I said I was not ill!

I had an infuriating moment a few days ago. I have simmered on it a while, but I am still left quite angry. So here is what happened.

The other morning, we were meeting with my daughters Ergo therapist, I think they call it Occupational therapy in some parts of the world, but this seems weird given she is 12 and does not have an occupation, anyway I digress.

We meet her every now and again to see how my daughter is progressing and what support we can offer her etc etc. It was an 8am meeting and for whatever reason I was not really ready to leave the house however I knew I had time to come back before I headed to work. Don't you love early morning stress!!!

So we rushed out, headscarf on and no make-up. This in itself made me very uncomfortable as I don't ever leave the house without being "ready", yet this was a 30 minute meeting with my daughters interventionist and I figured being on time was more important.

As we arrived, I felt self conscious, but I reasoned with myself not to be silly, that this meeting was nothing about me, so just to get over myself.

She started out with a concerned look and asked how I was. Not understanding what was behind her question, I answered, with a quick "fine" and began to move swiftly to the reason of our meeting. She was not allowing this, she then said with a worried look, "so how are you really?". Again I said "fine thank you" and moved on. She did not want to let it go and now I was getting annoyed. She clearly was thinking this woman has cancer and is denial, so she went for the jugular. "so how is everything with your health". I was so annoyed and flustered and not at all in the frame of mind to provide her with any kind of soothing facts or reassurance that I was in perfect health, that I was abrupt and probably quite rude, with another "I am fine thank you, really"

All that was going through my mind was that not only did I think I looked bad this morning leaving home so quickly without being made up and wigged, but here was this stranger confirming I looked ugly and seemingly terminally ill. I was really upset.

Anyway the meeting moved on and we achieved what we came for. As I was leaving, the woman, reached over and took my hand and said " Get well soon". The audacity of it!

I reiterated that I was in good health and left. I was not in the mood to explain about alopecia and its causes.

I was so upset and angry. Who needs to be told at 8am in the morning that you look ugly! Not me, thank you! 

So that was my moment of being brutally reminded that alopecia does leave a mark on you, it does change how you look, it makes you different from what society expects. It leaves you naked and scarred. And it leaves you with insecurities.

Yes I know the intent of the woman was care for my welfare and most likely that of my child, but really!!!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!