Emerge and ritualize

Through our many country moves, we have left much loved people behind. Time and time again, we have had to say good bye and hug our friends so tightly, not knowing when we will meet again. Knowing the relationship is about to change.

How it will change is not known, will the friendship get deeper, will we drift apart, will we become phone buddies, will texting replace the face to face catch ups, will we just move on and treasure the memories. It is impossible to know.

It doesn't get any easier. But I suppose we have experience on the reality and likelihood of the friendship lasting decades. The great news: Many of the friendships last.

How the interactions occur, changes of course. One particular friend, my sage, was someone I saw a few times a week for many years. We played sport together and hung out with the same crowd.

Then she moved away.

We were very close and we needed each others wisdom, so we both knew we would not lose touch permanently.

But the "how" we were friends did change. We didn't plan it, but over a short period of time, two traditions emerged. And over time these have become engrained and ritualized.

Tradition one
Every time I am at an airport and have time before I board, I call my friend. She always asks where I am, and laughs when I tell her that I am at the airport. We have great, short chats. Intense and heartwarming.

Tradition two
She always gives me practical presents. Wooden spoon holders, wooden trinket box, a paperweight, boots, great books etc. so every time I use these objects I think of her and smile.
She is everywhere in my house, in every room.

No it's not the same. But it's special and we live on for each other.

So as we get ready for our next big move, I know we will be heartbroken one more time, we will once again question, why the hell we do what we do, but I am also excited to think about how we will keep our friendships going. What new experiences lie ahead.  And what fun is still to be shared with these fabulous people.

Who knows what new traditions will emerge and become ritualized?

So as the darkness of leaving comes upon us, I recall a lovely quote which reminds me what it is really all about.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

1 comment:

  1. As someone who has never moved out of the country....it is hard to imagine being so far away and yet still so connected...but it's good to know that you have experience with it and have had good luck with it too.

    I admire your courage to leave what is known to you and comfortable..I could never see myself doing it as get too attached to people , places and things I cherish.
    Nice post..and interesting to read.
    Lauren

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