Being open

Recently I have met such wonderful people. I mean really nice people who could become good friends. I have bumped into them in all kinds of places, at the indoor pool waiting for the kids to finish their swimming lessons. At a friends house, even in line at the supermarket.

So why suddenly am I meeting these people?

Were they always there? Did I not see them before? Or is it that just suddenly they have appeared?

I think a lot has got to do with being open. I have started to understand, that telling people what's going on in your life, builds bridges very quickly. No one really likes the perfect mother, the perfect family, the beautifully organized household or the successful businesswoman. People enjoy each others imperfections, peoples struggles and peoples daily life drama. So as I meet new people I have begun disclosing, some of the stuff in my life, that is not quite picture perfect. And what I am finding, is a lot of people with similar stories and new ways of doing things.

Even better, what I am finding is fun, fascinating and super interesting.

So at the pool today, I spontaneously invited a family over for lunch. Why? Because in a 10 minute exchange, we discovered that our daughters who were the same age, were living with the similar difficulties. A condition that neither of us understood very well yet we both had found different solutions that were working for them.

So spontaneously we agreed to have lunch together and discuss more. This was only because I have taken a bit of plunge and decided that disclosing about me and understanding that others can help, has really opened up a new kind of conversation and better still a whole load of wonderful people, I would have previously ignored, whilst I read my book!

I am quite excited by this revelation, I wonder where it will take me?

So what about you? Are you the one volunteering information? Building that bridge?
Or like me, are the one with your nose struck in a book?

Let me know.  

Happy sounds only

One playing wonderwall on the guitar in the conservatory, the other resting on the bed downstairs, two playing sticklebricks in their room and the other two playing catch right in the middle of the cottage, with a teddy bear.  And me, well I am just watching it all from a chair in the corner. The best chair in the house.

There are happy sounds everywhere. Just happy sounds. 

The view on the lake is breathtaking.  A beautiful Canadian day. Cold, sunny and fresh snow fall lying everywhere. 

How rare is it for everyone to be doing just what they want, uninterupted, with no rules, no expectations and no demands.  Rare and perfect.

Life can be so good.

A beautiful sky

Following my recent sky blog, I couldnt resist posting this one!
On a runway.

If you were wine

I love wine. I can't say I have a palette that differentiates the best wine from the average wine, but I know what I like and often it's expensive.

I adore reading the labels and confess to absolutely buying wine based on the description.

Today I read the following description of a wine on a menu and it sounded simply delicious. I needed to drink it. It sounded just perfect. Just the wine I had been looking for all my life.

It read "A modern wine, dark in colour and very seductive in taste. This aromatic wine is marked by black cherry, raspberry and dark chocolate." Who wouldn't want to try it? Bring it on, I say.

I then began to wonder, if I were a wine, how would I be described.

So for pure entertainment value, here is my attempt at my personal wine. description:

A friendly wine with an unusual delicious plum bouquet. Full bodied, yet with spicy undertones. It provides a perfect balance of fun and power . Fruity yet deliciously intense if accompanied with the right food and friends.  A wine to savour as it opens up with time.

So what do you think, do I taste good?

So who else is up to describing themselves as wine?

Go on, it's hilarious. ......

The magic of music

Music has an ability to take you back to any moment the way nothing else can. You just need a few bars of a track to feel that emotion again, to experience that memory, to be right back there with those people, in that place.

It is wonderful and magical.

Certain pop songs that are constantly on the radio over the Summer. A song at a party that everyone gets everyone up and starts dancing. A CD that a friend loaned you, that you listened to on the way to work for weeks during that difficult period.

Music plays a really important role in our lives and listening to it really creates memories and raises emotions.

It's an interesting way to map out your life to. Can you recall the song you heard when your first child was born, maybe your first wedding song, what about the song that reminds you of your first kiss or first love. What about the song you played over a million times, when that special person left you.

Music is for the good times and for the bad. It seems to attach an emotion to a moment, possibly even bring it out, when otherwise it would have been kept inside. Songs have the ability to bring up tears in seconds, where words cannot.

Music plays a very important role in our lives, maybe without us realizing it in the moment. So I say, turn the radio on right now and put music back into our everyday lives.

Let's create some new memories.

It had to happen

In the Winter I often wear my coat hood up, when outside. The wind can be an alopecians worst nightmare. A suprise wind gust can really tear your wig off. It has never happened to me, but I guess its one of those fears us wig wearers have.

As a result, I also only buy coats with hoods attached. I never want to put myself in a situation where I am too afraid to go outside because of the wind.

So on this particular blustery day, like clockwork, I put on my hood as I left the building. So far so good. As I arrived, with my colleague, at our destination, I took down my coat hood.

It was then it happened.

As I pulled it down, I grabbed too much, and the wig came off too.

I felt the cold immediately and knew what had happened.

I was naked in the middle of a busy restaurant. Bald and exposed.

There was not much for it, I turned around, heading to a corner, pulled my hood back up and fixed the goddamn thing back on.

Within seconds I was back with my colleague, all smiles.

Did she notice? Probably. Did she care? Probably not? Was I bothered? A little.
Am I glad it happened? Absolutely.

It was one of those alopecian experiences, that just had to happen.

It was always going to and there was a good place.

Sudoku and other annoying things

In one of those looonnnng flights I often go on, I checked out the entire entertainment system.
It was quite comprehensive. Games, movies, TV series, learning, music etc
I felt unusually restless and couldn't decide on one thing to do, so I plunged for a round of sudoku. Easy level please.

It was fun to begin with but after a while and a few right numbers, I kind of knew where it was going and got bored. I was about to give up, when I thought, no, giving up is easy. Finish it.

So I decided to carry on. Wow it was so hard. It was less intellectually difficult but more emotionally challenging. I kept wanting to stop and do something else. The other games were calling. Play me play me!

However I decided to finish it. I swear it was really hard. I had to pull all my energy together, in order to focus and concentrate so I could plough through the goddamn puzzle. When I got to the end and placed the last number in the little box, I was exhausted and relieved. It had been stressful to finish the task. Seriously.

It reminded me of Belbins theory. Any of you remember that from your business studies course?

Plant, shaper, completer-finisher. What were the other ones??

Boy did that puzzle ever remind me on what I am NOT!

So as I calm down, I reach once again, for the relaxing stuff, the stuff that I am good at, watching a good ole sitcom.

Time for a detox and a bit of RnR!

Any body else have this difficulty at finishing things? Please tell me I am normal!!

My ocean of calm

It was a stressful moment. I was on the verge of panic. Not the life and death sort of panic, rather the "Oh my god if I don't sort this, there are huge ramifications, implications, complications and upset for everyone" kind of panic.

I am not a stresser and don't easily get flustered, but this potential screw up was on a grand scale. And I was the responsible one.

In general I am very resourceful and known for finding a solution to any type of problem, but with the masses of adrenalin flowing through my veins and the clock ticking, I was not functioning optimally. Possibly not even at all.

My husband was in another time zone, to be exact it was 2.30am where he was.

I had asked him to have his phone, exceptionally, by his bed tonight, just in the case that something in our beautiful, long deliberated plan went wrong. We both knew this was an important event. However neither of us really expected me to call. This was just one if those precautions you take, knowing you won't use it.

Yet mid fluster, mid mind block and mid panic, he was the only voice I wanted to hear.

Yes he could possibly help, although unlikely given the distance, but I needed his calming influence. He was the only one who could help right now.

So I called, it rang and rang and then a little tired voice said "hello". I felt immediately better. He was there. I was no longer alone in my struggle, help was at hand and all would be good.

Despite his obvious state of sleep and drowsiness, he soothed me and got into action. He didn't scream. "How the hell did you get into this mess?". Or "What do you expect me to do at this time of night?" He just listened and did what he could.

I think the real help was not in the action but in sharing the moment and alleviating my stress.

As it transpired within 5 minutes, the problem was solved and the crisis over. Had he helped practically? No. But emotionally 100%.

Looking back, I actually knew what to do and my plan would have worked, so really calling him was not required. But I needed him and I wanted him to share thus situation with me. I needed him then, more than I remember ever needing him before.

Best of all, he understood what I needed right then and there and generously gave it to me. He gave me an ocean of calm.

He spoke kindly. He offered help. He gave me quite simply a symbol of his love. Just when I needed it.

I will always remember this moment. In these few minutes, his actions pulled together everything I love about this man. His tenderness and sheer patience. His lack of judgement or anger. His kindness and loveliness. His willingness to make things better and his talent of always being generous.

I am sorry I disturbed your sleep dear husband, but please go back now, knowing that you were there right when and how I needed you.

Good night!

Lessons on looking after a wig

Following my post on my smoky smelling hair, I got a few questions about wig care in general.
So I thought it a good idea, to inform you, my loyal readers, on how to care for your wig. So below please find my top 9 tips for wig care:

1. Wash your hair once a week
2. Use only wig shampoo
3. Use wig conditioner too
4. Let your wig dry naturally - this takes about 8 hours
5. You can use products on your wig eg mousse, but nothing hotter than room temperature
6. You do not brush wigs, you shake them
7. Every now and again, you should place the wig overnight on a foam head, to ensure it keeps its shape
8. Never use a hair dryer
9. When I say wash your hair, I really mean let it soak in cold water with the product for 10 minutes


Did I miss anything. What questions do you have?
I wanted 10 tips and couldnt think of a final one.

Please help me find at least one more.

Please ask a question...........

Assertiveness

I am so proud of my oldest daughter. She is so assertive when it comes to her needs and always with a finesse and grace of respect and politeness.

For example we were on a long distance flight and after the meal my daughter was still hungry. She took it upon herself to go to the end of the galley and ask for another meal. She knew what she wanted, she simply took the initiative and was successful. She also came back beaming with her trophy, a second vegetable wrap! We were such proud parents.

What I love about these actions is how my daughter goes about them. She is clear on her requests and kind about how she formulates her wishes. I  love this about her.

This is particularly nice given that recently at a friends house, I picked up a book (on the toilet of all places) about women not asking for what they want. This lack of asking is seemingly one if the biggest reasons for gender inequality.

Way to go big girl.

My daughter does not have it easy, she has a few, lets say, challenges, so seeing such confidence and assertiveness in her, reassures me that she is going to be just fine!

She will always get what she wants, she will never be shy about asking for what she needs and she will always be loved and adored for her heart and kindness, which is quite simply beautiful and about the size of Canada!

Discovering differently

As I was in Vienna for work, I was lucky enough to be free from 6.30 pm, now usually there is a dinner to attend or work to be done, but this time I felt free. So what should I do??? The options were endless, gym, citytrip, TV in bed.....

Quickly, I decided to head into the city. I had no map and no info, but I had seen a subway (otherwise known as a metro, the tube or the underground) sign near the hotel. I figured that was all I needed. I also decided to leave the book I was reading behind, as I wanted to discover differently. I often like to read when I eat alone in restaurants or on public transport, as it tends to keep the weirdos away. But this time, I decided to do things differently and "be" with the people.

So out I headed. I feel really strongly about taking public transport when you are abroad, it offers you a chance to see the real people of the city. Locals don't take taxis.

The first thing I did was take a photo of the subway map, I needed some kind of direction and security. And as I didn't have a map, I figured this would do the trick.

I then also googled to find the best local restaurant in the city. Figlmuller it was then.
So with the help of my phone, I had a plan within minutes.

I had a lovely evening in Vienna, such a beautiful city. Round every corner is an architechtural suprise and wonder. Quite stunning. However the most impressive sight of the night, was that of my dinner. I ordered a traditional dish. Hereby the evidence. For those of you wondering, I didn't finish it!!

So to conclude my post, I did do Vienna differently, I relied on my instincts (and my phone) I had a splendid night out. I observed the people, I looked around in the train and I felt that I could live here. People seemed nice. I have absolutely no plans to move here, but somehow this is my frame of reference for a place.

I do have to say that as lovely as the evening was, I did miss sharing the experience with someone. People watching and city observing doesn't provide the best conversation.

Happy Wiener Schnitel everyone!

Transplant?

Today as I was listening to the radio, I heard a guy talking openly about his hair transplant. He was explaining how it had changed his life and why he felt the need for this intervention.

A hair transplant, I thought!

I had never considered that option.

I doubt I will ever seriously consider one, but the fact that I had never considered it as a possibility, made me chuckle.

It also made me wonder, what else hadn't I thought of!

So a short post, to share my musing. And now off to see what the Internet says on the subject!

Anyone out there, know anything about hair transplants????