Unprocessed thinking

Last night, in the pub chatting to some good friends, it rolled off my tongue. It was as if I had been saying it for weeks or months. It came out like I had fully processed the thought and was absolutely sure of its accuracy. It came out as a fact, something that I knew to be true, yet really I don't remember ever actually thinking this thought. At all.

So what was this statement that I made so clearly (with a beautifully chilled Hefeweizen in my hand?)

I said, "I love being 40. It's the best age ever and most likely the best decade. It's because I know myself. I know what I am good at and what I am not. I also know firmly what I want and what I don't. This means I have time to do everything that I chose to."

That was it. The truth as it appeared to me in that moment. It was quite honestly unprocessed, unanalysed and unarticulated til that moment. So is this what I really believe????

Well quite possibly yes.

That said I have loved every age. I had great teenage years at school. I loved my 6th form. Early twenties and University days were absolutely fantastic, I mean really amazing. My first jobs were brilliant, as was having money in my late twenties (not forgetting those luncheon vouchers!) to go fine dining and drinking in Brussels. Then came the thirties with the phase of motherhood and career growth. A real whirlwind but rich and intense. Late thirties brought adrenalin and new hobbies and lust for life and then I enter my forties. Maybe it's just that I appreciated each phase for what it was. Or maybe life just keeps getting better. Yes in all these phases there have been hard times and sadness, but none of this has dominated a decade or a phase.

So as I said this, I knew it was true. What I love about this phase is that it's an honest phase. It's about doing what's right for my ecosystem and not for anyone else. It's about being a good employee but not at the cost of what matters. It's about choosing consciously and deliberately for my community and it's about being bold when needed, being bald and enjoying it and it's about seeing the real beauty around. Seeing it everywhere, seeing all the time and finding it in everyone.
So yes this decade rocks!

Even if I can't go out partying two days in a row anymore, and possibly even prefer a sofa and a blanket to a night out! 

Dreams

Do you look like yourself in your dreams? Do you even know what you look like?

I think I dream of myself with hair.

That said, I do find it very hard to conjure up any images from my dreams. Like anyone else I forget my dreams within minutes of my waking, but often I try to remember what I looked like in my dreams but can't recall it.

Even this morning, waking after a vivid dream, I immediately began to recall images of myself. Yet I couldn't, however somehow I think I have a full head of flowing brown hair. Just like it used to be, but most likely shinier and more beautiful.

Do people who lose a leg, dream of themselves with two? Do people who move house, picture themself living in the old one?

Anyone got a clue about dreams and why we appear how we do?

I am curious......

Wednesday wish

Today, once again, not the usual blog.

I am having too much of a nice time to hang on my computer. I am not checking email, Facebook or my blog stats. I seem to be spending my time playing board games, putting playmobile together and eating home made biscuits. Lovely.

So my wish for you today is that you are also finding time to do things you love,  time to do different things and hopefully enjoying those people you are lucky enough to be with, however short that time may be.

I am filled with gratitude for what I have.

I know I am one of the lucky ones.

May your Wednesday be filled with things that you are grateful for.

Happy holidays dear readers, happy holidays.

Christmas traditions

I love Christmas. I love planning for Christmas and I love the run up and all the activities.  I love getting the children involved and sharing their excitement.

Christmas is rich with memories for me, good ones, fun ones, family ones. It was an exciting time and full of magic.

I wish for the same for my children.

So I have been deliberate this year about activities for the kids and in choosing ones that we can ritulaise and continue year after year.  Traditions are important and repeated ones are really what we remember, whether we love them or hate them.

So here are the deliberate Christmas traditions I have begun embedding for the kids.

The kiddies make their own advent calendar with tinfoil and goodies
They write to Santa and send the letter themselves
We make a gingerbread house
We have an elf, namely the "elf on the shelf" for those of you who know him. We hide him daily and he is called Uddle.
The girls receive a new dress for Christmas day, pretty and colourful
We listen to Christmas carols whenever we can
The kids chose the Christmas tree and we decorate it together

So that is our list, nothing fancy, but things we can do year in year out.

So what do you do? How long have you been doing it? What is natural, what do you intentionally? Do you think traditions matter or is this too structured for this magical season?

Do tell.......

Mayan apocalypse

On Fridays I always blog about hair or lack of it, but not today. There is a subject way more pressing. The world is coming to an end. And more importantly I did not know. How could I have missed this?
And here is how I found out............

In the mornings I often call my friends and family in Europe. It is a great time for me in terms of energy, brain space and time difference. I often have the best conversations and I really enjoy them. In fact when I am back in their time zone, I know I will miss these random (their time) afternoon chats.

Anyway, today I had the pleasure to chat to my sensible friend (this is what she calls herself ;-).

As I was detailing to her my travel plans for the Christmas holidays, she realized that I would be in the air when the world comes to and end! What? I had no clue what was she on about? The world is coming to an end? No one told me! What am I missing? Help!

Apparently the Brits are stocking up on their baked beans to prepare for the events that are about to unfold. Really? I tell you, if the world was coming to an end, it’s not baked beans I would be eating, but that is digressing.

So my curiosity got the better of me and after a few minutes googling here is what I found: 

This Friday on 21st December 2012, at the winter solstice, planet Earth will go out with a bang. This is the prediction of the Mayans.  This will mark the end of 5125-year-long cycle. 

I am so confused? Whose solstice? EST or GMT?

So will I be saved if I am in the air at this time. Where the hell will we land?

Anyway let me know what you are doing to prepare and when (or if) it actually happens.

If not, see you back for Mondays blog :-)

The perfect job

I picked up a book recently called "I could do anything if only I knew what it was". I like books like this. Books that challenge and question why we do what we do.  One of the exercises in the book was to design the perfect job. It encourages you not to stick within constraints or boundaries, but to put together anything and everything you enjoy.

So here comes mine.

I would be always with people, nice people, crazy people, colorful people, eccentric people, fun people, miserable people. I would probably be offering them a service. That service would come with a conversation and in those few minutes I would make their day a little bit better. Maybe through an observation, a joke or a kind word.

The place where this would happen would be in a community. I would be surrounded by sustainable things and good things, maybe it's organic food or fair trade coffee. Maybe it's an environment where recycling and homemade is valued. However this would be a profitable business and financially lucrative. The success of the undertaking would be visible.  Our friends would come by a lot.

It would be a place where my husband would be present. Not necessarily working with him, but somehow interacting and possibly in the same space. I would be called upon for opinions and direction. For my vision and big picture view. I would be the voice of reason. People would genuinely like being with me and seek out my advise. No one would be mean to one another and people would care. There would be laughter and time for silliness, yet it would be a place for serious exchanges, getting stuff done and for receiving help.

There would be no performance appraisals. No gossip. Noone doing things for the next job or the looming promotion, but tasks would done for the benefit of the business and with people for the benefit of people.

We would all work hard. All in ways that make sense for us. Ways that deploy our strengths. I would work more with my brain, than with my hands. I would supervise and not do. I would have willing people to delegate to.

Most days there would be sun in the building, others the snow would be reflecting light through the glass. Either way, there would always be brightness.

Yes that's the place I want to work?

Whats yours? Go on think it out.

Invisible inconveniences

There are many women out there who are suffering silently.

I am not talking about physical or medical ailments, there are many people out there most definitely quietly getting on with life in pain and suffering, however I am talking about the other stuff. The inconvenient things that really get us down.

They are thankfully not medical conditions which cause suffering, yet the hassle and sheer organization around these inconveniences goes unnoticed. There is no sympathy for these things. No sympathy at all.

So what exactly am I talking about?

It's the women with the oversized breasts that need to dress differently to not seem inappropriate. I am talking about the women with facial hair that need constant attention. What about the skin disorders that go hidden beneath the strategic wardrobe, masking the flakiness and rawness.
What about the tattoo that was done, over twenty years ago, that despite multiple laser treatments just does not budge.  What about the strong grey hair roots that need attention every two weeks for us to look presentable. Then there is the awful, unspoken one of heavy periods and hormonal imbalance the days before.  There is such a whole lot going on that is hidden from the world.

I don't consider any of the women I know, who battle with the above, particularly vein. They may wish to look nice and have moments where they brush up for particular occasions, yet these women, struggle with these inconveniences daily. They don't make a fuss about them as they dont hurt, nor do they wish to draw attention to these things. Yet I know each day they find ways to hide their specialness and the things that make them them. 

To all of you wonderful ladies, out there managing your invisible inconveniences in a way that makes you feel normal , I would like to propose a toast. A toast to speacialness and beauty.

Do my kids think I have hair?

Children still ask odd questions, even when they know it's not possible.
Is it because they haven't understood that I have no hair. Is it because that they forget? Or is it something else?

At the swimming pool, my 9 year old declared she liked drying her hair with the swimming pool machines. She then said why don't you try it mum?

I matter of factly told her, that the reason I don't dry my hair like that, is that I do not have any hair to dry. She said "oh ok" and carried on with her business.
No issue, no confusion, just an "oh ok!"

In a similar fashion, the other day my 5 year old asked if she could brush my hair. I said that it wasn't possible, as I had no hair. Just like the elder one, she said "oh" and just carried on.

I find it very cute that they want to include me in their hair fun activities and that, for a moment, they don't understand that the request they are making is not possible. It reminds me that being hairless does not define me and that it really isn't something that my children think about nor worry about. 

There is no taboo on the subject and my interpretation is that my bald head is irrelevant to them, as it should be. They see me like they see themselves, and they include me in their hair fun and allow me to define the exclusion rules not them.

I like being included even though I can't actually be. But the mere fact that I am asked is very warming.

Kids you rock and I love you for seeing me through your lens.

Men's hobbies and down time

A while ago, a few friends were over and we began debating hobbies. We started dividing up men's and women's hobbies. Clearly making massive generalizations and stereotyping.

The men's hobbies went something like this:

Fishing
Hunting
Beer making
Golfing
BBQ ing
Watching Formula one racing
Poker
Watching sport

Women's hobbies went something like this:
Reading
Crafts
Getting their nails done
Baking
Organizing
Exercise
Shopping

Forgive me if these lists are offensive or shameful, but at some level they resonated with us.
So the conversation went towards men's hobbies including downtime, so you club the ball then you walk, you toss in the fishing line then you wait, you put the meat on the grill, then you chat, you stir the hops then you wait, get the picture? Up then down, up then down. 

Whereas the women's hobbies were more social or more consistently active, there wasn't this up and down rhythm. More sustained and permanent movement. Was this just preference or do women view this downtime as a waste of time? Do women have the need to fill downtime with stuff. Yet, we discussed, the downtime really is as important as the up time. At least that's what the boys said.

We even compared this downtime to prehistoric tendencies, namely the downtime is the mental preparation for the kill. We paralleled it to war, you train, you rest.
So are men just Neanderthals or soldiers? Are men finding hobbies that fill this primeval need.

Or we're we just talking a pile of Friday afternoon drink induced rubbish?

I figure it's the latter, but I do so love these silly provocative exchanges.

Make your own observations about what the people around you spend their time doing, and see what you find.

The four values

Often in the corporate world, company values are spoken about. There may even be a list on "Guiding Principles" which outline expected behaviours of particular teams. There is no harm in having them, possibly even some good. However the real value lies in living them, not having them written on a poster in the meeting room.

Having worked in a number of environments and been part of many senior leadership teams, I have seen various versions of company values. Each slightly different, with their own twist. Some have 2 or 3, others have a list of 10. I am not knocking them, but it is sad that we need to have them to explain what good behaviour looks like. One would think, that at a certain stage of life, people should know how to behave. Right?

Anyway, following a conversation with a friend, a friend who has spent time with First Nations folk, she explained that many tribes have four values. They are universal and are spread across many geographies.

When I heard the four, a light when on. Bling! Of course!

That's right, that's all you need. Four. That's all you need either within a family, in the community or in the workplace. So why is it we spend time looking for others, that may seem more pertinent and tailored to us, but really the truth lies in the below four.

Care, Share, respect and teach
I repeat. Care, share, respect and teach

I don't see anything missing.

If all those things were present and everyone was abiding by those four simple principles, life would be just fine. Families would function better, professionals would interact more smoothly and life, well life would be that little bit better.

If we had our disagreements, yet we're respectful and cared about each other, wouldn't that be ok?

If we damaged someone's property or accidentally hurt someone, if we went about repairing the damage with care and respect, wouldn't there be a way to work it out and make things better?

Care, share, respect and teach.

So I think I will begin citing these four simple words, when asked about what place I wish to work and what climate I thrive in.

How simple the truth can be.

So who has alopecia?

A question from Mr Nosey a while ago still needs an answer. So who has alopecia?

It is quite difficult to know who has alopecia and who doesn't. For example, if the condition is alopecia areata it happens only in patches and these can be disguised or hidden with remaining hair.

Also those with complete hairloss, namely alopecia totalis or universalis, then a good fitting wig can be worn completely, hiding the condition. Thus we only really know about those people who come out of the "bald closet".

That said there are a few famous faces, that have either declared their condition or the media has alledged that they are suffering from it.  Some of them are entertaining like: Kojak! Even I had forgotten about him.

Then there are some sports people like the swimmers Duncan Goodhew and Staciana Stitts.  And most recently more famous, Joanna Rowsell (British track cycling champion) who I blogged about during the London Olympics.

Here are some others, surprising how many there are.

Christopher Reeve, aka Superman
Gail Porter, a British TV presenter
Princess Caroline of Monaco
Pier Luigi Collina, Italian football/soccer referree
Neve Campbell, a Canadian actress
Toni Warne, the girl who was recently on the TV show "The voice"
David Duchovny, actor X files
Matt Lucas, the hilarious British actor, in Little Britain and Shooting Stars
Friar Tuck, the fictitious fat and jovial monk, who is Robin Hood's friend
Phyllis Diller, a Canadian comedian who recently died at age 95
Margaret Baker, a beautiful American model, who is gloriously bald

And these are the ones I am aware of.

So this is just a reminder of the prevalence of the condition, and how in some cases, we don't actually realize that they are bald. They just look that way!

Let me know who else you know.

Passports, travel and the Chinese

I travel a lot for my job and have done for over ten years. Some people would find the schedule grueling, however I generally enjoy it, when it does not sneak into the weekends.

I have a few habits which are specifically related to airports and business travel.
The first is what I read. I always pick up newspapers when I am in an airport. This is probably because they are free of charge in most business lounges, but I really do look forward to the broadblatt and flicking through the long pages. I always learn lots of new things and see things from other angles. Clearly I also have the time to read all the articles, even the small ones in the back, which undoubtedly contributes to the overall positve experience!

The second thing I typically do is spend time actually looking at my passport. It's the only time I ever examine the pages, look at the border control stamps, study the photo and really look at every detail.

So this week, I have been on four planes and here are my observations.

1. I like my passport. In the front it reads "Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State Requests and requires in the Name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance, and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary."  I was at first surprised at the use of capital letters and the punctuation, it somehow seemed wrong, but that aside, I really liked the way it sounded. My country was asking for me to be looked after when traveling. That felt good. Not sure whether they ever will protect me should I be in the unfortunate position where I need their help, but right now it feels reassuring. Thank you your Majesty.

2. The newspaper. Today's article that grabbed me was about passports. The Chinese have printed a map of China in their new passports, which on the surface seems pretty reasonable and benign. However on their map, they have included territories that disputably belong to Taiwan, India and Vietnam.  
Hilarious. You gotta love their audacity! Maybe not the best way to solve international disputes and nurture relations.

So that's the blog for today. Travel, habits and passports. So go look at your passport, what will your country do when you need help? Let me know.

PS. There was no Airport fury today as I wore my wig! I flew through.

Wording on a bag

There is a lovely leisurewear store here, that everyone loves.  www.lululemon.ca

They have great fashion, taste and comfort.

One of my favourite thing about buying anything there, is the bag they give you.

It has lots of cool sayings and quotes on the side.

The one I like most is this:

"Do something that scares you at least once every day"

I love it! Go do it. Go on.

I would write more, but I need to go skydive off the top of the building!