep of the house, the morale in the family and often the exercusions and general country discovery. Not to mention the social life, the food shopping and and and and......
Get my point?
These high flying executives could not do what they do with out their T R A I L I N G spouse T R A I L I N G right behind them.
So today I have a call for action. Let's rebrand this team of people and turn them into what they are!
Downright MAGICAL.
So this day hence forth, please join the rally, to give these magnificient and generous human beings, the title they deserve, namely Magical Spouse!
Let's start referring to these people as magical spouses and correcting those misguided people around us, who wrongly call them trailing spouses.
Here endeth my sermon of the day and now I get off my soapbox!
"Trailing spouse"
Technically it means, the spouse who gives up their career and status and follows the spouse to the new location, without planned employment.
I have always taken offense to this expression, as it feels derogatory.
Quite simply, many people who move around the world for work, NEED, the support of their so called trailing spouse, to keep all the balls in the air.
The list includes, taking care of the schooling, the governmental administration , the upkeep of the house, the morale in the family and often the exercusions and general country discovery. Not to mention the social life, the food shopping and and and and......
Get my point?
These high flying executives could not do what they do with out their T R A I L I N G spouse T R A I L I N G right behind them.
So today I have a call for action. Let's rebrand this team of people and turn them into what they are!
Downright MAGICAL.
So this day hence forth, please join the rally, to give these magnificient and generous human beings, the title they deserve, namely Magical Spouse!
Let's start referring to these people as magical spouses and correcting those misguided people around us, who wrongly call them trailing spouses.
Here endeth my sermon of the day and now I get off my soapbox!
Body Posture
I don't think I have particulary good posture.
My shoulders kind of cave in and my back curls forward when I am at ease. Maybe it is the multiple hours at the computer that has caused this, but either way it's how I am made.
However when I pull my head up, straighten my spine and stick my chest out, it feels good.
It's bizarre but when I am in this upright position, I also feel more powerful, stronger and confident.
When I walk, consciously, and with good posture, I find myself feeling happier, This link is truly odd. I often find a breathe slower too.
That said, my posture slumps within minutes, back to comfort and rounded-ness. All I need is to lose my focus, forget my intent and that's me done.
During yoga, they teach you to stand as if, someone is pulling a string from the middle of your head up into the sky. It allows all of your muscles to join in and stretch that bit more upwards too. It feels like suddenly you are ten feet taller.
So how is your posture right now?
Feel like an immediate boost of power? Well sit up then. Bring your belly button back, stick out your chest bone, ground your feet into the floor and lift your chin?
How was that? A 10 second feel good moment I hope.
Happy sitting this week! May your posture bring you good things!
My shoulders kind of cave in and my back curls forward when I am at ease. Maybe it is the multiple hours at the computer that has caused this, but either way it's how I am made.
However when I pull my head up, straighten my spine and stick my chest out, it feels good.
It's bizarre but when I am in this upright position, I also feel more powerful, stronger and confident.
When I walk, consciously, and with good posture, I find myself feeling happier, This link is truly odd. I often find a breathe slower too.
That said, my posture slumps within minutes, back to comfort and rounded-ness. All I need is to lose my focus, forget my intent and that's me done.
During yoga, they teach you to stand as if, someone is pulling a string from the middle of your head up into the sky. It allows all of your muscles to join in and stretch that bit more upwards too. It feels like suddenly you are ten feet taller.
So how is your posture right now?
Feel like an immediate boost of power? Well sit up then. Bring your belly button back, stick out your chest bone, ground your feet into the floor and lift your chin?
How was that? A 10 second feel good moment I hope.
Happy sitting this week! May your posture bring you good things!
Panic - I am moving office
My post on my daily walk of shame, really made an impact on many of you. I didn't think that blog was that special, but many of you have commented on it and have often referred to it, in our exchanges.
I still do it every day and I have to say, that the shame still lives on, however I do walk with my head a little higher each day.
However it is my walk of shame and I know it well.
It is something I do everyday and it belongs to my routine and ritual.
The walk is short and relatively unexposed, so its as good as it gets, given the place I work.
However it is all set to change. You see as of next month, I am moving building. And I have yet to find the way to discretely arrive at work with my cap on and swiftly change to my hair in the minimum of time. Aggggggggggggghhhhh!!
Something so simple, is causing me so much stress.
I am even considering cycling to work in my wig, to avoid any unwanted interest and looks. Surely there has to be a solution. Most likely there will be, once I have done a bit of discovery.
But the point is, that this move is stressing me. Causing me to panic. And I am sure no one else in the world would consider this. Clearly there could be other reasons for stress eg new colleagues, new sounds, new logistics, but this panic belongs only to Alopecians.
I will let you know how it goes, but for now I will do a little more worrying.
I still do it every day and I have to say, that the shame still lives on, however I do walk with my head a little higher each day.
However it is my walk of shame and I know it well.
It is something I do everyday and it belongs to my routine and ritual.
The walk is short and relatively unexposed, so its as good as it gets, given the place I work.
However it is all set to change. You see as of next month, I am moving building. And I have yet to find the way to discretely arrive at work with my cap on and swiftly change to my hair in the minimum of time. Aggggggggggggghhhhh!!
Something so simple, is causing me so much stress.
I am even considering cycling to work in my wig, to avoid any unwanted interest and looks. Surely there has to be a solution. Most likely there will be, once I have done a bit of discovery.
But the point is, that this move is stressing me. Causing me to panic. And I am sure no one else in the world would consider this. Clearly there could be other reasons for stress eg new colleagues, new sounds, new logistics, but this panic belongs only to Alopecians.
I will let you know how it goes, but for now I will do a little more worrying.
Beauty in the snow
There is something incredibly beautiful about fresh snow. It's peaceful in its perfection.
When out walking, it feels like no one has ever been on that path before. It feels like you are an adventurer discovering new places.
I had two moments on my winter wonderland holiday, both were mine and both were beautiful.
Here is the first. It is my steps from a few days ago. There were no others for miles around.
If I am honest, I find walking on frozen lakes very scary, despite its obvious safety given the temperatures, yet it's the unknown. Yet walking on frozen lakes is a wonderful experience, as you know that beneath you is a depth. Solid and strong, yet scarily fragile.
It's the feeling of purity. The feeling of breaking into new territories.
Walking on fresh snow is a moment of silence and a moment of serenity.
Then there was moment two. Snowshoeing in the woods behind the cottage. This was a real 'moment" and also a shared moment. I could not stop saying how beautiful everything was.
My buddy felt the same.
These moments belonged to me.
Beauty in snow.
Two moments to treasure.
When out walking, it feels like no one has ever been on that path before. It feels like you are an adventurer discovering new places.
I had two moments on my winter wonderland holiday, both were mine and both were beautiful.
Here is the first. It is my steps from a few days ago. There were no others for miles around.
If I am honest, I find walking on frozen lakes very scary, despite its obvious safety given the temperatures, yet it's the unknown. Yet walking on frozen lakes is a wonderful experience, as you know that beneath you is a depth. Solid and strong, yet scarily fragile.
It's the feeling of purity. The feeling of breaking into new territories.
Walking on fresh snow is a moment of silence and a moment of serenity.
Then there was moment two. Snowshoeing in the woods behind the cottage. This was a real 'moment" and also a shared moment. I could not stop saying how beautiful everything was.
My buddy felt the same.
These moments belonged to me.
Beauty in snow.
Two moments to treasure.
Back to it
After all the festivities, it is back to normal.
As much as we all want to stay on holiday and continue the indulgences, there is a lot to be said about routine.
I looked forward to my cycle to work today
I looked forward to my dress and high heels
I looked forward to my trip to the gym (boy was it packed today!!!!)
I looked forward to being back on my desk
I looked forward to seeing my colleagues
I looked forward to organizing a run with my buddy in our lunch break this week
And I was not disappointed. The return to reality went well.
I know I will be craving holidays again very soon, but right now, I am happy to be back to my routine.
How was your return?
As much as we all want to stay on holiday and continue the indulgences, there is a lot to be said about routine.
I looked forward to my cycle to work today
I looked forward to my dress and high heels
I looked forward to my trip to the gym (boy was it packed today!!!!)
I looked forward to being back on my desk
I looked forward to seeing my colleagues
I looked forward to organizing a run with my buddy in our lunch break this week
And I was not disappointed. The return to reality went well.
I know I will be craving holidays again very soon, but right now, I am happy to be back to my routine.
How was your return?
How many New Years did you have?
You celebrates one new year - right?
Well this year was different for me. Memorably different.
We were spending new year with 2 fabulous families in a beautiful cottage in deep dark snowy Quebec.
There were 12 of us, 6 adults and 6 kids, all under 10.
We started the celebrations early and by around 7/8, we thought wow the kids are not going to make it to midnight without falling apart with exhaustion. Then one of the adults had, what I can only call, a marvellous idea. "Why don't we bring the clocks forward by 2 hours." This way we get the kids to bed by 10.15 and we get a few hours of adult fun and games. Tremendous idea.
So we switched all the clocks, including the ones on their wrists. No small feat.
And we pulled it off beautifully. Everyone was happy.
And by 10.15 all 6 kiddies were tucked up in bed with a good night kiss.
Then you would think that the fun would start, but I decided to let the others begin the games, whilst I rested, just a little. Bad idea. You know where this is going right.
I dozed off on the sofa.
However I was awakened by my lovely friends beginning the countdown and offering me champagne. Quick quick I got up and joined in.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy 2014 everyone.
We hugged, kissed, took photos. Exactly as it should be.
We then turned on the TV to catch the New York ball drop final moments, only for me to find out, that it was actually 11.51!!!!!!!
Hilarious.
They had tricked me.
Nice one guys, next year I will stay up. Promise.
Well this year was different for me. Memorably different.
We were spending new year with 2 fabulous families in a beautiful cottage in deep dark snowy Quebec.
There were 12 of us, 6 adults and 6 kids, all under 10.
We started the celebrations early and by around 7/8, we thought wow the kids are not going to make it to midnight without falling apart with exhaustion. Then one of the adults had, what I can only call, a marvellous idea. "Why don't we bring the clocks forward by 2 hours." This way we get the kids to bed by 10.15 and we get a few hours of adult fun and games. Tremendous idea.
So we switched all the clocks, including the ones on their wrists. No small feat.
And we pulled it off beautifully. Everyone was happy.
And by 10.15 all 6 kiddies were tucked up in bed with a good night kiss.
Then you would think that the fun would start, but I decided to let the others begin the games, whilst I rested, just a little. Bad idea. You know where this is going right.
I dozed off on the sofa.
However I was awakened by my lovely friends beginning the countdown and offering me champagne. Quick quick I got up and joined in.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy 2014 everyone.
We hugged, kissed, took photos. Exactly as it should be.
We then turned on the TV to catch the New York ball drop final moments, only for me to find out, that it was actually 11.51!!!!!!!
Hilarious.
They had tricked me.
Nice one guys, next year I will stay up. Promise.
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