Airport fury

It is always with a feeling of I trepidation that I approach airport security. I think most people sense a feeling of guilt as the pass through security. Don't they? With a sense of panic, I wonder, have I got water or lipgloss hidden in the depths of my bag? Are my heels going to beep? Is there something in my bag I did not pack? What about that gift my sister gave me to pass on to my friend and it's all wrapped up?

If I am wearing a wig, I usually feel just fine, well as fine as any other normal person does. However 90% of the time, I am wearing one of my cute little caps. So what's the difference? I hear you ask.

So let me tell you. Well like you, I wait in line and do all the usual things, liquids out, laptops out, belts off, followed by a bit of routine puffing and panting. I then wait my turn to be called to go proceed and go through the electric archway. You know the one that beeps if it feels like it. 

It is at this point, the fun starts. Now depending on my mood, the next bit can go a number of ways. Am I feeling playful? Understanding? Accommodating? Agitated? Angry? Awkward or even stubborn? How much time do I have? Also am I alone? With good friends? Or simply work colleagues? There are many factors at play.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't analyze myself or my surroundings, I just go through the motions, but I have worked out that the process varies quite a lot depending on the above stated factors.

So at this point, I enter the electric arch, and within seconds, I am usually pounced upon and with military command, demanded to take off my hat.  My most common response is a simple and firm "no". This often takes the unsuspecting security person off guard. Sometimes, they think I misunderstood the question and they repeat it, only to find that I had understood perfectly well. 

After a split second of recovery, one of three things happen.

Either they insist that I remove my hat there and then on the spot. They compromise and pat my head down. Or lastly, they march me off to a little box with a curtain and ask me, often more kindly, to remove my hat.

My preferred option is clearly the pat down, but if I am in grumpy kind of mood, I often enjoy the confrontation of the "Do-it-now" approach. 

Now let's be clear, I am all for a bit of experience, but I never lose sight of the fact that I need them to let me pass security, otherwise I am clearly not going anywhere. However I do find it a bit offensive when a big butch man, wants me to expose my bald head for all to see. Respectfully Sir, it ain't gonna happen.

I think what drives my anger, is that when I am wearing a wig, this issue never arises. Hello security people, you can hide things under wigs, you know!

So today, I was in a gentle mood and extremely keen to get home, Mexico city was not for me, so when I refused to take off my hat, I went on to explain, that it was a bit embarrassing, for me to do so, as I had no hair. The lady smiled sympathetically at me and chose for the pat down. Clearly this was a result all round.

However some how I know I am going to be obstinate another time, just because I can. So butch security guard, next time it's show time!

Taking control

I was having a particularly bad day when a friend called. How is it that friends always know?

Anyway, it seemed like there was lot was going on in my world and stuff was all over the place. After listening to me for a while, she said it sounded like I had a big head!! This made me laugh, as it described very well how I felt!

Every possible outlet was complicated and no one thing seemed to be working.

I was not in a desperate state by any means, more in a reflective mood. However my friend gave me direct and simple advise.

"You need to take control" she said clearly and poignantly.

Take control of yourself
Take control over the situation
Take control of the things that need to be controlled.

Then it all came abundantly clear. Waiting for someone or something else to decide or make the decisions for me was causing this unnecessary stress. My usual tactic of waiting for something to emerge, was simply not working.

So as the clouds moved away, I got a glimpse of the sun. I am now going to grab the reins and drive this goddman thing where I want it to go....

Packing - The two rules

There are two rules of packing in our house.

Luckily we all share them and see it is a sport, which is just as well, as we are often the butt of many jokes because of it.

The first rule is. Only one suitcase. It does not matter how many days or how many people, the rule applies. The size of the suitcase varies and yes we do own a rather large one that can carry 30kg relatively easily, but the rule is the rule. It think it stems from having small children, buggies and a passion for public transport that forced the issue, but the tradition lives on and we have fun with it.  I recall fondly our week skiing trip in the Alps a few years ago. We went by train with all our equipment and two small children in tow. Beautiful!

The second rule, a little similar, and possibly more challenging. The rule is that we only take hand luggage on flights if the trip is for less than a week. I hear you already cry about the impossibility of this task. What about shoes, gym clothes, room for purchases, but believe me with thought and planning it's completely possible.

Take today for example, I am flying on business for a week, I have with me, my flight case and my computer bag, that's it. However the thought and planning that was required to get there, may or may not be worth the effort.

The strategy: I have each outfit planned, no deviation is possible. I have one pair of shoes that match all outfits. I even unpacked my cosmetic bag and repacked to ensure I tool only the bare minimum.  With this system I often find I have to wear my sports shors, as these always cause the biggest space issue. There are other compromises eg the coat I wear. For example the one I chose for this trip is not my favorite, but rather it is the most neutral in colour, most suitable for the meetings I have and the most practical.

This is at times frustrating, as I do enjoy fashion and mixing and matching, but this is the price I have to pay for following the rules. There is however a "get out" clause. If I need something that I didn't pack, I can just go and buy it.  This self talk is very helpful and inspires the result. I have never had to do this, but it helps mentally with the tough decisions whilst preparing

The pay off for me is high. There is no luggage claim on arrival, definitely much less heavy lugging whilst in transit. There is no deliberation in the mornings on what to wear and finally very little unpacking in the hotel and on return to home! Wonderful!!!

However one final word of warning, don't forgot to remove all your liquids in your hand luggage......maybe this one is the one the makes this task impossible!

Am I the only obsessive, crazy one when it comes to packing?  Please tell me, that some of you have them too.............

The big reveal: I don't want my hair back

In my recent "Liebster blog" post, I declared that I didn't want my hair to grow back. This surprised a few of you, and if  I am honest it even surprised me a little.

This is a little shocking given that I used to describe my best asset as my hair. It had enviable shine, length and thickness, it really was quite beautiful, even if I do say so myself. Many of you do however know, that with dark thick head hair, comes the disadvantages. Dark thick leg hair, dark thick arm pit hair. I won't go on, as I guess you get the picture.  Yet, since the onset of alopecia universalis, I am the proud owner of a bald body.

This is quite a wonderful thing.

Think bikini, think shorts, think sleeveless tops and reaching for the top shelf, think no hair removal. Ever. Ever. Ever.

I for one struggled with hair removal for many years, bizarrely enough I even also paid a lot of money for laser treatment. What a terrible investment that was!!! Ironic really. I even remember discussing with a friend what we would give, to never have to shave our legs ever again.
Remember that DJ Spade?  How hilarious is that now!

Now, unlike many of you, I get to thoroughly enjoy bare legs in the Summer. I get to wear short skirts and strappy tops. All can be put on at a moments notice without a consideration for my body hair. This is a form of freedom many of you do not experience. This is quite fabulous.

And this, I have decided is the benefit of alopecia. This makes the burden of wearing a wig and tattooing my eyebrows, something I would find hard to trade in for a full head of hair.

Also I never get roots, nor grey hair!
So given all these benefits, it would be hard to trade it in for head hair.

Anyone out there got bald envy yet???

Lazy athlete

I am a relatively active person. I will have a go at just about anything. From swimming to cycling, from skating to rock climbing, from hockey to rugby. I will give it a go. I am not particularly good at any of these things, but that's fine I don't strive to be.

However whatever activity I am pursuing, I am always looking for a short cut, a cheat, a way to avoid pain or exhaustion. Take today for example, I wanted to go on a 5 km jog with a friend. We have a route which is always the right distance and reliable. However today my friend couldn't make it so I decided to go alone. So I dressed and headed out as usual. Down the cycle path, under the golf course, along the main road and back up "Cedar" via the train station. The route is so familiar that I could do it in my sleep. However today I was on my own, so what did I do?

I cheated. 

I took another road and cut off the corner. Why? I don't know. I just wanted to. 

As a result I jogged for 4.6 km not the usual 5.

I always do this, in my masters swimming course, I intentionally miss out one lap. At circuit training, I procrastinate in picking up the skipping rope, and usually finish a few seconds earlier. You name it, I have found a way to cheat.

Is it because I can? Is it because I am mischievous? Is it because I am exhausted? Is it because I am lazy? I don't know.

Am I the only one doing this? It seems a bit odd and I can't seem to break the pattern!

Insights anyone?

Famous prediction - Keynes 1930

John Maynard Keynes made a prediction in 1930 that went something like this.
Assuming productivity levels continued to rise, his grandchildren and great grandchildren would likely have to work only 15 hours a week. The rest would be leisure. The real problem, continued Keynes, would be, how to use the leisure time to live wisely and agreeably and well.

Some thoughts from BBB:

Is it because human desire goes beyond basic needs?
Is it because we chose to live in places that require commuting?
Is it because we never addressed the real problem as defined by Keynes, which was to work out how to use leisure time?
Do we actually take leisure on the job, ie coffee breaks, social media, chatting?
Is it because we love what we do and chose to work?
Do we believe we can only really enjoy leisure if we have worked hard?
Maybe his prediction was right and we do only work 15hours, if work is defined a certain way?

So the question I leave you with today is, why don't we have the leisure that Keynes predicted we'd have by now?

Liebster Blog Award

I was thrilled to see that I have been nominated by a fellow blogger, for the Liebster Blog Award. This award is awarded to bloggers with under 200 followers and there are 3 steps for gaining this prestigious blogger credential :-)

Step 1 - Answer 5 questions.
Step 2 - Recommend five bloggers who qualify under the terms of the Liebster blog award and whose blogs are either funny, interesting or thought-provoking (and sometimes all three!)
Step 3 - List five unknown facts about yourself

So here goes:
1. Why did you start to blog?
I started writing as I wanted to raise awareness about the subject of Alopecia, both for the sufferers aswell as for their friends and family. I wanted to tell people its OK to be curious about hairloss and to explain that the condition does not define a person.

2. How has blogging changed your life, if at all?
It has allowed people to ask questions and bizarrely enough given me permission to mention my condition. Strangely liberating.

3. Who, dead or alive, would be your perfect four dinner party guests?
My four best friends and each would have to bring some food. We would drink cocktails, good wine, tell secrets and laugh a lot.

4. If you could be anyone in history, who would you be?
God

5. Why?
To know if I existed or not

My five favourite blogs are:
http://theflakyfashionista.blogspot.com
http://tarina-insearchofsun.blogspot.com/
http://annajenkinson-culture.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchfifteen.ca/blog/
http://raisingflowersandskids.blogspot.com/

Five unknown facts about myself are:
I am a shy extrovert
I adore lying on the sofa wrapped in a blanket
I don't actually want my hair back
I prefer 60:40 to Pareto's principle of 80:20
I love kareoke, parties with friends and themes.

So now I feel I have earned my award and thank you Flaky for the nomination,

Happy Blogging, BBB

It's over

There is no denying it, the Summer is over.

The evidence is everywhere.
Pumpkin spice and cinnamon coffees are being advertised. The outdoor pools have closed. Work is ramping back up to record levels. Leaves are falling. Evenings are crisper. Traffic is back.

Anyone who knows me, understands how much I love Summer. I love the swimming, the casual meeting of neighbours on the street, walking to the village, weekends away, friends and family visits and doing all those things I blogged about a few weeks ago in my "What I love about the Summer" post.

So as sad as I am to see the Summer go, and its spontanuity, as hopeful I am about the next season. Apple picking in stunning orchards, the sheer beauty of the changing leaves, dinner parties at home, activities for the kiddies and a long awaited routine.

But I have to be honest, Autumn is not Summer, and transitions are hard. However there is little more predictable than the seasons changing, so it's just a fact of life.
That said, this year I will have an inner moment of silence for the end of summer. It was one of the best and one to remember. I am sad to see you go.

Tic tac's and teepee's

Generosity is a wonderful trait. I don't mean the gifts of things, but rather the gift of self.
Recently I spent the night in a teepee with some old friends. It was a cold night and we needed sleeping bags and blankets. In the dead of the night, my daughter, uncharacteristically began being sick. It was sudden and unexpected. We were clearly unprepared, all 9 of us.

Between us we managed, in a few seconds, to find a bag, tissues and a torch. Very quickly we sorted out my little princess and calm restored within a short period of time. Although my daughter was on her way to recovery, she was clearly distraught and suffering from a little shock.
My friend noticed this. She again got out of her warm and cosy sleeping bag, searched in the darkness for something in her bag and came over to my daughter and offered her an orange tic tac, to change the taste in her mouth.

This simple act of kindness was huge.
It made the world of difference to her then,
It is what she remembers about that night.

My friend did not have to do this, but she did. She turned a bad event into a good memory with a simple orange tic tac.

This reminded me that long friendships run deep and need to be cherished. This reminded me how lucky I am to have such people in my life.

Thank you orange tic tac for reminding me.   I will always carry some with me now, just so one day I can return this favour.

Ready for the conversation

"Mummy I am sad you have no hair", she said.

I was at first taken aback, but she was ready for the conversation. I told her not to be sad, as I wasn't. I went on to tell her, that there was a time, when I was sad that I had no hair, but that that time had passed.

I told her that I was no longer sad, as I still found myself pretty. 

She agreed as did my husband, who happened to be in ear shot. That was nice.

It's clear that children have a need to talk about these things. They need to understand what is going on and why.  I often forget about their needs, especially as the condition of alopecia is all about me. Yet clearly it isn't. The people around me also need to understand. Understand how I feel and why and how it happens. Especially if they are children.

I may need to talk to them more. About this and other things. 

Mmmmm might need to give this some thought.

Replies to your comments!

Dear fabulous readers,

I love your comments, I look forward to each and every one of them. They spur me on to new subjects and they offer me insights into how my stories impact others. I love love love receiving comments and each time I see "comment awaiting moderation", I get really excited. It's like being a child again and receiving a wrapped gift, with fancy bows and ribbons. I can't wait to rip off the paper and see what's inside. I am never disappointed. The comments are fabulous and give me a huge sense of purpose.

I may not reply to the comments all the time, but know that I care about each one.

That said I owe you all a few answers. So what was it they were all doing on my recent blog.  Well some of you got it right. Reading the trilogy shades of grey of course! The world went mad for it.
Then there is the comment on the energy givers and takers from reader Baked Bean! Good point. Another reader talked about keeping their house clean in case of midnight drama, that made me chuckle! I most definitely don't share that one!!

I love the fact the one of you confessed to ugly underwear and its importance in our lives. Hilarious. The fact that there could possibly be average Olympians really made me stop and think. Surely not possible.  Not forgetting the popular Tupperware blog, this was clearly something many of you identified with. As a result, I have received numerous emails with links to lemons and how to organize my cupboards and I have received emails of encouragement for my role as a mother! Thank you.

Know that I look forward to writing, but look even more forward to finding comments! Keep them coming and if you are sitting on the fence and have not yet made the plunge to post your thoughts, go on, give it a try.

Yours beautifully, BBB xx

Thank you for giving me her

I love my sister. She is just simply an amazing human being.

Growing up, it was not always easy. She was, and still is, four years older than me, as a result we did not have a lot in common. She was the grown up one who was allowed to do everything and I was the annoying one who quite simply just annoyed her.

In school, she pretended I didnt exist and I quite predictably, enjoyed shouting at a very high volume, all across the playground, "Whhoooo sister, here I am".  Hilarious! With hindsight, maybe not.

That said, now many years later, we couldn't be closer. We spend so much time together, despite the distance.  We hang out together, we drink tea together, we read books in the same room, we go for ice cream and we just exist together easily.

In addition to being the best sister, she excels in her other family duties. She buys my husband the coolest gifts and even sends my in-laws Christmas cards. The best bit is, and the reason she stands out amongst all others, is the way she is an Aunty. She adores my children and cares for them as much as any parent. She reads to them, cuddles them, brings them to school, buys them sparkly clothes, paints their nails, swims with them, plays games with them and does jigsaws with them. When she is not there, she writes them little letters and sends them cupcake postcards. She never forgets a birthday and each gift is bought with much thought and insight. In short, she is the world's best Aunty and my kids absolutley adore her.

I am very thankful for my parents for giving me a sibling. I can imagine our fights and constant bickering were tiring most of time. I am sure we drove our parents crazy. However forty odd years later, I want to thank them for giving me her, and for hanging in there, when the going got rough.

I hope our parents find joy in our relationship, I know I would be proud if my girls enjoyed each other, the way we do. Unlikely as that may seem now, I am given hope, knowing what our growing pains and antagonist behaviours were like? Yes I am sure they will learn to appreciate each other, even if I have to wait another fifteen years.

So this post is tribute to the worlds greatest Aunty, we love you and miss you! Come visit soon, wherever we are!