Camping - passing on the tradition

For about 30 years, camping has become a tradition.

It started with a group of school boys being dropped off by their parents at a field.
The field belonged to one of the parents and was in the middle of a beautiful forest by a river. Idyllic, remote and beautiful.

As the years went on, these school boys were allowed a crate of beer for the weekend, then they came themselves on mopeds, beer attached to the back. At some point girlfriends came too, and the crowd grew.

I went along for the first time around 1994, yup thats 21 years ago. And we have been going ever since, year after year. We even had our children christening on the field.

I remember being the first one with a mobile phone, about 15 years ago, however there was no connection in the field, but still I had my motorola brick with a pull out antennae.  As the years went on, girlfriends became wives, some even ex-wives, the first child came and then there were more, and more, and more of them. Tents got fancier, equipment became more sophisticated and cars got bigger. Dogs are now also part of the event!

Yet some things stayed the same.

The core group of boys (now men!) remains the same, the fact that meat is grilled whilst we sit round the fire remains the same, cooling beer in the river remains the same and the love of the event stays the same. It is a huge event in the calendar.

It has been an event and a tradition that has accompanied lifes journey.

And what is starting to happen is that this tradtion seems to be passing on to the next generation. This year getting a seat near the fire was a challenge as the many pre-teens were hanging our there, telling jokes and stories.

What traditions do you have with friends?

What is it that keeps them going?

What is it that makes them fall apart?

Do tell.........

I said I was not ill!

I had an infuriating moment a few days ago. I have simmered on it a while, but I am still left quite angry. So here is what happened.

The other morning, we were meeting with my daughters Ergo therapist, I think they call it Occupational therapy in some parts of the world, but this seems weird given she is 12 and does not have an occupation, anyway I digress.

We meet her every now and again to see how my daughter is progressing and what support we can offer her etc etc. It was an 8am meeting and for whatever reason I was not really ready to leave the house however I knew I had time to come back before I headed to work. Don't you love early morning stress!!!

So we rushed out, headscarf on and no make-up. This in itself made me very uncomfortable as I don't ever leave the house without being "ready", yet this was a 30 minute meeting with my daughters interventionist and I figured being on time was more important.

As we arrived, I felt self conscious, but I reasoned with myself not to be silly, that this meeting was nothing about me, so just to get over myself.

She started out with a concerned look and asked how I was. Not understanding what was behind her question, I answered, with a quick "fine" and began to move swiftly to the reason of our meeting. She was not allowing this, she then said with a worried look, "so how are you really?". Again I said "fine thank you" and moved on. She did not want to let it go and now I was getting annoyed. She clearly was thinking this woman has cancer and is denial, so she went for the jugular. "so how is everything with your health". I was so annoyed and flustered and not at all in the frame of mind to provide her with any kind of soothing facts or reassurance that I was in perfect health, that I was abrupt and probably quite rude, with another "I am fine thank you, really"

All that was going through my mind was that not only did I think I looked bad this morning leaving home so quickly without being made up and wigged, but here was this stranger confirming I looked ugly and seemingly terminally ill. I was really upset.

Anyway the meeting moved on and we achieved what we came for. As I was leaving, the woman, reached over and took my hand and said " Get well soon". The audacity of it!

I reiterated that I was in good health and left. I was not in the mood to explain about alopecia and its causes.

I was so upset and angry. Who needs to be told at 8am in the morning that you look ugly! Not me, thank you! 

So that was my moment of being brutally reminded that alopecia does leave a mark on you, it does change how you look, it makes you different from what society expects. It leaves you naked and scarred. And it leaves you with insecurities.

Yes I know the intent of the woman was care for my welfare and most likely that of my child, but really!!!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

How to be a beginner

I am not a yogi, nor do I practice yoga. Well maybe once a year at most, just to test it out, but absolutely no committment or no plan!

Yet I am very interested in it. I love talking to people who practice to hear about their experiences, especially understanding what they get out of it. I also enjoy reading about it. Various kinds of books, ones with the traditions and history explained or ones where the corporate executive becomes enlightened and leaves her million dollar job behind to set up a yoga school to spread the word and enlighten others.

Behind yoga there is a steep history and it is very rich. The learnings seem so simple yet somehow incredibly hard.

Its all about breathing and being kind to the body.

It seems to be about understanding your limits and respecting them.

It seems to encourage strength building in the mind and the body. At the same time. Harmoniously.

One excerpt of the book that particulary resonated as I was reading it last night, was about learning or more precisely how to learn.

This is how it read:

How to be a beginner:
1. Try not to assume. Unpack your expectations. Some days are better than others. Be content with your practice that day.
2. Focus on the important things: your breath, your attitude, and how you feel.
3. Be greateful there are still some things you are not good at. Hurray for learning!
4. Be comfortable with what you don't know, because there is a lot more of it.

These 4 tips were all associated with yoga, yet they clearly apply to all aspects of life.

I have printed these out and put them on my desk where I can see them. I woudl like to remind myself of these principles. I know I am not very kind with myself. I can be very unforgiving of myself when I am not meeting my expectations or standards. If something does not go to plan, I can be very harsh and being greatful in these incidences, seems a long way off.
I also believe I should know everything about what I do, but here it reminds me to be comfortable with not knowing and even more so, accept that there is a ton more I dont know and that is a good thing.

So a long way to go for me?

What about you?

Does this resonate in any way?

Do you see the application to yoga and to life?

Do tell...........

The joy of boredom (and backgammon)

On a rainy day in the mountains, there was not a lot to do.

Outside it looked something like this.

So going for a walk was not so compelling. Huddling up on a sofa in a blanket more so! Yet with two little ones to entertain a book and a cushion was not going to be the plan.

Luckily, in the little house we were staying in, there was a compendium of board games, so we decided to tackle them. There were many to chose from, however we were in the mood for a new one. So my 7 year old selected backgammon.  I mean the board itself is so intriguing. All the diagonals and colours, with numbers and fancy dice, cause a huge amount of appeal.

We had to read the instructions a number of times and just try it out. In fact by the middle of the game we had just about got our head around the rules and the fun commenced. We played it a number of times, each time getting a little bit clearer on how to play and even a few sneaky tricks to beat your opponent.

It reminded me that being bored and not having a plan, offers up new opportunities. I am often fearful of not having a day planned, or not having a to-do list to keep me busy, yet these spontaneous, low action days are often the most memorable. Do you also find that?

When was the last time you learned a new board game?

When was the last time you had abosultely no plans?

Can we plan in more of these days or does that defeat the object ;-)

Anyone for a game of backammon?

Signs of the weekend

There are certain rituals that we all have.

For me they start off as things I do, then they gradually become habits and when I realise I like them and activitely note that I am doing them, I think I transfer these unconscious habits to purposeful rituals.

I have two that I like and they concern the weekend.

The first one is that each Friday at 7pm, I annouce to my family that "My favourite time of the week" has arrived. Its a simple statement, but for me it is a sign that family time is here and welcoming the good times in! Its usually just as dinner is beginning and I have a glass of something lovely in my hand. All four of us are round the table, eating someting prepared by our own fair hands and I say "My favourite time of the week is here!" We all smile and collectively acknowledge this moment. Its short, simple and sweet.

The second one is the kitchen machine / food processor.  You see we don't have much surface space in our kitchen, so our very funky food processor is tucked away in a drawer. However as we all know, machines in drawers and cupboards do not get much use!

So every Saturday morning I pull it out of the drawer and place it on the surface. We then begin planning how we are going to use it. Typically it starts off with making a smoothie, we throw in banana's, yoghurt, strawberries, oatmeal, milk, whatever we can find. It's a great breakfast treat and starts the process. We then decide if we will make cakes, bake waffles, make bread, make a curry paste etc etc. It's a very creative process and our weekend can be built around it. For example if we chose to bake a cake, we then say "Who shall we invite", if we make a curry, we need to plan in the trip to the Asian supermarket etc etc. Its become such a sign of a relaxed and fun weekend that bringing it out on a Saturday morning is the sign of a splendid weekend! It also helps structure our activities whilst being spontaneous.

So what signs do you have?

Are they simple or somewhat more elaborate?

Were they deisgned or accidental?

Do tell........

Love / Hate wig relationship

In general I have a love / hate relationship with my wig.

Some days I put it on and think, wow it looks great.
And others I just want to rip it off and throw it away.

The days it looks great are when it shines, when I thankfully notice I don't have gray roots showing through and when the style falls nicely around my face.

The other days it is itchy, it falls flat and it just hangs around my face.
These are the days I hate it and resent having to wear it.

I really dislike my wig when I travel. You see during such days I often have to wear it for 12-15 hours. I wear it from breakfast in the hotel, through to dinner in the evening which can go on to 10-11.

This is a long time to wear a wig. My head itches more on these days. My fringe just seems to tickle my forehead all the while. It really is unpleasant. I often escape to the toilet, just for a few minutes of reprieve and whip off the wig, just to have a few minutes of freedom. 

It is on days like this, that I don't like having alopecia. It is on days like this I envy the simplicity of the rest of you, in having hair. It is in days like this I wish I was in the comfort of my home, wearing a headscarf. Yet it is part of the corporate deal. It is part of how I am at work and travel is part of my job.

So I guess in short, I have learned to accept this discomfort.

Are there any discomforts in your life that you have to accept?

What are they and how do you find ways to cope?

Do tell.........

School sports day

Do you remember the days of school sports days? Love them or hate them?

I don't think I liked them much. Sack race, egg and spoon race, slow bicycle race, relay, sprint etc.
There was a whole day of races and waiting and at the end of the day there was awards for the best and the fastest. I also remember getting a triangle carton of orange juice with a straw -anyone else have that memory?

I do recall the excitment all the kids in theschool entered into. There was always a buzz and an air of craziness in the run up to the annual school sports day. It was a big event.

It was a day to celebrate the strongest and the best sportsmen and possible the sportswomen, although I do only remember that the guys won the trophies!

However today it seems that sports days are very different.

My kids had theirs last week. There were games and races that were not at all individual based but rather team based. In fact it went further than that, the set up of the teams was not done traditionally, it was a mix up of different ages and classes. Each pupil was in a new group of friends.

The games were also different, there was a combination of skills built into the activities, it was no longer based on what I recalled which were speed and agility, but these exercises were based on other skills. For example the kids were asked to blow sticks though tubes with the aim of hitting a target, then they had to do some running and balancing and then they had to strike a gong in a certain way to gain points for their team. So it was possible for anyone to win, not just the kid who is the athelete.

I have to say I liked this approach.

There was still recognition to the best and quickest teams, but everyone had equal chances.

Times have changed our practices and our schools have evolved. Inclusion matters, as does recognizing many strengths.

Does this make the kids less competitive?
I don't think so?

Does this make the day less fun?
I don't think so?

Does this shift make the world a better place?
I think quite possibly.

Thoughts anyone?

How much is a day worth?

How much is a day in your life worth?

Go on think about it?

I know it's a more complex question than it seems, as clearly it depends on your health, income etc. 

But 30 mins ago, I was asked a question that somehow was similar to this  

Now I have to apologize for this blog upfront, it may annoy many of you, and whilst it's meant to be light and entertaining, the content has the ability to come across all wrong. So sorry!

Anyway the question is still valid whatever your setting. 

So I am in Shanghai airport, flying home to Zurich. The trip was to deliver a 2 day training to a senior team and it mattered. Our company has a policy which I thank them for each time I fly overseas. Which is that for flights over 6 hours, we can fly in business class. Yea yea I know!!! Its pretty fab.

Anyway I arrived this morning, after a very early start at the check in. Here a very nice lady greeted me and said, "Today we are overbooked and we would like to offer you 1500 euros to travel economy class"   Wow what an offer. That is a huge sum of money. Think of all the things I could do with all that free money.  

But it wasn't really free money. 

My company was affording its people the luxury they deemed appropriate for their travels. And the cost they incur, they feel is justified.  So for me to spend the next 12+ hours in economy class was not their intention. Yet I had a choice.

I quickly thought about what various people in my life would say and advise me, and ended up going with the thought that, this was never my money in the first place, this was company money and not mine, thus I politely refused.

I also was massively tired after the few intense days in China and the jet lag that went with it, so to me a flight filled with many hours of sleep with good food and a great selection of movies, did appeal. So I refused.  In that moment, I felt it was a good trade off.

I also hope the person who did accept the downgrade, enjoyed every penny of the money and treated themself to something they had been saving for.

What would you have done?