Thank you for your comment on my post "Being an average mother". You have triggered me to write "Time management according to BBB". I am not saying I have time management cracked and that it all goes as planned, but I do have a philosophy that works for me.
I believe I have enough time to do everything. OK let me qualify that. I believe I have enough time to do what is important, and to me that can only be three things. The list of what I want to do is however longer than three. So in order to whittle my list down from 30 to 3, I begin categorizing and prioritizing using a bucket system.
Bucket one: Critical things, things that just need to be done or that I desperately want to do.
Bucket two: Important things, things that should no longer be put off and will most likely provide a better quality of life all around.
Bucket three: Things I would really like to do
Bucket four: Things I would really like to do at some point in time.
My list changes all the time. It depends on the environment at the given moment including health, work demands and time of year. Some items may also fall off because they get done eg learn to make sushi. That said I believe none of this environment stuff really matters. What actually matters is consciously choosing where to spend my time and committing to take the action. That's it.
Simple recipe right?
So my list generally looks something like this:
Exercise frequently
Sleep 8 hours
Play with the kids
Talk to my husband
Do family activities
Go above and beyond at work
Read novels
Learn new things
Maintain relationship with friends that I don't see
Go out with friends who live near by
Visit new places
Contribute to society
Have a clean and organized house
Have nice clothes
Cook healthy food
Listen to music
Write my blog
Watch television
Relax/meditate
Maintain a nice garden
Homework/ learning with the kids
Commit to a sporting event or team sport
Host parties
Visit family
Learn a language
It could of course go on, but this generally covers most of what I like to do in my life. So onto the next bit. Prioritization. Here, I need to take a long hard look at the activities and decide what is negotiable and what isn't. At this point the bucket four and most of bucket three usually gets a strike through. When the list is a little shorter, say less than 10, deciding what you control, what you can combine and what you are willing to delegate or outsource comes next.
Getting someone else to do your tasks may incur costs which may not be affordable at first glance, yet if the list of what is critical is long than three then paying someone else has to be considered. That said, if money is a real consideration and if you don't have the budget, and you can't find someone who will do it free for you, then something has to come of the list.
Also combing a non-negotiable with a lesser priority is a good trick, eg Can you spend time with your kids whilst exercising? Can you contribute to society with your partner?
This exercise is not easy. Tough choices have to be made. But my philosophy is make these decisions consciously. If you don't make these tough decisions, they will be made for you. Without your control and not by you.
So take my short list. Well sleeping 8 hours, this can't be delegated and it's critical to me, so that's a keeper for my top three. Eating healthy food, definitely important, but luckily husband is willing to take that one on.
Learning french, well that's easy, that's off the list. What about kids homework, this is a tough one, I would love to do this, but I have to be brutally honest, with the hours I work, I would truly have to want to do this to chose it. So this is one I would be willing to outsource. And this is how it goes, on and on. Each item requiring honest and tough choices.
So right now my top three are:
Sleeping
Writing blog
Swimming (and I get to do that with my family!)
That doesn't mean I don't call my friends or go out for dinner with my husband and it certainly doesn't mean I don't watch TV, but what it does mean is that I do these things with less discipline and more spontaneous when I have a spare moment, but the other three I do religiously and with discipline.
So to come back to your comment Katy, I dont find the time to do everything, but I do find the time to do three things. And right now one of these is writing my blog, as it's important to me at this time. That said in a few months, this may change and doing the garden may rise to the top. Unlikely scenario but possible. Who knows. I just know right now I have made choices and these things will be done. The rest well, maybe or maybe not.
So what are your tips?
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