When I finish reading a book, I need a few days before I can pick up the next one.
I feel so disloyal abandoning the characters, leaving the lives of the people behind who were so present in the previous book, the book that has had me absorbed for so many weeks.
After finishing my book on Saturday afternoon, a rare treat, sitting outside in the glorious sunshine, I felt very satisfied. However last night, Sunday evening, I picked up the next book.
However I had to put it down again.
The characters seemed empty and the plot seemed to be very weak.
I could not get into it.
Then I remembered that this is often how I feel when I finish a book, that has pulled me in.
It seems that I need more time to process the end, put the characters to rest and let time pass before the next adventure begins.
I guess thats why book clubs are so popular, they allow you to do find closure on a story, collectively.
So I will leave my new book on my bedside for a few more nights.
Anyone else get this sensation?
It is what you do not say
I was told that I write in a way that makes alopecia sound ok.
Yet she went on to tell me that, when you read between the lines of my alopecia blogs, it is not what I do say but what I do not say.
She said, it is clear that alopecia is not yet OK for you.
You still worry about it.
You still compensate for it.
You are not comfortable with it.
You still hide it.
The question she left with me was, then why do you pretend it is ok?
Today the inquiry question, I often leave at the end of my blogs, is for me.
Yet she went on to tell me that, when you read between the lines of my alopecia blogs, it is not what I do say but what I do not say.
She said, it is clear that alopecia is not yet OK for you.
You still worry about it.
You still compensate for it.
You are not comfortable with it.
You still hide it.
The question she left with me was, then why do you pretend it is ok?
Today the inquiry question, I often leave at the end of my blogs, is for me.
Keeping it real
Today I was called into my daughters school.
One of my daughters was being bullied by two others and it had escalated. The teacher apparently had thrown the boys out of the class, as she was apparently disgusted with what she had witnessed.
The parents of the children doing the bullying were being brought in for a discussion, with the school counsellor and the teacher.
I dropped everything and cycled like the wind to the school to be there.
My heart was pumping, how could anyone bully my little girl. She is so good and kind.
I have to say the teacher was amazing. She knew the right words to say and described the situation with such clarity, to the children, to the parents. Calmly, fact based, yet with kindess and empathy.
Her opening words to my daughter were:
"It is not your fault"
"You have the support of everyone"
Its the things she needed to hear.
After listening intently to the teacher, my little girl said:, "I have one question"
"Why do they do it?"
My heart melted.
Her innocence and goodness, could not fathom why anyone would do this to her.
Why do they do it?
The explanation is of course complicated, but the question broke my heart.
So that's todays blog. Just keeping it real.
One of my daughters was being bullied by two others and it had escalated. The teacher apparently had thrown the boys out of the class, as she was apparently disgusted with what she had witnessed.
The parents of the children doing the bullying were being brought in for a discussion, with the school counsellor and the teacher.
I dropped everything and cycled like the wind to the school to be there.
My heart was pumping, how could anyone bully my little girl. She is so good and kind.
I have to say the teacher was amazing. She knew the right words to say and described the situation with such clarity, to the children, to the parents. Calmly, fact based, yet with kindess and empathy.
Her opening words to my daughter were:
"It is not your fault"
"You have the support of everyone"
Its the things she needed to hear.
After listening intently to the teacher, my little girl said:, "I have one question"
"Why do they do it?"
My heart melted.
Her innocence and goodness, could not fathom why anyone would do this to her.
Why do they do it?
The explanation is of course complicated, but the question broke my heart.
So that's todays blog. Just keeping it real.
My care bear cookbook
My 10 year old, is capable of now cooking a simple dinner. Spaghetti with home made tomato sauce (garlic, onions, tomatoes, basil). I think it is so important for us to teach the kids to cook, especially cheap and healthy meals.
I don’t recall learning to cook at home, I kind of taught myself at college. I will not blame my mum for this, as I would assume I just wasn’t interested, and my kind mum, let me get away with this.
Despite my lack of interest and helping at home, at school it was different. There was an obligation.
At school we had lessons.
As a result, I do have a hand written cook book. I created it following my cookery classes at school, in fact I think they were called Domestic Education lessons, not cookery lessons. Either way I still have it and still use it.
What I like about the recipes, is there simplicity.
Victoria sponge cake
Flap jacks
Pancakes
Etc
What I find cute and a little embarrassing when other people pick up the book, is the fact that I rated the recipes with scores out of ten, and with my verbatim thoughts. 8/10 – would do it again, 6/10 too sweet.
Maybe I missed my calling as a food critic????
Do you have something from your school days that you hang on to??
I don’t recall learning to cook at home, I kind of taught myself at college. I will not blame my mum for this, as I would assume I just wasn’t interested, and my kind mum, let me get away with this.
Despite my lack of interest and helping at home, at school it was different. There was an obligation.
At school we had lessons.
As a result, I do have a hand written cook book. I created it following my cookery classes at school, in fact I think they were called Domestic Education lessons, not cookery lessons. Either way I still have it and still use it.
What I like about the recipes, is there simplicity.
Victoria sponge cake
Flap jacks
Pancakes
Etc
What I find cute and a little embarrassing when other people pick up the book, is the fact that I rated the recipes with scores out of ten, and with my verbatim thoughts. 8/10 – would do it again, 6/10 too sweet.
Maybe I missed my calling as a food critic????
Do you have something from your school days that you hang on to??
Are you a pirate?
A little boy asked me recently, if I was dressed as a pirate.
On realising why he was asking, I simply answered yes.
It was an easier answer than, "No I am not a pirate, I have an auto immune condition that made my hair fall out and as a result I wear hats as wigs make my head itch"
So yes, I told him, I was a pirate. He seemed perfectly fine with that.
However a little while later, my six year old, who had overheard the conversation, came and whispered to me.
She said, "Mummy you are not a pirate, you are wearing a head scarf."
She seemed very concerned that the boy was mocking me, although I don't believe he was at all.
It was heart warming to see how protective my little one was of me and how she wanted to check that he had not offended me in anyway.
I reassured her that it was OK.
I felt happy to be a pirate anyway.
See Alopecia has its cool side!
On realising why he was asking, I simply answered yes.
It was an easier answer than, "No I am not a pirate, I have an auto immune condition that made my hair fall out and as a result I wear hats as wigs make my head itch"
So yes, I told him, I was a pirate. He seemed perfectly fine with that.
However a little while later, my six year old, who had overheard the conversation, came and whispered to me.
She said, "Mummy you are not a pirate, you are wearing a head scarf."
She seemed very concerned that the boy was mocking me, although I don't believe he was at all.
It was heart warming to see how protective my little one was of me and how she wanted to check that he had not offended me in anyway.
I reassured her that it was OK.
I felt happy to be a pirate anyway.
See Alopecia has its cool side!
A good restaurant?
I love going out for meals.
I love the simple Italian and I love the Michelin posh. I really don’t mind. Either way I do love a good night out with good, honest food.
So what constitutes a good restaurant?
One thing that the Swiss do well (and it is not cook by the way) is to have only one sitting in a restaurant. In some parts of the world, you chose the early or the late dinner to allow the restaurant to have two sittings at the table. I hate that.
It really ruins the experience. It takes away the chance to laze around, maybe taking a digestif, just taking your time to enjoy the environment and relax. So a good restaurant is one with only one sitting.
Another thing I love is excellent service. Professional waiters who know their job and do it as a career and not just for extra money. For me there is nothing more impressive than a waiter/waitress, taking the tables order and not writing it down. I am so impressed by their memory for the detail, the complete order and who gets what. To me that is a dying art and when I see it, I love it.
The last thing I like, is when they serve you drinks very quickly. I really dislike having to grab the attention of a waiter to order a beer or an aperitif, 10 minutes after I have arrived. Clearly there is a period of time when its nice to settle in, look around, peruse the menu, have a little chat, but then, the drinks need to be ordered. Having to flag down the waiter drives me nuts.
Clearly in addition to this the food needs to be excellent, but that goes without saying!!!
What are your restaurant criteria??
I love the simple Italian and I love the Michelin posh. I really don’t mind. Either way I do love a good night out with good, honest food.
So what constitutes a good restaurant?
One thing that the Swiss do well (and it is not cook by the way) is to have only one sitting in a restaurant. In some parts of the world, you chose the early or the late dinner to allow the restaurant to have two sittings at the table. I hate that.
It really ruins the experience. It takes away the chance to laze around, maybe taking a digestif, just taking your time to enjoy the environment and relax. So a good restaurant is one with only one sitting.
Another thing I love is excellent service. Professional waiters who know their job and do it as a career and not just for extra money. For me there is nothing more impressive than a waiter/waitress, taking the tables order and not writing it down. I am so impressed by their memory for the detail, the complete order and who gets what. To me that is a dying art and when I see it, I love it.
The last thing I like, is when they serve you drinks very quickly. I really dislike having to grab the attention of a waiter to order a beer or an aperitif, 10 minutes after I have arrived. Clearly there is a period of time when its nice to settle in, look around, peruse the menu, have a little chat, but then, the drinks need to be ordered. Having to flag down the waiter drives me nuts.
Clearly in addition to this the food needs to be excellent, but that goes without saying!!!
What are your restaurant criteria??
The "Should" monkey
A few years ago, I embarked on a psychology course. It was fascinating. If I got the chance to study again I think I would do psychology.
At that time, I did the course for mental stimulation, rather than for improving my skills for my job, but I am sure some of the insights made me think a little different also in the workplace.
One learning that sticks out in my memory, that I frequently use,is the use of the word “should”.
In the course, we were taught that when anyone used the word “should”, particularly in a coaching or therapy session, they were speaking through / for someone else.
For example, I should go to the gym,
I should go to bed earlier,
I should learn French,
I should get a new job,
I should spend more time with the kids.
Sound familiar?????
What we were taught was that when we use the word “should”, we are saying what someone else wants us to do, eg a parent, a spouse, society. We are not talking about what we want or what we intend to do. In short, we have not really bought into the concept, otherwise we would be saying, I am going to start running, I have plans to go to night school.
Should is the voice of someone else and most likely we are not convinced of the change or the action, we are taking about.
So what do you think you “should” you be doing? Who said so? Are you really going to do it? Or are you just staying that because you believe that is what is expected? Who is the voice of your “should”?
Since my awareness of this, I have started using the word less and less and also notice when my friends use it.
So why don’t you watch for the word and see what you uncover.
You should you know!
At that time, I did the course for mental stimulation, rather than for improving my skills for my job, but I am sure some of the insights made me think a little different also in the workplace.
One learning that sticks out in my memory, that I frequently use,is the use of the word “should”.
In the course, we were taught that when anyone used the word “should”, particularly in a coaching or therapy session, they were speaking through / for someone else.
For example, I should go to the gym,
I should go to bed earlier,
I should learn French,
I should get a new job,
I should spend more time with the kids.
Sound familiar?????
What we were taught was that when we use the word “should”, we are saying what someone else wants us to do, eg a parent, a spouse, society. We are not talking about what we want or what we intend to do. In short, we have not really bought into the concept, otherwise we would be saying, I am going to start running, I have plans to go to night school.
Should is the voice of someone else and most likely we are not convinced of the change or the action, we are taking about.
So what do you think you “should” you be doing? Who said so? Are you really going to do it? Or are you just staying that because you believe that is what is expected? Who is the voice of your “should”?
Since my awareness of this, I have started using the word less and less and also notice when my friends use it.
So why don’t you watch for the word and see what you uncover.
You should you know!
Going swimming
For the last few years, I have worn a swim hat when going swimming. It's kind of an old fashioned looking one with flowers on. I think its rather sweet, if not a little retro.
It looks a little like this (and no this is not me!)
However today I forget to pack it.
I was out for a family outing at a swimming complex, where we were spending the whole day. It's a place with many slides and pools and hours of splashing fun.
Luckily I was weraring a head scarf when we arrived, so it was kind of easy for this to double up as a swim cap, but getting it too wet would be upleasant, as then I would have to suffer a damp and cold head for the remains of the day.
So I made no fuss, and just wore my head scarf, but it did mean I had to avoid the big splash fun stuff.
That was not fun.
I like being the fun mum, who goes on all the slides and rides, but today, my conditon got in the way.
I suppose I could have not let it, and opted for the bald approach. But alas, no. I went for the boring mum approach of " Don't worry, I will just watch".
So today was an avoidance day. It was unfortuntate.
Next time I will just have to pack better.
Sigh.
It looks a little like this (and no this is not me!)
However today I forget to pack it.
I was out for a family outing at a swimming complex, where we were spending the whole day. It's a place with many slides and pools and hours of splashing fun.
Luckily I was weraring a head scarf when we arrived, so it was kind of easy for this to double up as a swim cap, but getting it too wet would be upleasant, as then I would have to suffer a damp and cold head for the remains of the day.
So I made no fuss, and just wore my head scarf, but it did mean I had to avoid the big splash fun stuff.
That was not fun.
I like being the fun mum, who goes on all the slides and rides, but today, my conditon got in the way.
I suppose I could have not let it, and opted for the bald approach. But alas, no. I went for the boring mum approach of " Don't worry, I will just watch".
So today was an avoidance day. It was unfortuntate.
Next time I will just have to pack better.
Sigh.
Diaries and letters
Having a few nights on my own, as the family are with the in-laws for a week, I took the opportunity to sift out some rubbish.
I don't consider myself a hoarder, however over the years I have hung on to many sentimental things that have begun to stack up.
Here are some of the things I chose to dispose of:
Old letters from my early to late teens (ie before email)
I began reading them, but at some point I had to stop. They were cringey and embarrasing. I decided they were not really for anyone elses viewing and although they did refresh the memory and the past events, I decided that there was no value keeping them all. My memory of the events was already good and the details, were really not required to rehash!
Clearly some of the letters I held onto, including letters from my mum and my Great Uncle, some cards with poems from my creative friends. But by and large, they were recycled. Bye bye!
One bunch I did keep, were the ones from my now-husband, these were truly beautiful. We really were in love.
My old diaires
Boy did I write a lot in my youth.
I started as of the age of 13, and wrote daily in a diary til my mid twenties. Its no wonder I became I blogger.
These I re read, but yet will destroy, as they serve no value to others.
The insights I got were as follows:
As a teenager I was always saying I was "bored". School was most defintely documented as "boring"
Although I wrote a lot, I documented events rather than feelings
I was always with friends
I overthought stuff
I was always falling out with my friends
I had way too much fun at college (its a wonder I ever graduated give all the parties)
I went to Sunday School and Girl Guides religiously
So are you holding on to this kind of stuff?
Do you think I was brutal, getting rid of it all?
Should I do the same with my photos?
Let me know,
BBB xx
I don't consider myself a hoarder, however over the years I have hung on to many sentimental things that have begun to stack up.
Here are some of the things I chose to dispose of:
Old letters from my early to late teens (ie before email)
I began reading them, but at some point I had to stop. They were cringey and embarrasing. I decided they were not really for anyone elses viewing and although they did refresh the memory and the past events, I decided that there was no value keeping them all. My memory of the events was already good and the details, were really not required to rehash!
Clearly some of the letters I held onto, including letters from my mum and my Great Uncle, some cards with poems from my creative friends. But by and large, they were recycled. Bye bye!
One bunch I did keep, were the ones from my now-husband, these were truly beautiful. We really were in love.
My old diaires
Boy did I write a lot in my youth.
I started as of the age of 13, and wrote daily in a diary til my mid twenties. Its no wonder I became I blogger.
These I re read, but yet will destroy, as they serve no value to others.
The insights I got were as follows:
As a teenager I was always saying I was "bored". School was most defintely documented as "boring"
Although I wrote a lot, I documented events rather than feelings
I was always with friends
I overthought stuff
I was always falling out with my friends
I had way too much fun at college (its a wonder I ever graduated give all the parties)
I went to Sunday School and Girl Guides religiously
So are you holding on to this kind of stuff?
Do you think I was brutal, getting rid of it all?
Should I do the same with my photos?
Let me know,
BBB xx
Just gardening
It is 18 degrees and we are on holiday - in the garden.
I have found myself making daisy chains, BBQ-ing and now gardening.
We have decided to redesign one area and rip out the ivy and roots to make a glorious sitting area.
So as a result, we are gardening in the sun!!
And guess what, I am loving it.
The family together, kids in the trees, t-shirts on.
Happy days.
Did someone say it was snowing in Montreal :-)
Did someone say I hate gardening.
See over 40's can still change. Lets see for how long!
I have found myself making daisy chains, BBQ-ing and now gardening.
We have decided to redesign one area and rip out the ivy and roots to make a glorious sitting area.
So as a result, we are gardening in the sun!!
And guess what, I am loving it.
The family together, kids in the trees, t-shirts on.
Happy days.
Did someone say it was snowing in Montreal :-)
Did someone say I hate gardening.
See over 40's can still change. Lets see for how long!
A visit to the Chemist
Whilst popping into the chemists with my daughter, to pick up a prescription, she pointed something out.
She said "Mummy, look at that. You should have taken that, then your hair would not have fallen out. "
She said "Mummy, look at that. You should have taken that, then your hair would not have fallen out. "
What surprised me most, is her awareness of my alopecia. I had just walked past this advert, just inside the entrance of the chemist, without a flicker of attention. Oblivious.
Yet my daughter had not. My lack of hair, really seems to be on her mind. She had read the advert and made a link to my condition.
Now I believe that this disease is too strong for any such remedy. It really does what it wants and takes over its subject, yet who knows.
Either way, my daughter has a high sensitivity to my hair loss and a willingness to help.
Just a little Friday alopecia story. My baldness is with me everyday, in some shape or form. This was todays reminder.
Snap Happy
I love playing games. Board games, card games, guessing games. I make them up, when in cars or at a dinner table with friends.
I think being playful accesses different parts of our personalities.
It also helps to knock down barriers. Also games come in quite handy at work dinners, as quite honestly, it makes them far more interesting.
Today's post however is about a particular board game from my childhood.
Luckily my parents kept all of our games and a number of years ago, I brought them all into our family home. My sister didn't mind, she disliked playing them anyway.
The kids are now of an age where playing board games is possible and great fun.
The game I selected for the weekend fun was called "Snap Happy". It's a holiday game where the winner is the one who goes on all the excursions and takes photos of the locations first.
So considering the game was produced over 30 years ago, you will need to cast your memory back to international travel back then.
In the game, there is a pretend camera where you take pictures, or rather pull out a card from a black plastic box, with a picture of a boat or a beach on.
However, just like in the old days, you first have to buy a camera film with either travellers cheques or Spanish pesetas.
The kids thought this was brilliant, really innovative and creative. Positively cool and out there.
Little did they realise this was the reality just 10 years ago.
This game has now become a family favourite. A classic, you could say.
"Snap Happy" in its simplicity and surprising excitement, ticks all the boxes for our family fun. And you don't even need batteries.
What is your favourite family game. Do you also have an old chestnut from the eighties??
They don't make them like they used to.
(And now I sound like my parents too!!!)
I think being playful accesses different parts of our personalities.
It also helps to knock down barriers. Also games come in quite handy at work dinners, as quite honestly, it makes them far more interesting.
Today's post however is about a particular board game from my childhood.
Luckily my parents kept all of our games and a number of years ago, I brought them all into our family home. My sister didn't mind, she disliked playing them anyway.
The kids are now of an age where playing board games is possible and great fun.
The game I selected for the weekend fun was called "Snap Happy". It's a holiday game where the winner is the one who goes on all the excursions and takes photos of the locations first.
So considering the game was produced over 30 years ago, you will need to cast your memory back to international travel back then.
In the game, there is a pretend camera where you take pictures, or rather pull out a card from a black plastic box, with a picture of a boat or a beach on.
However, just like in the old days, you first have to buy a camera film with either travellers cheques or Spanish pesetas.
The kids thought this was brilliant, really innovative and creative. Positively cool and out there.
Little did they realise this was the reality just 10 years ago.
This game has now become a family favourite. A classic, you could say.
"Snap Happy" in its simplicity and surprising excitement, ticks all the boxes for our family fun. And you don't even need batteries.
What is your favourite family game. Do you also have an old chestnut from the eighties??
They don't make them like they used to.
(And now I sound like my parents too!!!)
Relief
Every sport has one. The relief you feel when you take an action to release the pressure, even the pain, that a particular sports equipment, has given you, for the duration of its usage.
Some examples:
Taking your ski boots off after a long day on the slopes.
Getting off your racing bike after a few hours of cycling.
Taking off your ice hockey helmet after a game.
Removing ice skates after a few hours at the rink.
Each release provides an "arrrr" effect.
And a cool beer helps that little bit more.
Any "arrrrr" effects going on out there???
Some examples:
Taking your ski boots off after a long day on the slopes.
Getting off your racing bike after a few hours of cycling.
Taking off your ice hockey helmet after a game.
Removing ice skates after a few hours at the rink.
Each release provides an "arrrr" effect.
And a cool beer helps that little bit more.
Any "arrrrr" effects going on out there???
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