Work has taken a big place in
my life of late. I have always enjoyed my job and given it a lot of time and
energy, but I have often consciously chosen to prioritize other things like
friends, family and gym. For me there was always a place for everything. However
recently work has moved up the ranking. It was without intent at first, and now
I can say I am aware of its priority and have accepted it.
A few months ago I blogged
about how I believe we can only have three things on the go at the same time,
and I believe once again I am finding this to be true. And right now, work
seems to be at the top (and I think place 2 and 3 go to sleep and food!)
Whilst this is conscious, I
can’t help feeling a little sadness. A little regret.
I am missing out on nights
out with friends that I cherish, I am missing out on dinners with close
friends, I am missing out on hearing about my daughter school trip, I am
missing out on weekends away with friends as I prefer to have a quieter time at
home and I am not keeping in touch with people the way I like to.
For me this is a choice right
now, but I know it is not sustainable. After a few weeks of this, I am already
feeling the exhaustion. Being so focused on work and driving for results is
taking a toll on me.
That said I am consciously
choosing this for a few more weeks. Why you may ask. Well its simple. I am
finding meaning in my work. I am finding that my skills are the right ones
right now to help the organization I work for. I am getting feedback and
recognition that I am a catalyst for the needed change and most of all I am
enjoying it so very much.
Yet I am not a workaholic. I
am not someone who believes I can have it all. I am consciously chosing.
So a mammoth world trip to 5 locations including China and Spain in 5 weeks and a whole load of “Sorry I wont make it” emails.
So a mammoth world trip to 5 locations including China and Spain in 5 weeks and a whole load of “Sorry I wont make it” emails.
I still can’t say it’s all
worth it, but you know, I feel I am making a good choice.
My work matters. My work is
making an impact.
So for now, no apologies but
know that I miss you all and I will be back to socializing (and hopefully more
frequent blogging) in mid May sometime.
In my experience there is a real danger in seeking meaning through feeding the company because the company is always hungry. It will consume everything you give and if you are not careful it will also consume you. Saddest thing is that it will not even care - because that is its nature. My advice - take care of yourself - and maybe use the next few weeks to review where meaning and value can be found.
ReplyDeleteI have looked at this comment again and find it rather harsh. As is often the case it reflects more on my situation than yours - so please don't take it to heart
ReplyDeletePandArchives, your response was not harsh, in fact very thought provoking. I will take your advice on board and rethink my meaning. I love a good challenge!
DeleteThought provoking blog. Not sure what my thoughts are yet so no feedback for now. I have noticed the shift in you alot and miss you but happy for you that you seem to be in a good place about your choices. I agree with your strategy of giving this focus a time limit as it is addictive for sure... Good that you put a time limit on it ( is that possible at your level to just stop giving so much after they have seen you are capable?)
ReplyDeleteWorld trip sounds amazing ! Too bad friends and family cannot come along!
World wide trip sounds amazing though! Too bad your family and friends cant go with you!
Lauren