Hibernation

Just like my tortoise, I feel the need to hibernate.

She has been slowing down over the past few days, the night temperature has been dropping and she has been eating less, so all signs that she is ready for a winter snuggle down. So she was measured, photographed and weighed and placed in her sleeping chest in a bed of straw, locked down for the next few months.

I can't say I have been eating less, but I do feel the need to pull the blanket up earlier and closer in the evenings. I feel the pull of the cosiness more than usual.

Maybe humans are meant to hibernate too?

I hope mine is more of a transition to Autumn, but I am feeling a slowness and tiredness as the Summer closes out and the Winter draws in?

Anyone else feeling like this?

Any tips?

The whirr of the sewing machine

It is funny how it all comes back to you.

It's the whirring  of the machine, the sound of the fabric scissors cutting through fabric, the sight of the green quick unpick, the bright coloured pins, the multi-coloured bobbins and the bits of the fraying fabric lying all over the living room  It all conjured up memories of being a teenager when my mum was busy making something magical.

I haven't used a sewing machine for nigh on 20 years, however it all came back in a matter of seconds.  The senses become flooded with those stored away childhood moments, ones I hadn't accessed in years

I recall being encouraged to try things out, new material, new stitches, but always with the eagle eyes and clear direction from my mum. Fond memories. Shame I didn't realise how special it was at the time.

And today it was my turn to be that parent. Nuturing and teaching. Holding the space but ensuring safety and confidence.

My 8 year old has been begging to use the sewing machine so with the eldest out at a theme park, today was the day.

We got out all the tools, lots of thread and any old material. We started early.

Her ambition was scary. It was not about doing a pillow case or a scarf, she wanted to design and then make a handbag with a bottom and sides with applique shapes on the front.

 

I was torn between letting her make her own experience and giving her strong guidance on what works and what doesn't, yet I was keen not to quash any enthusiam through rules and frustration.

It was a wonderful day, with lots of excitement, enthusiam and suprisingly little frustration. 

I was left in awe of her talent and ambition and very keen to see how this all transpires.

Thanks mum for all the teaching, I hope I have passed on the love of the craft to the next generation!

The ideal day

On Sunday, we were faced with the prospect of no plans!

So before we spent the day just hanging around, playing on technology and getting into family fights, I decided to create a plan. I do like a good plan.

So I asked each of the girls to design their ideal day. Like mummy, they like a good list, so they eagerly grabbed a pen and paper and crafted their ideas for the day.

As we progressed through the day we ticked off the activities and without the exception of one thing (which was to write a story) we managed to do everything.

It ended up being a rather pleasant day with fewer fights, limited technology and a whole lot of fun.

If you had a free day, what would  you write on your list?

Who has had the biggest impact on you?

When asked the question who has impacted you most in your life, it's a tough one.

Many people rushed through my head and all of them have merit.
But when challenged with this question, I really wanted to think it through.
Who is it and more importantly why am I chosing them?

After a lot of soul searching I came up with a person.

I am not sure they are the person who has impacted me the most ever, however the impact they have had in my recent life, has been and remains profound.

The bizarre thing is, is that I don't even know their first name!

You see the person I chose is my hairdresser.

She was the lady who showed kindness and empathy at a moment in my life when I felt sad and alone.
She saw I needed help and instead of turning me away, she chose to invite me into her safe salon and give me what I needed in a way that worked for me. Kind yet pragmatic. No fuss yet helpful.

She saw a woman in her early thirties who was losing her hair and was feeling unattractive and very helpless. And with her smile and genuine care, she showed me that beauty can be found very easily. It just needed presence, focus and attention.

She didn't turn me away, she took me in and cared for my head and my soul.

She showed me that you can produce beauty from something seemingly ugly.
All it needed was a sprinkle of care.

For that, I will be eternally greatful.

So who has made an impact on your life?

Non Extended Dinner

I was on a leadership course a week or two ago and it was very intense! I love intense so it was fine.
One exercise that we were asked to conduct was to spontaneously give a speech for 2 mins on a given topic.

I like ambiguity and spontanuity so I got quite excited waiting for my question.

My question was: "What is eternal truth and what does it mean to you and your personal leadership?"

GULP!

As I was walking up to take the hotseat I was thinking, well this is the kind of question that some of my friends and I debate over dinner. Well kind of, but we can get philosophical quickly. So I reassured myself as I walked, that this was a topic that I could handle and should feel confident about. I had done it a million times before, yet usually over a bottle of wine!

So as I began speaking to the small audience as my 2 mins kicked off, the memory of my friends dinners' was on my mind, so instead of talking about eternal truth and my leadership, I instinctively plummeted to tell the story of how this particular of group of friends got together in the first place and the nature of our relationship.

I explained that it was a group of 4 women who over 10 years have grown together through thick and thin, international moves and babies, jobs, no jobs and life events. I explained that the rules of the gathering were clear. Only the same 4 people could attend, it was always at a nice venue, there was 100% committment to come and a at some point in the evening there would be a round table on life scores (1 to 10 on how we are doing). Only brutal honesty was accepted.

I got so passionate about this story and why it mattered and some how, brought it back to eternal truths. Honestly I dont know what I said but somehow I pulled it off.

What was wondeful about these 2 minutes, was how very easily it is to tell a story about something that matters, and in every story there are morals to be told. In my case of honesty, truths, committments and meaningful conversations.

So next time you are faced with a challenge, approach it with a smile and a nice memory. Maybe you will manage to spin a tale just like I did and when doing so, secretly honouring 4 wonderful women!

3 deep breathes

I am not sure how you receive this blog, some of you may have it sent to you via email automatically, others may go to the website and see whats new. However you access my musings, you will be intentionally chosing your time to read a few lines.

My assumption is that you have a few minutes to yourself and are allowing yourself to indulge in a little of something for you.

So today instead of reading, I invite you take three deep breathes. 

Just stop reading, put down your device and breathe deeply three times.

That's it for today.

Enjoy the gift. 

Cycling to Belgium

Each of us tell stories and often we forget them until a memory gets sparked.

I told this story recently and thought it worthy of capturing.

When I was in my early twenties I was living in Germany. I had a nice job and nice life. I was sharing a flat with 3 others and I was living close to my boyfriend (now husband), so we saw each other daily. We had a super bunch of friends, many of whom we are stil very close with, yet somehow I wanted more.

My job was not what I had hoped and I needed new pastures. After taking a few months of French lessons, I decided I wanted to lived in France. Paris was my first thought, but after discussing with my boyfriend, we decided Brussels would be a better choice, as they still speak French there and it was much closer so we could still see each other regulary.

So without much planning, I decided to move. I had very few things, so after handing in my notice on the flat and my job, it was just a case of packing a few bags. I was ready to go.

It seemed so easy.

I remember getting on the train with my bike and heading two hours to Brussels. Looking back how terrible my planning was. I had no job, no where to stay and actually no information on Brussels at all. So little information that I did not know which train stop to get out at - Brussels North Central or South. I had no idea. Yet none of this phased me, I am a born adventurer and this ambuiguity was exciting and not scary. I knew I could work it all out.

That night and the next I stayed in a youth hostel, and then I found a room with a woman and a few cats. It was cheap, nice enough and central. After trailing round a few job agencies within a week I had a temp job as a receptionist and two weeks later I landed another temp job in an office where I ended up staying for 7 years.

I never went back to Germany and my boyfriend moved to Belgium. The rest is history, however this story reminded me of the spirit of adventure that drove me and the courage to leave amazing things behind on the pursuit of more. It was a wonderful life decision.

So what stories do you have that remind you of your strengths, what adventures have you been on that tell the listener about choices you have made. Do tell.......

Living up to being bold

So at 7pm I decided to go down to the hotel lobby wearing my head scarf, I decided that as awkward and hard it was to not wear my wig, it was the right decision to leave it behind.

The scarf was the practical choice and the liberating choice. I kept reminding myself that there was no reason to hide the fact that I wear a wig, that it didn't really matter anway and honestly who actually cared?

So I took all my courage and went to the lobby.

I didnt make eye contact with anyone, I avoided looking at peoples reactions, I kind of slunk into the group and kept a low profile. I felt self conscious, in the first few moments, my insides were crying and I wanted to be swallowed up.

Yet as the minutes passed, conversations sparked up and normality prevailed. I become normal, it become normal. There was no issue. 

Today I went out with colleagues in my head scarf.

Today I was bold, bald and beautiful! 

Panic!

I am sitting in my hotel room at 17.53. I am meeting with a group of Senior Leaders from my company in 7 minutes in the hotel lobby.

We are going on a cycle ride round a city. 

Panic!!!

Do I wear my wig and be hugely uncomfortable for an hour with a helmet on. Worse still its drizzling.

Or do I put on my headscarf and go down with pride.

I am stressed. Confused.

This is a bad alopecia moment!

Agh!!!

The littlest of waves

As the Summer season closes in, routines come back. Music lessons, swim lessons and longer working days. For me also the travelling ramps up.

So today as I was leaving for the airport at 6.30am, I felt sadness in my tummy. I didn't want to leave my family. I didn't want to leave them behind.

Yet I pulled myself out of bed and got ready. 

Before I left the house I woke each of the kiddies up to give them a hug and told them I loved them. They were the sleepiest and warmest cuddles I have ever had. So tight and so full of love. I still feel them on my skin now.

As I jumped into the taxi, I looked up and saw the tiniest of waves. My youngest was at her bedroom window, barely visible. But the little face and waving hand were there to make out.

I was so glad I had looked back to see it. I was then able to smile and wave back.]

This memory fills my heart right now as I have my cup of tea between my hands in the airport lounge.

The warmth is lingering and the sight of the little face and waving hand fills me with gratitude.

I am loved. They are loved. I am so blessed.