So frustrated

I am so frustrated.

I will save you the details of why. But it comes down to lack of preparation accompanied with high expectations. Both high expectations from me and from others too.

Bottom line is I have hours to spare and nothing constructive to do.
La la la.

I am trying to keep myself in check and not to lose control, but it's hard. I like being busy. I like having a to do list. I like planning. However I can do none of this.

I have to wait and do actually very little.

To divert the frustration, I have decided that this is going to become a fun challenge for me. In this situation, which might very easily stretch into days, I am being put to the test.

How many things can I do to plan and prepare, in an unconventional way.

Alternatively, what can I read or write that will be helpful.

So I registered to the gym, wrote a blog, made some calls, made a list, made some more calls, texted a few people and then went to the gym. After that I sorted my address book /contact list out and made another list.

I suppose I should be grateful for this gift of time, but I guess I do have a strong work ethic, that gets in the way.

Maybe I will go for a walk and think about it.

Maybe I should reflect on my productivity rate. Maybe I actually was really productive without the usual infrastructure, but in a very laid back and thoughtful kind of way.

Whatever my walk reveals, I think I failed the challenge. I am still frustrated.

Grumble grumble.