After 15 years marriage, I figured it was time to take stock.
So whilst on our weekend away in small village in the Black Forest, we decided (well I kind of did) that it was good idea for us to discuss the 15 events that have shaped our marriage and of course our relationship.
It took us the whole of our nine course meal (yup - that was indulgent!) to come up with a list that we felt good about and that was representative of our years together.
We did not focus just on the good stuff, like fun holidays etc, we agreed that even sad events had a place on the list, as the way in which we deal with adversity or mak decisions as a couple, says everything about how are as a couple.
It was great to spend time on this, it was lovely to hear that we were both very proud of each other. To hear that we both felt we had space to do what we need to do and that we both felt understood by the other.
We consciosuly steered clear of offering each other feedback on what we could do better, as the night was all about the good stuff, the gratitude and the appreciation.
So maybe it did take us 15 years to do something like this, but lets say it was worth the wait.
Do you ever take stock in such a structured way?
What do you think the benefits are?
Are there any downsides to such discussions?
Do share.........
About ten years ago a very good friend of ours introduced us to the idea, on New Year's Eve in the peak district, of deciding our word of the year. We have done it every year since - and have added new categories like - person and place of the year; as well as hope for next year. It's great as a way of taking stock - and also means we don't go to any new year parties - surely the worst night of the year for a party?
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