Comical descriptions

Round the table we got describing ourselves in the worst possible light.

It got started by one person saying how their friend had actually introduced themself the very first time they had met.  Apparently he had said "Hi I am a gay pianist from London". I guess it beats saying "Hi I am Paul or Fred or James!

So what would yours be?

Some of my friends volunteered the following:


I am a foreign Morris Dancer


I am a hairy Ozzie


Mine was, "I am a bald wannabe ice hockey player."

So what is yours?

Go on, be spontaneous and make yourself laugh!

I doubt you will let me know, but have a go, just for the hell of it!