Alopecia, I was learning, came in many forms. I had been diagnosed with Alopecia Areata.
This, I was explained, meant bits of bald patches on the head. So I was "just" patchy.
The other forms, I began to understand were similar, just more bald.
In simple terms:
Alopecia totalis - complete head baldness
Alopecia universalis - complete body baldness
Following the diagnosis of the condition in early 2005, the patches continued to grow. To a point where 18 months later, I was faced with the prospect of wearing a wig. The increasing size and visibility of the patches were no longer manageable with hairstyles and headscarves. The inevitability of the solution was looming. I was scared. I had never seen a bald woman. As far as I knew, they didn't exist.
I then seriously began considering medical intervention, maybe this thing could be stopped or even reversed. I had to give it a try. On a deeper level, I had also also began accepting that this alopecia thing was not going away. That was also a real scenario and one I had to seriously get to grips with.
A few days later, I went back to the dermatologist, who sat me down and bluntly explained to me the options of treatment, they appeared the same for all forms. The two I recall discussing were:
1. Corticosteroid treatments
2. DHCP
Neither were a guarantee for hair growth, but some success rates were known, thus he recommended either one.
At this time I made a philosophical decision, a decision that would guide all my treatment choices. I decided to create no further medical issues with my body, therefore if a treatment had possible side effects, I would not go down that route. I did not want to cause any health issus through a treatment for a non health threatening condition.
My decision was clear, for me there would be no cortisone. I did not wish to administer frequent injections into my scalp, although oral or topcial could be considered, but cortisone was a no-no for me.
I began to explore option two which was topical immunotherapy using DPCP (diphencyprone). This involved using chemicals directly on the scalp to produce an allergic reaction. The success rate suggested that about 40% of patients regrow scalp hair after about six months of treatment.
Despite the bizarre nature of intentionally causing a head rash, I thought I would give it a whirl.
This involved weekly trips to the hospital where they would smear the scalp with this lotion and then I would leave. Within a few hours I would always get a reaction and the stronger the reaction the more effective the treatment should be.
Each time I went back for treatment the strength of the DPCP was increased. This meant each time I left the hospital, the more likely I would experience discomfort, burn and pain. I went through this weekly procedure for months. It was awful, close to unbearable. My head was constantly itchy and scabby.
After 3 months, I could no longer carry on. There were no developments at all, nothing, not one hair had appeared. All I had was a scabby and itchy scalp and a constant reminder that I was suffering from a disease.
This last point was the reason I stopped. I did not want to be constantly reminded that I had Alopecia. I dreaded the hospital visits and the days after. I had begun to spend half of my week, down right miserable.
This was the turning point.
It was then, that I chose to live with Alopecia and not to suffer with it.
I discontinued the treatment at that stage and since then I have never been back for medical intervention.
In part three, I will share with you the quirky, alternative methods I embarked upon to bring back the hair and some of the ways I tried to hide it.
Stay tuned my loyal readers..........
It's complicated
Whilst having a chat with my daughter before bed, she said "I have a secret and I can't tell you. Oh I said all curious "Is it a good one?" She said "No mummy, it's a bad one and you would be angry."
So in a few split moments, I gathered my thoughts, quickly thinking about how to go about keeping her trust yet knowing if it's bad I will have to react! Agh - this is what I call parenting on the spot. Help, where is the manual, children are supposed to come with?
I will spare you (and her) the details of the what the secret was. But in short she was torn between two groups of peers. One group was the girls who she was desperate to be in with. The other group were the ones she really enjoyed and were probably more accepting of her. One side was expecting her to behave a certain way and the other side she wanted to keep close. She had understood that maybe her expected behaviour would hurt the other side, but maybe this was worth it? She was torn.
After a few moments of chatting, she sighed and looked at me.
"Mummy" she said " This is complicated! ".
How accurate was that of a description of any of our relationships. Even or maybe especially as adults.
However as I reflect, here are my two thoughts. Are complex relationships worth the investment? Is complication always part of something that is meaningful?"
And now I am confused........thoughts anyone?
So in a few split moments, I gathered my thoughts, quickly thinking about how to go about keeping her trust yet knowing if it's bad I will have to react! Agh - this is what I call parenting on the spot. Help, where is the manual, children are supposed to come with?
I will spare you (and her) the details of the what the secret was. But in short she was torn between two groups of peers. One group was the girls who she was desperate to be in with. The other group were the ones she really enjoyed and were probably more accepting of her. One side was expecting her to behave a certain way and the other side she wanted to keep close. She had understood that maybe her expected behaviour would hurt the other side, but maybe this was worth it? She was torn.
After a few moments of chatting, she sighed and looked at me.
"Mummy" she said " This is complicated! ".
How accurate was that of a description of any of our relationships. Even or maybe especially as adults.
However as I reflect, here are my two thoughts. Are complex relationships worth the investment? Is complication always part of something that is meaningful?"
And now I am confused........thoughts anyone?
They are all doing it........
My dentist, the company receptionist, my colleague, my best friend, my neighbour, my other neighbour, the lady at the pool, the manager who came for advise, my friend on facebook, my friend in Boston, my friend in Wales, the list goes on. They are all doing it................so what is it?
Alopecia matters
I have recently joined an Alopecia society. I had never considered it before, but one day I woke up and thought I need to belong. Its quite an odd feeling to belong to a group of bald people, but there you have it. I now formally belong.
One of the members was looking for people to write poems on Alopecia for her book.
Poetry - errrrrrrr yuk!
Then I thought hang on, how can I support a fellow baldy! So here it is, my first (and probably last) attempt at poetry. Hope you enjoy it :-)
Having no hair does not matter
At least that is what I told myself
Having a heart matters
Having a life matters
Enjoying each day matters
I thought I was right
For many years.
Now I know I was wrong
Having no hair does matter
What you make of it matters
Understanding what you do have, matters
Making it matter, matters.
One of the members was looking for people to write poems on Alopecia for her book.
Poetry - errrrrrrr yuk!
Then I thought hang on, how can I support a fellow baldy! So here it is, my first (and probably last) attempt at poetry. Hope you enjoy it :-)
Having no hair does not matter
At least that is what I told myself
Having a heart matters
Having a life matters
Enjoying each day matters
I thought I was right
For many years.
Now I know I was wrong
Having no hair does matter
What you make of it matters
Understanding what you do have, matters
Making it matter, matters.
Honzon
I like learning new words.
Thats what I love about the English language. Most days I come across a new word. A word that I have not come across before.
The word I discovered today, is actually not an English word, but it was used in a novel I am reading. Actually one from my selection mentioned on my "Which book to read?" post.
The word is Honzon. I am not going to correctly define it, but what I think it meant was "an object of devotion". This may come in the form of a person, a car, a job or even money. It is something you put a lot of focus on and that gives your life meaning. It is something that makes you happy or equally makes you sad. It is something that defines your way of being, the way you are and the mood you are in.
We all have them.
What I took away from this new found knowledge is that we need to be conscious in what we devote ourselves to. As if that object changes, so do we. The more we are devoted to these things, the harder it hurts when they are taken away. Kinda makes sense.
I am not sure if I can move my Honzons away from what they currently are, because I like the fact that my purpose is also defined by this. But I guess what I have understood a little more is that the exact same events, can affect people differently, because of their level of devotion to it.
So thats my thought for the day. Not sure I will change anything because of it. But I do like my new word. Honzon!
What are yours?
Thats what I love about the English language. Most days I come across a new word. A word that I have not come across before.
The word I discovered today, is actually not an English word, but it was used in a novel I am reading. Actually one from my selection mentioned on my "Which book to read?" post.
The word is Honzon. I am not going to correctly define it, but what I think it meant was "an object of devotion". This may come in the form of a person, a car, a job or even money. It is something you put a lot of focus on and that gives your life meaning. It is something that makes you happy or equally makes you sad. It is something that defines your way of being, the way you are and the mood you are in.
We all have them.
What I took away from this new found knowledge is that we need to be conscious in what we devote ourselves to. As if that object changes, so do we. The more we are devoted to these things, the harder it hurts when they are taken away. Kinda makes sense.
I am not sure if I can move my Honzons away from what they currently are, because I like the fact that my purpose is also defined by this. But I guess what I have understood a little more is that the exact same events, can affect people differently, because of their level of devotion to it.
So thats my thought for the day. Not sure I will change anything because of it. But I do like my new word. Honzon!
What are yours?
Lemons
Lemons are my favorite edible object at the moment.
They are just so versatile.
Think lemon meringue pie
Think gin and tonic with a slice of lemon
Think white fish with lemon squeezed on top
I have even heard they are great cleaning agents, but can't say I know too much about that.
In the winter they are perfect for the cough and cold season. A squeezed lemon with a drop of honey. Soothing.
I even use their zest in pasta to con the kids into vitamin C
Think pancakes with sugar and freshly squeezed lemon
Think home made ice tea or lemonade
Lemon sorbet from Jamie Oliver's book is always a hit
I just cant get enough of them!
On a slight tangent, yesterday whilst cooking, I had a little helper. She took the lemon and started rolling it on the sideboard. I knew this was a good trick to ensure maximum juice when squeezing, but how had she picked it up. When prodded, she answered, mum I learnt it on the " I can cook" kiddy program on the Internet. Wow, I was impressed. May make me slightly loosen up my technology restrictions.
So there you have it. Lemons are fantastic!
They are healthy, cheap, versatile, durable and downright yummy.
So if you don't have a stack in that bottom drawer of the fridge, I recommend you go buy yourself a net. See what you can do with them and let me know!
They are just so versatile.
Think lemon meringue pie
Think gin and tonic with a slice of lemon
Think white fish with lemon squeezed on top
I have even heard they are great cleaning agents, but can't say I know too much about that.
In the winter they are perfect for the cough and cold season. A squeezed lemon with a drop of honey. Soothing.
I even use their zest in pasta to con the kids into vitamin C
Think pancakes with sugar and freshly squeezed lemon
Think home made ice tea or lemonade
Lemon sorbet from Jamie Oliver's book is always a hit
I just cant get enough of them!
On a slight tangent, yesterday whilst cooking, I had a little helper. She took the lemon and started rolling it on the sideboard. I knew this was a good trick to ensure maximum juice when squeezing, but how had she picked it up. When prodded, she answered, mum I learnt it on the " I can cook" kiddy program on the Internet. Wow, I was impressed. May make me slightly loosen up my technology restrictions.
So there you have it. Lemons are fantastic!
They are healthy, cheap, versatile, durable and downright yummy.
So if you don't have a stack in that bottom drawer of the fridge, I recommend you go buy yourself a net. See what you can do with them and let me know!
Bald Olympians!
Today you get to experience someone else's writing.
I hope you enjoy it. I did.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-19133686
I hope you enjoy it. I did.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-19133686
Having enough time
Dear Katy,
Thank you for your comment on my post "Being an average mother". You have triggered me to write "Time management according to BBB". I am not saying I have time management cracked and that it all goes as planned, but I do have a philosophy that works for me.
I believe I have enough time to do everything. OK let me qualify that. I believe I have enough time to do what is important, and to me that can only be three things. The list of what I want to do is however longer than three. So in order to whittle my list down from 30 to 3, I begin categorizing and prioritizing using a bucket system.
Bucket one: Critical things, things that just need to be done or that I desperately want to do.
Bucket two: Important things, things that should no longer be put off and will most likely provide a better quality of life all around.
Bucket three: Things I would really like to do
Bucket four: Things I would really like to do at some point in time.
My list changes all the time. It depends on the environment at the given moment including health, work demands and time of year. Some items may also fall off because they get done eg learn to make sushi. That said I believe none of this environment stuff really matters. What actually matters is consciously choosing where to spend my time and committing to take the action. That's it.
Simple recipe right?
So my list generally looks something like this:
Exercise frequently
Sleep 8 hours
Play with the kids
Talk to my husband
Do family activities
Go above and beyond at work
Read novels
Learn new things
Maintain relationship with friends that I don't see
Go out with friends who live near by
Visit new places
Contribute to society
Have a clean and organized house
Have nice clothes
Cook healthy food
Listen to music
Write my blog
Watch television
Relax/meditate
Maintain a nice garden
Homework/ learning with the kids
Commit to a sporting event or team sport
Host parties
Visit family
Learn a language
It could of course go on, but this generally covers most of what I like to do in my life. So onto the next bit. Prioritization. Here, I need to take a long hard look at the activities and decide what is negotiable and what isn't. At this point the bucket four and most of bucket three usually gets a strike through. When the list is a little shorter, say less than 10, deciding what you control, what you can combine and what you are willing to delegate or outsource comes next.
Getting someone else to do your tasks may incur costs which may not be affordable at first glance, yet if the list of what is critical is long than three then paying someone else has to be considered. That said, if money is a real consideration and if you don't have the budget, and you can't find someone who will do it free for you, then something has to come of the list.
Also combing a non-negotiable with a lesser priority is a good trick, eg Can you spend time with your kids whilst exercising? Can you contribute to society with your partner?
This exercise is not easy. Tough choices have to be made. But my philosophy is make these decisions consciously. If you don't make these tough decisions, they will be made for you. Without your control and not by you.
So take my short list. Well sleeping 8 hours, this can't be delegated and it's critical to me, so that's a keeper for my top three. Eating healthy food, definitely important, but luckily husband is willing to take that one on.
Learning french, well that's easy, that's off the list. What about kids homework, this is a tough one, I would love to do this, but I have to be brutally honest, with the hours I work, I would truly have to want to do this to chose it. So this is one I would be willing to outsource. And this is how it goes, on and on. Each item requiring honest and tough choices.
So right now my top three are:
Sleeping
Writing blog
Swimming (and I get to do that with my family!)
That doesn't mean I don't call my friends or go out for dinner with my husband and it certainly doesn't mean I don't watch TV, but what it does mean is that I do these things with less discipline and more spontaneous when I have a spare moment, but the other three I do religiously and with discipline.
So to come back to your comment Katy, I dont find the time to do everything, but I do find the time to do three things. And right now one of these is writing my blog, as it's important to me at this time. That said in a few months, this may change and doing the garden may rise to the top. Unlikely scenario but possible. Who knows. I just know right now I have made choices and these things will be done. The rest well, maybe or maybe not.
So what are your tips?
Thank you for your comment on my post "Being an average mother". You have triggered me to write "Time management according to BBB". I am not saying I have time management cracked and that it all goes as planned, but I do have a philosophy that works for me.
I believe I have enough time to do everything. OK let me qualify that. I believe I have enough time to do what is important, and to me that can only be three things. The list of what I want to do is however longer than three. So in order to whittle my list down from 30 to 3, I begin categorizing and prioritizing using a bucket system.
Bucket one: Critical things, things that just need to be done or that I desperately want to do.
Bucket two: Important things, things that should no longer be put off and will most likely provide a better quality of life all around.
Bucket three: Things I would really like to do
Bucket four: Things I would really like to do at some point in time.
My list changes all the time. It depends on the environment at the given moment including health, work demands and time of year. Some items may also fall off because they get done eg learn to make sushi. That said I believe none of this environment stuff really matters. What actually matters is consciously choosing where to spend my time and committing to take the action. That's it.
Simple recipe right?
So my list generally looks something like this:
Exercise frequently
Sleep 8 hours
Play with the kids
Talk to my husband
Do family activities
Go above and beyond at work
Read novels
Learn new things
Maintain relationship with friends that I don't see
Go out with friends who live near by
Visit new places
Contribute to society
Have a clean and organized house
Have nice clothes
Cook healthy food
Listen to music
Write my blog
Watch television
Relax/meditate
Maintain a nice garden
Homework/ learning with the kids
Commit to a sporting event or team sport
Host parties
Visit family
Learn a language
It could of course go on, but this generally covers most of what I like to do in my life. So onto the next bit. Prioritization. Here, I need to take a long hard look at the activities and decide what is negotiable and what isn't. At this point the bucket four and most of bucket three usually gets a strike through. When the list is a little shorter, say less than 10, deciding what you control, what you can combine and what you are willing to delegate or outsource comes next.
Getting someone else to do your tasks may incur costs which may not be affordable at first glance, yet if the list of what is critical is long than three then paying someone else has to be considered. That said, if money is a real consideration and if you don't have the budget, and you can't find someone who will do it free for you, then something has to come of the list.
Also combing a non-negotiable with a lesser priority is a good trick, eg Can you spend time with your kids whilst exercising? Can you contribute to society with your partner?
This exercise is not easy. Tough choices have to be made. But my philosophy is make these decisions consciously. If you don't make these tough decisions, they will be made for you. Without your control and not by you.
So take my short list. Well sleeping 8 hours, this can't be delegated and it's critical to me, so that's a keeper for my top three. Eating healthy food, definitely important, but luckily husband is willing to take that one on.
Learning french, well that's easy, that's off the list. What about kids homework, this is a tough one, I would love to do this, but I have to be brutally honest, with the hours I work, I would truly have to want to do this to chose it. So this is one I would be willing to outsource. And this is how it goes, on and on. Each item requiring honest and tough choices.
So right now my top three are:
Sleeping
Writing blog
Swimming (and I get to do that with my family!)
That doesn't mean I don't call my friends or go out for dinner with my husband and it certainly doesn't mean I don't watch TV, but what it does mean is that I do these things with less discipline and more spontaneous when I have a spare moment, but the other three I do religiously and with discipline.
So to come back to your comment Katy, I dont find the time to do everything, but I do find the time to do three things. And right now one of these is writing my blog, as it's important to me at this time. That said in a few months, this may change and doing the garden may rise to the top. Unlikely scenario but possible. Who knows. I just know right now I have made choices and these things will be done. The rest well, maybe or maybe not.
So what are your tips?
Olympic dreams
Like many, my family are also in full Olympic fever. This has never happened to us before, but boy are we embracing it now. We get up most mornings and see what has been happening in London whilst we were sleeping. After a full recap and a few hours watching the live activites, we review the next days events so we know what we can look forward to.
We are however a little confused about who to support as we were all born in different countries and live in a fifth, so we cheer on five nations proudly. Although I do have to declare that my eldest daughter has been caught routing for China, but I think that's down to their fancy swim suits!
We even found ourselves blubbering, when Canada got their first gold for trampolining. It was so emotional. A reaction that took us by surprise on many accounts.
The kids are loving it too. We now have conversations about what it takes to be an Olympian and whether any of us will ever make it! I am not sure my answers are fully informed, but the girls seem to accept them.
Watching people be at their personal best and unfortunately experience some personal lows is so heart wrenching. It is incredible viewing, with a whole lot of morales.
So with a few days left to go. Go team Canada! Germany! Team GB! CH! Belgium! And ...........China!
Keep inspiring us and teaching us and who knows, maybe one of my girls, may have had a seed planted, for living their own Olympic dreams! An Olympic mum, I like the sound of that.
Now back to the 3m female diving finals!
We are however a little confused about who to support as we were all born in different countries and live in a fifth, so we cheer on five nations proudly. Although I do have to declare that my eldest daughter has been caught routing for China, but I think that's down to their fancy swim suits!
We even found ourselves blubbering, when Canada got their first gold for trampolining. It was so emotional. A reaction that took us by surprise on many accounts.
The kids are loving it too. We now have conversations about what it takes to be an Olympian and whether any of us will ever make it! I am not sure my answers are fully informed, but the girls seem to accept them.
Watching people be at their personal best and unfortunately experience some personal lows is so heart wrenching. It is incredible viewing, with a whole lot of morales.
So with a few days left to go. Go team Canada! Germany! Team GB! CH! Belgium! And ...........China!
Keep inspiring us and teaching us and who knows, maybe one of my girls, may have had a seed planted, for living their own Olympic dreams! An Olympic mum, I like the sound of that.
Now back to the 3m female diving finals!
Just in case of midnight drama
I have this silly little habit. No it is not tupperware this time.
I do not remove my make-up before I go to bed. Before I got alopecia every evening I did. I would routinely do, as the glossy overpriced magazines tell you, which is to systematically take off your make-up before going to bed. However in recent years I have stopped doing this. So what's the difference?
The answer is simple.
Leaving my make-up on, means that when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror my eyes look acceptable. To me, my face looks normal when it has make-up on and to me, I look healthy with that black outline. Clearly first thing in the morning, this is not the kind of freshly made up fresh face that you see on celebs, but it is somehow better than the alternative.
Just for the record, As part of my routine for the first 15 minutes of the day, I do carefully apply my make-up (after wiping off the black smudge smeared around my eyes). Which raises the question of why do I feel the need to leave it on overnight, knowing that this really is fashion no no.
As said the answer is simple and a little silly. I figure if I am forced out of my bed in the middle of the night, because of a fire or an armed robbery, at least I would look kind of decent. How ridiculous is that? As I write this I can't helped laughing at the fact that I even think like this.
Clearly what underlines this silly habit, is my discomfort of my unmade up face, my exposed red eyes, my look of sickness and my bare reflection. A face that looks odd, wrong and even ugly. A naked face I really don't want to look at.
Yet, I do find my midnight scenarios so unlikely that I have to laugh at myself.
So as I get ready to retire this evening, despite this realization, I once again go upstairs, brush my teeth, put on my pyjamas and snuggle up to bed without removing my make-up. And why?
Well, just in case a tree falls on the house and I have to run into the street, to save myself! Well you never know!
So what silly and senseless things do you do? What act do you routinely carry out, that logic defies?
Does it also bring you the same level of comfort?
I do not remove my make-up before I go to bed. Before I got alopecia every evening I did. I would routinely do, as the glossy overpriced magazines tell you, which is to systematically take off your make-up before going to bed. However in recent years I have stopped doing this. So what's the difference?
The answer is simple.
Leaving my make-up on, means that when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror my eyes look acceptable. To me, my face looks normal when it has make-up on and to me, I look healthy with that black outline. Clearly first thing in the morning, this is not the kind of freshly made up fresh face that you see on celebs, but it is somehow better than the alternative.
Just for the record, As part of my routine for the first 15 minutes of the day, I do carefully apply my make-up (after wiping off the black smudge smeared around my eyes). Which raises the question of why do I feel the need to leave it on overnight, knowing that this really is fashion no no.
As said the answer is simple and a little silly. I figure if I am forced out of my bed in the middle of the night, because of a fire or an armed robbery, at least I would look kind of decent. How ridiculous is that? As I write this I can't helped laughing at the fact that I even think like this.
Clearly what underlines this silly habit, is my discomfort of my unmade up face, my exposed red eyes, my look of sickness and my bare reflection. A face that looks odd, wrong and even ugly. A naked face I really don't want to look at.
Yet, I do find my midnight scenarios so unlikely that I have to laugh at myself.
So as I get ready to retire this evening, despite this realization, I once again go upstairs, brush my teeth, put on my pyjamas and snuggle up to bed without removing my make-up. And why?
Well, just in case a tree falls on the house and I have to run into the street, to save myself! Well you never know!
So what silly and senseless things do you do? What act do you routinely carry out, that logic defies?
Does it also bring you the same level of comfort?
To love is to grieve
As exciting it is to visit friends and family, as sad as it is to leave them.
We live thousands of miles from some our closest friends and although we make it a priority to see them at least once a year, the visits are often short and rushed. In those few precious hours, as much fun and favorite things are packed into the day as humanly possible. The preparation and efforts from our hosts, which we so gladly receive, is often incredible.
The hours spent together are wonderful; they are filled with updates, exchanges and in the case of some really special friends, musical instruments and cocktails.
As I enjoy these precious moments, I know tomorrow will be hard. As the phrase goes "In order to love, one must be prepared to grieve." I know this and I don't care.
Dear friends, know that I grieve internally when I say goodbye, but know that I willingly do this, as the return is massive!
I am so lucky to have such wonderful people to miss.
We live thousands of miles from some our closest friends and although we make it a priority to see them at least once a year, the visits are often short and rushed. In those few precious hours, as much fun and favorite things are packed into the day as humanly possible. The preparation and efforts from our hosts, which we so gladly receive, is often incredible.
The hours spent together are wonderful; they are filled with updates, exchanges and in the case of some really special friends, musical instruments and cocktails.
As I enjoy these precious moments, I know tomorrow will be hard. As the phrase goes "In order to love, one must be prepared to grieve." I know this and I don't care.
Dear friends, know that I grieve internally when I say goodbye, but know that I willingly do this, as the return is massive!
I am so lucky to have such wonderful people to miss.
My story - part one - The discovery
In February 2005, I felt a tiny patch of skin at the back of my head: about the size of fingernail. It was nothing alarming, but all the same it was a small smooth patch of scalp in a place where it should not be.
So what did I do? Ignored it. Yeah, great!
A few months later when I found another smooth patch of skin on the other side of my head, I decided that ignoring it was kind of dumb and not the right way forward. So, I found a dermatologist and went along for a chat.
The doctor was not overly concerned and said: "Patches of baldness can happen frequently and go as quickly as they come". He explained that these patches are often linked with hormonal change, life change, childbirth and the like, and in short, were nothing much to worry about. So, off I went, on my merry little way, believing in the temporary nature of the patches. And that was that.
Over the next few weeks, the patches got a little bigger, but still weren’t visible, so I carried on with life and thought nothing of it. The next part is a bit of a blur in my memory but I do recall that the growing state of my patches began to concern me as the round patches started to merge into a long strip across the back of the head.
I was no longer happy to wait and see. I was no longer convinced it was nothing and the hair would grow back soon enough. I was no longer okay with what was happening to me. If I am honest, I became scared. I was too fearful to talk to anyone about it. I was unable to find the words.
The fear was, maybe surprisingly, not that I was worried about my health. Rather, I was becoming increasingly aware of the visibility of the condition. During sport or with a gust of wind, the patches could be momentary visible. I was, simply, worried about looking odd and ugly. Looking like a freak with no inch of beauty about her. I was afraid of the future and I was deeply afraid of myself.
At this point I was referred to the local university hospital, and it was there that I got the diagnosis. I had alopecia areata. The diagnosis at this point was surprisingly easy, but the rest was anything but. There was no cause and no cure.
So it was at this point that I, at 30-something, was faced with hairloss. It could possibly be a permanent feature of my life, but then again, maybe not. The diagnosis was clear, but nothing else was. It was then that I began the journey of me and, unknowingly, at the same time began the journey of discovering beauty.
In part two I will outline what happened next, including the treatment options and the bitter reality of what lay ahead.
Stay tuned...
So what did I do? Ignored it. Yeah, great!
A few months later when I found another smooth patch of skin on the other side of my head, I decided that ignoring it was kind of dumb and not the right way forward. So, I found a dermatologist and went along for a chat.
The doctor was not overly concerned and said: "Patches of baldness can happen frequently and go as quickly as they come". He explained that these patches are often linked with hormonal change, life change, childbirth and the like, and in short, were nothing much to worry about. So, off I went, on my merry little way, believing in the temporary nature of the patches. And that was that.
Over the next few weeks, the patches got a little bigger, but still weren’t visible, so I carried on with life and thought nothing of it. The next part is a bit of a blur in my memory but I do recall that the growing state of my patches began to concern me as the round patches started to merge into a long strip across the back of the head.
I was no longer happy to wait and see. I was no longer convinced it was nothing and the hair would grow back soon enough. I was no longer okay with what was happening to me. If I am honest, I became scared. I was too fearful to talk to anyone about it. I was unable to find the words.
The fear was, maybe surprisingly, not that I was worried about my health. Rather, I was becoming increasingly aware of the visibility of the condition. During sport or with a gust of wind, the patches could be momentary visible. I was, simply, worried about looking odd and ugly. Looking like a freak with no inch of beauty about her. I was afraid of the future and I was deeply afraid of myself.
At this point I was referred to the local university hospital, and it was there that I got the diagnosis. I had alopecia areata. The diagnosis at this point was surprisingly easy, but the rest was anything but. There was no cause and no cure.
So it was at this point that I, at 30-something, was faced with hairloss. It could possibly be a permanent feature of my life, but then again, maybe not. The diagnosis was clear, but nothing else was. It was then that I began the journey of me and, unknowingly, at the same time began the journey of discovering beauty.
In part two I will outline what happened next, including the treatment options and the bitter reality of what lay ahead.
Stay tuned...
What I love about the Summer
Sleeping in til the first one awakes
Grilled cheese sandwiches at the community pool
Watching the girls blossom in diving and synchro lessons
Eating in new restaurants
Day trips to see whales
Seeing wonderful friends, old and new
Staying up late
Reading pages and pages of books
Enjoying talking to strangers
Drinking iced coffee prepared by my hubby
Camping in nature
Going for ice cream
Cycling everywhere
Just wearing hats
Swimming every day
Not having to make lunch boxes
Little girls in flip flops
BBQs with the neighbours
This is what I love about the Summer.
You?
Grilled cheese sandwiches at the community pool
Watching the girls blossom in diving and synchro lessons
Eating in new restaurants
Day trips to see whales
Seeing wonderful friends, old and new
Staying up late
Reading pages and pages of books
Enjoying talking to strangers
Drinking iced coffee prepared by my hubby
Camping in nature
Going for ice cream
Cycling everywhere
Just wearing hats
Swimming every day
Not having to make lunch boxes
Little girls in flip flops
BBQs with the neighbours
This is what I love about the Summer.
You?
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